I WALKED ON DRY GROUND

Returning to my journal from month 4 of my recovery from sexual addiction, I find myself writing about God's grace. I start out thinking I don't understand it, but find myself discovering 2 real life embodiments of grace! Join me, soak in the grace of God, and see what I saw!

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

In my recovery, since I started paying attention to what's actually going on in my life (instead of just numbing out), I started to notice what things stress me. I learned that sometimes things that stress me I also enjoy! This makes for a complicated circumstance. Join me as I reflect on a journal entry from early in my recovery when I was torn up about an activity that my flesh loved but my soul hated.

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Early on in my recovery, as my self-awareness was increasing, I became aware of a gift of mine. It's a good gift, but there are situations in which it presents itself as a burden. What's my gift? How do I fulfill my responsibility in using it, while employing self-control? Join me as I explore the dynamics of my gift!

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

What does renewal of the mind look like and feel like? Romans 12:2 commands it, but what is it? In recovery from addiction, since the battle is in the mind, this is a very important process. Join me as I revisit some thoughts from early recovery, and explain what my experience has been since then!

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Part of recovery from addiction is discovering the practice of medicating in various behaviors - and many times these behaviors are habits and "invisible" unless you're really paying attention. Join me as I revisit my recovery where I was uncovering for the first time a destructive medicating behavior interwoven with voicing my opinions to others.

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Fear is not a wall. It is something, but it's not a barrier that I can't pass. Join me as I continue to explore my fear of my self, and talk myself through what fear is...and what fear is not.

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Have you ever struggled to be alone with God? It seems like it should be easy, but I found it to be extremely hard. Join me as I look back at my fourth month of recovery, a time when I discovered a fear that was sabotaging my efforts to spend time alone with God.

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Continuing our look at codependency - what does it look like in the good times? How does my dependence on others play out when there's no external conflict, but rather peace and joy? Join me as I explore the other side of the coin.

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Picking up where we left off in Episode 31, I continue to explore the depths of my codependency. Join me as I explore more thoughts from my recovery in 2017, and more thoughts from my present state!

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Is it OK to depend on others to be OK? I don't know if I'll ever get over my dependence on others! Anyway, as I started my recovery 3 years ago, I became acutely aware of my body's reaction to my wife's state. Join me as I explore my version of codependence!

Music from https://filmmusic.io - "Nile's Blues" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) - License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)