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Prompted by Elena Ferrante’s novel My Brilliant Friend, Ash wonders what makes Moya jealous. Can friendships survive a power imbalance? What happens when YOU are the brilliant friend? And is jealousy a crucial part of desire?

Reading: Wounded Attachment by Wendy Brown

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Moya wants to stop hating men and start building trust, which means a dialogue about all the things that make that difficult: objectification, racist over-sexualisation, degrading comments, and rape (TW: 27m; 40m).

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*We’ve got merch. Gift yourself the If I Speak x Baggu bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com*

A mystery question from producer Chal prompts a conversation about secrets in romantic relationships – from watching porn to cheating with an AI boyfriend. Plus: advice for an autistic dater who’s been banned from Hinge.

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Moya has a simple proposition: September is the best month for fresh starts. But why do we always want a clean slate? Plus, a straight white man who’s trying to be good and getting flak for it anyway.

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Moya and Ash tackle your dilemmas, featuring a middle-class mum who’s become distant and critical, an ex-boyfriend who’s blowing hot and cold, a looming holiday with an abuser, a single man wondering where all the single women are hiding, and a twenty-something struggling to build friendships.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

*Get the If I Speak Baggu bag from shop.novaramedia.com*

A shocking real-life incident prompts a conversation about feeling safe, trusting your gut and the politics of public safety. Plus: advice on finding friendship after leaving a conservative religious community. TW: sexual assault (at 43m)

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*The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

What would it mean to be valued simply as a woman – not as a mother, wife, caregiver, girlypops or MILF? Ash and Moya talk about their animal natures and fear of motherhood in a chat spurred by last week’s interview with feminist critic Sophie Gilbert. Plus: how to go deeper with your friends.

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Music by Matt Huxley.

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Ash and Moya talk to Sophie Gilbert about the pornification of the ’90s and ’00s – an era when riot grrl gave way to girl power, the supermodel was replaced by the waif, and feminist solidarity battled against tabloid body-shaming and Terry Richardson. Sophie’s new book is Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Music by Matt Huxley.

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com*

Moya and Ash tackle a topic that turns up in the If I Speak mailbox every week: how can we get better at flirting IRL – and coping with rejection? Plus, how to process a failed friendship. Warning: Contains musical theatre.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Music by Matt Huxley.

*Flag your Special One status with the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com*

Ash has noticed that neither she nor Moya is white and urgently needs to talk about it. Has her sense of her racial identity changed over time? And where does it come from – their shade, their community, or the way they’re treated? Plus: which ethnicity is best at rice?!

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Music by Matt Huxley.