Sometimes it’s nice to rub velcro on your face.

This picture is of a velcro sushi toy.

Astronauts love velcro.

Tommy Velocity and Jamie Crowbar invented velcro by kissing with braces and a beard.

Nylon’s the best polymer and rayon can F*** right off

Sticky stuff gonna stick. Just let it do what it do.

Featuring Aliya Brown!

Puns are great.

Feghoots are better.

This image is a cave painting of the first recorded pun.

Not all puns are dad jokes and not all dad jokes are puns and some dad jokes are puns and some dad puns are feghoots.

Go leave a pun in your 5-Star review of this show on iTunes

Reality exists even when people don’t.

There are 17 multiverses and Batman’s in all of them.

Igneous rocks will outlast us.

There’s some nonsense about caves and shadows.

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Zombies were invented by George Romero even though the word doesn’t appear in Night of the Living Dead.

Zombies are racist.

They really like brains, huh.

Neither Jon or Glen actually like zombies, but they both know a lot of actual things about them, so we’re pretty on the ball this episode.

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Alphabet soup predates the alphabet by thousands of years.

Soup was invented by a sad bear who needed to learn to work together and make friends.

We didn’t mention it in the episode, but sometimes after Glen eats soup everything smells funny for a little while and it’s not because it gets stuck in his mustache. Does this happen to anyone else? He’s asked a lot of people, but nobody else seems to know what he’s talking about.

A lot of soups have turnips.

Stock is all about collagen.

The word soup comes from another word that means soup which is just bonkers.

Everyone (specifically Jon and Glen) know that a building has to be 10 stories tall to be a skyscraper.

J. Jonah Jameson coined the term “Skyscraper” in 1918 while demanding pictures of Spider-man.

If you dig eight feet down anywhere in Hawaii you hit magma.

There’s a difference between skyscrapers, mega-tall buildings, pretty big building, Great Pyramids, and big-ass buildings.

Donkey Kong doesn’t make any narrative sense, but the Rampage movie does.

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Teasing originated in the third century when one peasant shouted “na na na na” at another one, and today it is used to build anticipation for things like podcasts.

This specific teaser is for the Improvised Wikipedia Podcast, a podcast hosted by comedians Glen Tickle and Jon Lunger. Each week they will attempt to rewrite a random Wikipedia entry with nonsense, and what little actual facts they know.

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Cardinals, lil’ popes, or avian cardinalis, are birds. They love conifers. Are they like woodpeckers? Who knows? Glen and Jon give all the details they know about these bright birdies and then make some more up in the very first episode of the show.

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