Why did a muscle magazine have such a hold on me?

For years, I found myself drawn to images of strong, muscular men. I thought I was looking at bodies. Looking back, I think I was looking for something else.

In this episode, I explore a question that has followed me for decades:

If muscles could talk, what would they say?

They seemed to promise strength, confidence, belonging, security, and relief from the fear that I wasn't enough. But no matter how much I worked out, the message never changed:

"Get back to the gym."

Join me as I unpack the deeper story behind body image, masculinity, comparison, and same-sex attraction—and how I discovered that the things we pursue for worth can never give us what we're truly seeking.

Whether you've struggled with body shame, comparison, insecurity, or the feeling that you have to earn your place in the world, I think you'll find something of yourself in this conversation.

In this episode:

• Why I was obsessed with muscle magazines
• The hidden messages I attached to muscular bodies
• How body image became a search for worth
• The difference between pursuing strength and pursuing relief
• What muscles can and cannot give us
• Finding identity beyond performance and appearance

✉️I'd love to hear from you! Shoot me a line at [email protected]

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