In the Middle of It with Amy Kelly, The Ish Girl

IN THE BEGINNING

I've been reflecting so much this week about the humble beginning of my podcasting journey. Thinking back on all the things that inspired me to start it: conversations with my friend (and ex-cousin-in-law); my love of books, my love for teens, the great 13 Reasons Why debacle I experienced with my 13-year-old daughter.

Creating 100 episodes is such a huge deal for me – there were times I thought I wouldn't make it past the 10th, 25th, or 50th episodes. From that terrifying moment I hit "publish" on my first episode, through all the weeks in the beginning when slogged through learning all the technology, to when I hit a good pace at around 30-ish episodes – it seems like a blur.

BUMPS, BRUISES, AND BEGINNING ANEW

There have been some bumps and bruises along the way, some rough endings and do-overs that have been messy and challenging. But I wouldn't trade anything for a minute of it.

I've given myself so many fresh starts along the way from new beginnings and rebranding to expanding my content to encompass middle school teachers as well as parenting.

EVOLUTIONS AND BEGINNING TO FOCUS

As the podcast has evolved, I'm beginning to focus on some key areas, like healthy boundaries, developmental appropriateness, and connecting with your teens. I'm so proud of the work I've done – and continue to do - to put tools in your hands along the way that help in understanding, relating to and connecting with your teens

To celebrate this 100th episode, I've curated episodes that go along with 5 different areas. You can click on any of the links to find the episodes related to these topics:

Healthy boundaries

Developmental appropriateness

Young Adult books

Teaching teens

Parenting teens

GRATITUDE AND THANKS

I want to give a big thanks to each one of you! I can't tell you how much fun I've had beginning this journey with you, and how much I appreciate the time you share with me, hanging out and listening.

ENTER TO WIN ONE OF TWO $50 AMAZON GIFT CARDS!!

To show my gratitude, I'm inviting you to enter a drawing for two (2) $50 Amazon Gift cards. Here's what you need to do to enter:

1. Go to my FaceBook or Instagram profile.
2. Comment on the FB or IG posts I'm sharing about Episode 100, by sharing 1 way the In the Middle of It podcast has helped you with your teens.
3. Take a screenshot and DM it to me, along with your best email address.
4. Join me on FaceBook live, Monday, Oct. 12 at 7:00 CST.
5. See if your name is drawn to win one of the two (2) $50 Amazon Gift Cards

ZOOM BUSTERS FINALE

I've spent the past four weeks immersed in the Zoom Busters my friend, Kellye Abernathy, created for us. These stretching and breathing exercises have helped me as I've spent hours at my computer. They've also got me thinking about what it means to be focused and present in the moment.

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE MOMENT - OR THE REST OF THE MAP GETS IT!

My all-time favorite TV series is The Gilmore Girls. Because we just dropped my son off at college a month ago, one of the episodes that's been on my mind is the one where Lorelai helps Rory move into her dorm room at Yale.

If you're not familiar with the show, Rory is a high-achieving, conscientious student. I'm remembering an episode when she is stressing out about all. the. things. as she walks into her dorm room, studying a campus map.

Lorelai, her mother, stops her, turns her around, and marches her out of the suite, saying, "All right. You just missed it! Walking into your dorm suite for the first time. Do over!" She pushes her out the door, declaring, "You're gonna be in the moment. You're gonna be in the moment! Or the rest of the map gets it!"

They go through the space again, after which Rory hugs Lorelai and thanks her for forcing her to be in the moment. "It's something I would not have wanted to miss."

Lorelai, being the savvy Mom she is, thanks Rory for "pretending that you're not worried about all. the. things."

REMINDING TEENS TO BE MINDFUL

I'm bringing this up because sometimes our teens have to be reminded to be mindful. To live in the moment and take in all the things around them.

I know I've said this before in other episodes, but one of my biggest surprises in parenting my teens has been in NOT having to stay on them to do homework, be responsible, make sure they're taking care of all the things. It's been the opposite – helping them manage anxiety, trying to help them see the bigger picture, forcing them to take mental health breaks. To not miss the moments.

