In the blend

If you have an ex-partner, have there been times when you have wanted to perhaps make their life a little bit more difficult? Whether it might be with-holding information about whether you have a new partner, not letting them know you’re going to be away with the children, or speaking to them in an unpleasant way? 

Phoebe Wallish of Stepfamilies Australia says the research shows that it’s not how we deal with the kids, it’s that leftover contempt we have for our ex-partner that actually has an impact on the children. She advocates, that whatever your situation, it is important to be reasonable with your ex-partner and provide them with information as appropriate that relates to major changes or activities in your life - such as meeting a new partner, moving house or going away on holidays - and do so before the children do and they hear it from them. 

Whilst it might be the last thing you want to do, it is worth keeping in mind that this person is the father or mother of your children. She says if you can treat your ex respectfully and provide them with information that it would be fair to keep a co-parent across, then things can go a whole lot more smoothly for everyone.

 

Episode Link:

intheblend.com.au/podcast/phoebe-wallish-on-when-a-new-partner-comes-along/

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Communication is a fundamental requirement to the good functioning of any family - and especially so for a blended family. 

Sydney stepfamily psychologist Susan Lancaster, says the holidays are the very best time of year to hone our communication skills. 

She says that the technique of really listening to understand somebody creates a calm because you’re giving someone your full attention and you’re making them feel special. 

This is a simple thing but a very effective and important one to remember - in particular during the holidays when we have a bit more time than usual. Susan says we should practise listening to understand, not to respond - and will benefit from getting to know your blended family members at a deeper level as part of the process. 

Episode Link:  
intheblend.com.au/podcast/susan-lancaster-on-surviving-the-holidays/

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The backwards and forwards of kids belongings (especially if you have younger children) can feel like one of the most tedious reminders of life with an ex-partner. 

Life Admin Queen, Mia Northropp, has a unique suggestion when it comes to the process of managing kids clothes when they live in two homes. Her idea - doing an annual audit together with your co-parent, is something she says is highly effective. 

 

Link to the episode:

intheblend.com.au/podcast/mia-northrop-on-mastering-the-logistics/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.