Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?

Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue!

New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now!

Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY.

After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better?

CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice.

Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering why men won’t watch ethical porn.

CN: The dilemma contains discussion of sexual violence at 35:00.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice.

This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from our bodies, and how to afford a second child. Plus: which hospital department has the sexiest staff?

Annabel’s book, Divided: Racism, Medicine and Why We Need to Decolonise Healthcare, is out now.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice.

This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation about whether their politics are changing as they age – including their takes on Your Party, Zack’s Greens and why the UK left hasn’t produced a Zohran. Plus: how to escape a situationship.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

Come and see us live! We’re in Manchester on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre. Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – actor, author and one half of Rizzle Kicks! Tickets are available from Dice.

This week, after listening to the new album by Lily Allen – the patron saint of oversharing – Moya and Ash debate the pros and cons of spilling your guts in public. Do we owe a level of privacy to those that have wronged us? Plus: when was the best time to be a Roman?

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now from Dice.

Our north-west special ones can still grab tickets to If I Speak live at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25th November, where we’ll be talking to journalist Lanre Bakare about Black British culture beyond the capital, as explored in his book, We Were There: How Black culture, resistance and community shaped modern Britain. Tickets are available from Contact Theatre.

Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre.

Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for a young fiancé who’s losing interest in his partner.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]

We’re coming to Manchester! On 25th November we’ll be at Contact Theatre for a live show with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There. Tickets are available now from the Contact website!

This week, Moya and Ash offer a thought for spooky season: why do love hearing other people’s horror stories? Plus: Moya spills on a dating disaster, and a dilemma about a mentoring relationship gone wrong.

Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]