I realize that may be a different struggle than some of you have, but I think the mindfulness issue manifests in a lot of different ways. Whether your teens aren't mindful because they're so stressed, or they're not mindful because they've tuned out the world to focus on their screens, it's still the same coin.

ZOOM BUSTERS AND MINDFULNESS

Researchers have found that mindfulness practice improves well-being, physical health, and mental health. And as one of the grown-ups in your teens' lives, it's a really good idea to be intentional about being mindful. Not just modeling it, but doing things like what Lorelai did, and literally forcing them to be. in. the. moment.

That's one of the things Kellye Abernathy is helping us do in today's episode. This is the last episode in a 4-part series where Kellye is walking us through several sets of Zoom Busters.

MY FAVORITE ZOOM BUSTERS SET

All of the Zoom Busters are great for helping students reset and refocus, and of course, practice mindfulness. Not just mind-body awareness, but also being aware of their surroundings and experiences in the moment.

But out of all of them, I think the last one – the 6th Zoom Buster – is my favorite. In this one, Kellye guides us through a sensory meditation focusing on all 5 senses.

Not surprisingly, it's also a great way to help them practice mindfulness.

FREE ZOOM BUSTERS RESOURCES FOR YOU

Kellye designed these Zoom Busters to be used individually, for shorter 3-5minute breaks, or consecutively, for a longer stretching session. If you'd like to use them with your students, sure to check out the videos we created for the Zoom Buster Posture Set-Up and all 6 Sets.

There is also a free Zoom Busters PDF you can download. You can use the Cues to guide your students through all the Zoom Busters – or you can use them for yourself! I know we're all in front of our computer screens for longer periods of time these days. They really are great for helping all of us reset and refocus – not just our teens.

THANKS FOR THE ZOOM BUSTERS, KELLYE!

Before closing out this series, I have to give a big shout out to Kellye Abernathy. Thank you so much, Kellye, for all the time and effort you put into designing these Zoom Busters for the In the Middle of It podcast!

EXCITED ABOUT ZOOM BUSTERS

There's a reason I'm so excited about the Zoom Busters my friend Kellye Abernathy is sharing with us. Here's one story that explains why.

A VERY ROUGH YEAR

When my kids were 9 & 11, our family had a particularly rough year. It was one of those seasons in our family when everything that could go wrong, did.

Things started out with a bang in March of that year when my father-in-law took a nasty fall and was hospitalized. It went downhill from there.

By December, we had survived:

• the death of my father-in-law,
• two very serious car accidents,
• a cardiac scare (me),
• appendicitis (my husband), and
• a slew of job-related stresses.

All things that kept us in a constant state of anxiety - which is why I'm sharing this particular story.

STRESS AND THE BODY

Whether we're aware of it or not, our bodies carry the stress, worry, anxiety, and chaos of what is happening in our minds.

Case in point – that cardiac scare of mine.

It started (like all good stories) with a road trip. Six hours, in the driving rain. Four kids and one dog in the back seat. A mother-in-law in the passenger seat whacking my shoulder every time she was scared by the road conditions. By the end of it, my left arm and neck had been numb for the last hour of the trip.

Once we got home, I called my doctor's office. Of course, the nurse told me to run, don't walk, to the hospital. Like a crazy person, I drove myself to the nearest ER (did I mention my husband was traveling for work?) They immediately whisked me into triage and started poking, prodding, and testing me.

After an overnight stay, we got the good news. It wasn't a cardiac event at all. It was purely stress and anxiety.

STRESS AND OUR TEENS

Right now, our world is going through a collective time of stress and anxiety – including our teens.

Whether they're doing their learning virtually or face-to-face, our landscape has changed, drastically.

Not only does the coronavirus pose a real and present danger, but there is also the civil unrest gripping our country. Not to mention a contentious election that is at the forefront of the news cycle right now.

ANOTHER SOURCE OF ANXIETY

I'm not going to go into the complexities of all those things, because that's not the point. The point is that our teens are absorbing all of this. In addition, they're taking on developmentally appropriate stress. The kind that comes from not getting to see friends, participate in activities they love, or experience milestones they've long anticipated.

