It’s pronounced (struh-tee-jo).

James R. Frontbutt invented Stratego.

Glen and Jon like smashin’ pieces together.

One is the loneliest number and Stratego piece.

9’s are basically pawns from chess (Jon brought up chess first this time!)

Players think more about where to put pieces than is probably necessary.

Nobody knows what the S piece stands for or does. (It stands for “sneaky boy”)

L’ATTACK!

The frog is saying, “Why’d you sting me?” and the scorpion is saying, “That’s my whole deal.”

Neither of these fools has seen The Crying Game so this one’s buck wild.

The Crying Game could have been a book, but it’s definitely also a song.

Jon and Glen accidentally wrote a pretty solid amish teen murder comedy.

The Crying Game sounds really intense but we’ve still never seen it.

We won’t watch it and you can’t make us.

Glen’s Blockbuster card number is 23450316347.

Mini-sode or “Little Buddy” this week.

Score doesn’t matter. (It never matters.)

Parrots can be sad jealous lonely birds that live basically forever.

Justin Passino would make a better pet than a parrot would.

Maybe Glen’s neighbors have a bird?

Ecuador is wall-to-wall parrots.

Comedian Frank Caliendo is 7 parrots in a trench coat, but so are a lot of things.

You get to Sesame Street by following your heart.

Bert and Ernie gonna regulate.

Appearing on Sesame Street is a career goal of Glen’s.

Getting kidney stones pulverized is a sometimes food.

Telly is barely keeping it together.

Sesame Street did a 9/11 episode.

Oscar the Grouch isn’t a Time Lord but he’s got like two things in common with Time Lords.

Ole’ King Blue Tooth died of copper toxicity probably.

Glen used to review Bluetooth headphones.

Bluetooth was built to make computers talk to each other real close.

Tim Cook has weird ears and Apple headphones are bad.

A lot of grumpuses this episode.

Rate and subscribe in iTunes please.

Ferrets got stank glands.

Names for ferrets: Tube rats, stretchy moles, elongated hamster, hotdog vole, drinking straw mouse, play-doh snake rodent, the flightless linguine bat.

Ferrets aren’t real. They’re cryptids like bigfoot.

Glen had another kid.

This week’s episode brought to you by Umbrellas. Is It Raining? Get One!

James Taylor wrote Hash Pipe and a lot of the Green Album.

We’re legally required to mention Serial.

People complaining about vocal fry are dumb idiots.

Podcasts were invented by someone at MTV maybe? Jon’s pretty sure.

Brought to you this week by The Batsignal. Batman is tired.

Subscribe and rate our show please.

Wilson and Willis are basically the same name and Wilson/Willis Carrier invented air conditioning to save comedy.

We said Richie Warmkessel was bad but he’s our friend.

Love that frosty air!

5,050 btu/hr is the optimal btu/hr.

Bill and Pam Tickle are ice cold.

You make freeon by crushing up diamonds or something.

Patrick Stewart should have been Mr. Freeze instead of Arnold.

PRINTING PRESS!

Ibogaine is definitely something.

It’s the smell inside of a mascot mask.

A drug probably?

Richie Warmkessel is bad.

Some celebrities died from ibogaine abuse… probably?

Andre the Giant was 17 feet tall when he died.

Always keep Safe Search on when looking for Zootopia characters.

Aliya Brown wants to know about whittling… whiddling?

People do it with knives. ONE KNIFE.

One person. One tool. One piece of wood.

Beavers whittle… whiddle? They do it with their teeth.

The term comes from taking a big stick and making it whittle.

The point of whiddling is a dull knife.

Camping is boring.

Please someone talk to Glen about chess so he stops bringing it up during unrelated episodes.