If I Speak

By Novara MediaSociety & Culture Relationships

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Typical duration
62 min
per episode

Based on Podcast App listening data

If I Speak episodes

September 29 130: The inconvenient truth about convenience culture
Moya and Ash get their nerd on with a conversation about the rise of convenience and the loss of enchantment. How can we access feelings of wonder in a world of quick fixes? Is friction the spice of life? (With reference to LOTR, Jaws and Tony Stark.) Plus: when a so-called friend can’t do the bare minimum.
The book Moya mentions is Gabe Bullard’s Against Convenience.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr
September 22 129: How did the pandemic change you?
What if we still haven’t processed what the pandemic did to us? Was Covid a permanent turning point for our social lives and mental health? Ash and Moya identify an ongoing yearning for connection amid the scare stories and the manic bounceback. Plus: is it your fault you’re still single?
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 2 min
September 15 128: Does a widening income gap spell trouble between friends?
Moya and Ash think about how money changes our priorities. Should rich friends should pay for their poor friends? And how do income gaps affect our romantic relationships? Plus: what to do when your partner reveals an addiction.
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 1 min
September 08 127: Help! I think my friend is in love with me?!
Moya is worried about status – and so are increasing numbers of men in therapy, according to a recent report. So what does status look like in this economy? How are men adapting to not being guaranteed breadwinners? Can you be both downwardly mobile and satisfied with your life?
Plus: what to do when you suspect your friend is in love with you.
Read the article on men in therapy: https://www.theguardian.com/society/ng-interactive/2026/aug/19/men-therapy-achievement-grief
Read John Burn-Murdoch on women breadwinners: https://www.ft.com/content/4b7b8d3f-5625-4dba-ad90-66192c101956?syn-25a6b1a6=1
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 5 min
August 18 126: What if you don’t have to feel anxious 24/7?
Ash has had life-changing experience for only £38. Has she found the key to escaping her fight-or-flight response? And what’s the best way to process anxiety? Plus: how to respond when your partner’s porn habit makes you feel weird.
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September.
Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters at Vespers on 30 August.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
52 min
August 11 125: Is the era of conspicuous consumption nearly over?
Have we finally had enough of hyper-consumerism? Moya and Ash confront the political crises that are changing our attitudes to spending, and what that’s got to do with the World Cup and cerulean sweaters. Plus: what to do when you’ve lost all motivation.
Read the Vulture article about lifestyle influencers mentioned in the show.
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September.
Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters at Vespers on 30 August.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 2 min
August 04 124: Are you afraid of being ordinary?
Trapped in the attention economy, Moya wonders if our reading habits are affecting our sense of self, and Ash offers a feminist analysis of ‘main character’ versus ‘NPC’. Plus: what to do when your politics drift away from your friends’.
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September.
Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters at Vespers on 30 August.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr
July 28 123: How can I get better at dealing with rejection?
Ash dreams up a whole new category – Disasterclass – in order to talk about inevitable pain of rejection. Whether it’s jobs, romance, friends or success, how much damage can rejection ultimately cause? Plus: early reviews of the Andy Burnham era.
Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre on 26 September.
Get tickets for Symeon Brown in conversation at the Bernie Grant Arts Centre in North London on 5 August.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 7 min
July 21 122: Can you change who you’re attracted to? w/ Annie Lord
Former Vogue agony aunt Annie Lord joins Ash and Moya to talk about what happens if you let go of your ‘type’ and allow your romantic ideals to change. Her debut novel, The Project, is out now. (NB: Annie recommends Sharon Olds’ poetry collection Stag’s Leap.) Plus: advice for a man who’s feeling romantically jaded.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 8 min
July 14 121: Is it time to stop height-shaming men?
Ash and Moya answer a not-so-mystery question about male self-image and whether short kings really do lose out in the dating market. How does modern masculinity look and dress? Plus: advice for a listener fantasising about a romantic spark with a former colleague.
Send us your dilemmas: [email protected]
Music by Matt Huxley.
1 hr 3 min

About If I Speak

From the publisher's feed

Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean sort the personal from the political, tackle listener dilemmas and air their opinions on the frustrations of modern life.