Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

A disappearing best friend who still lurks in case she needs something. A guy who shoots his shot via BCC. And a man losing sleep because his girlfriend’s on OnlyFans. This week, the Biffs dig into three very relatable modern-day dilemmas pulled from Love Letters: the blurred line between ghosting and passive-aggressive friendship, the wild west of digital dating etiquette, and the fragile male ego in the face of empowered women. As always, Stefani and Ray bring wine-soaked wisdom, chaos-calibrated advice, and zero qualifications—just the way you like it. [Bottlerocket Spritz, Sparkling Rosé]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week’s mess includes backne, breakups, and body lotion masquerading as soap. Stefani and Ray dive into four gloriously messy AITA questions: the guy who asked his sister-in-law to sunscreen his bacne, the girlfriend who gave her boyfriend the crop treatment (literally), the almost-stalker who let a stranger cry it out, and the man who’s been washing his hands with body lotion for three weeks straight.

After listening to these blunders, one thing will be clear: some people simply shouldn't be trusted with a photo app or a pump bottle. [Summer Garden Spritz w/ La Marca Prosecco]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Love is hard. Boundaries are harder. And your boyfriend’s about to cry again. This week, the Biffs dive into three emotionally chaotic conundrums: what to do when the dating drought has you questioning if marriage is even in the cards, how to end things with your boyfriend without emotionally wrecking him, and how to draw the line with your dad’s new wife without blowing up the family group chat. Stefani and Ray bring their signature, emotionally honest (and very unlicensed) advice to the romantically bewildered and boundary-confused. [Enrico Serafino Grifo del Quartaro Gavi di Gavi, 2021]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

A psychic says dump him—so should she? This week, the Biffs dive into three very modern meltdowns, from The Independent's Dear Vix Column. trusting tarot over your own intuition, obsessing over your boyfriend’s ex (oops), and losing a friend to her walking red flag of a man. Stefani and Ray bring their signature best-friend banter and wine-fueled wisdom to the mess, offering emotionally honest (and very unlicensed) advice to the romantically bewildered. [Shimmer Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Sauvignon Blanc & Pinot Grigio Blend, 2024]

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you're not alone—and help is available. In the US, The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support 24/7. Call 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat online at thehotline.org. For our listeners in the UK, The National Domestic Abuse Helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line: 0808 8010 327.

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This Biffs read from R. Eric Thomas’s advice column this week. A writer’s distrust in their second husband has them questioning if they should contact the first wife to get their real story. Another writer's sister-in-law loads up her car with her own thoughts of her inheritance following their parent’s death. Finally, tensions run high when a man’s one night stand resurfaces after forty-three years, shacking up with his brother. [Octopoda Prosecco]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, the Biffs read from Natalie Bencivenga’s Ask Natalie. What’s the correct course of action when your husband’s empowered to be more controlling as a result of the presidential election? Oldest friend may not mean best friend, but should you still help plan their birthday? Pregnant, and now your abusive boyfriend wants to get married?  [Natale Verga Gavi, 2023]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

After a ten-month hiatus, your Biffs are back! Stefani and Ray hit the waves refreshed with new questions and the same banter. This week, the Biffs take on the Slate’s “How To Do It.” A girl know’s too much about a new girlfriend’s boyfriend’s past, and is chomping at the bit to tell her. A man is turned on when he finds out his boyfriend is married, and wants to look the other way. A man’s fetish for golden showers is anything but when his wife is unsatisfied with the only way he wants to have sex. [Miguels Rosé]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray visit Susan Writer's column, Ask Someone Else's Mom, this week. The Biffs read about potentially rigged, by-chance encounters with former flames; an inter-familial rivalry that has two uteruses vying for first; and a long-distance open relationship without rules on track for marriage. [Patrice Grasset Vin de France Chenin Blanc, 2021]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week's episode, relive some of the Biffs' favorite moments of Ill Advised. From episode 78 - How to Kidnap Us, a man's self-proclaimed stupid face is putting his wife off to sex with him. In episode 11 - God Damn It, Kourtney, her partner's weight gain has a woman questioning the future of her relationship. And from Episode 22 - Dick, Thom, & Beelzebub, a woman's lackluster sex life leaves her wondering if she can have extramarital affairs while staying with her husband.

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Out of the Vault: This week, the Biffs bring you an episode with unaired segments from previous recordings. From Reddit’s AITA, a father wonders if laughing at his son’s self-sabotage makes him an asshole. From Metro.co.uk, a man promises to suppress his homoseuality in exchange for shelter with his wife and their children. And from Ask Amy, a woman starts a Facebook dating profile after her husband does, but is asked to shut it down when she receives more attention.

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com