And that anxiety? It's sitting on their shoulders, constricting their chests, and curling in the muscles of their limbs.

ZOOM BUSTERS FOR THE WIN

That's why, for the past couple of weeks, my good friend Kellye Abernathy and I have been sharing the Zoom Busters that she created.

These stretching and breathing exercises help teens reset and refocus as they learn virtually, but their purpose goes deeper than that.

Using these Zoom Busters will create more body-mind awareness in your teens and help them identify where there is stress stored in their body.

When they can do that, they are empowered to use movement – like these exercises – to release that stress. Which makes for healthier teens. And healthier adults too – I'm throwing that in because these Zoom Busters can make a huge difference in your day too.

MEET OUR ZOOM BUSTERS CREATOR

Kellye Abernathy is a rock star of a human being, and I can't wait for you to get to know her. She is a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) with over 500 hours of specialized training. She is also the very best example of a life-long learner that I've ever encountered. Her passion for brain research and exploring how humans connect with the natural world is beyond inspiring. I love how she brings everything that she's learning to the table as she writes, teaches yoga, and comes alongside crisis survivors.

Be sure to head to the Referenced in this Episode section below to watch the videos of Kellye leading us through the Zoom Busters.

STRESS AND THE BENEFITS OF BREATHING

Before I close out I also want to share a couple of things I learned as I prepped for this series of episodes.

One, stress can manifest in the body in all kinds of ways.

That includes things like headaches, upset stomachs, and muscle aches and pains. In the Referenced in this Episode section below, I've included an article on some of the physical things your teens might be experiencing that could indicate they're experiencing anxiety.

Two, there's a lot of research that points to breathing exercises as an antidote to stress.

Specifically, using a variety of breathing exercises is best. That means Kellye's Zoom Busters are extra-awesome because she walks us through a different kind in each set. I've included an article about that as well.

PLEASE REACH OUT

If anxiety in your teens is something you're concerned about, nothing beats a trip to your family doctor or a counselor. Please reach out to your support system for help with this.

ZOOM BUSTERS AND MIND-BODY AWARENESS

This week is part two of the Zoom Busters series where my friend, Kellye Abernathy, and I are sharing some strategies that will help you show your teens how to practice that mind-body awareness.

When I was 12, I grew 6 inches in 12 months. The growing pains alone were excruciating, In addition, there was the awkwardness that comes from your brain getting caught up to your physical size. There's a period of adjustment because your arms and legs don't end up in the same place when you move them as they did yesterday.

CONNECTING THE DOTS

I was well into my thirties before I got the hang of it. That connection between the physical feelings I had and how they impacted me mentally and emotionally. Cranky and out of sorts? Yeah, that probably means I'm hungry or tired. Shoulders tight and jaws achy? That probably means I've got some anxiety going on, and that's where I'm holding it.

I'm on a lifelong journey to connect all the dots that make up me – the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sides of me. And I want the same thing for my teens. For your teens too!

MEET KELLYE, OUR ZOOM BUSTERS CREATOR

Kellye is a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) with over 500 hours of specialized training. She has a passion for helping others and volunteers a generous amount of time serving and mentoring crisis-survivors.

She has put together an amazing set of what she calls Zoom Busters for teachers and parents to do with their students who are learning virtually.

WHY ZOOM BUSTERS?

We know that it's difficult for anyone to sit at a computer hour after hour – especially teens! These Zoom Busters are 3-5-minute stretching and breathing exercises that you can do with your students to help them reset and refocus.

There are 6 Zoom Buster sets, and they can be done individually for shorter breaks, or consecutively for a full-body energization.

PROPER SET-UP FOR ZOOM BUSTERS

In the last episode, Kellye and I talked about the importance of setting up proper posture before each of the Zoom Busters. You can check up the video for that below. Anytime Kellye refers to the set-up posture, that's what she's talking about, so if you haven't watched or listened to it, I encourage you to do so before moving on to any of the actual exercises.

Today, Kellye is walking us through the first 2 Zoom Buster sets – the first is for the shoulders, the second is for the face. Yep – you heard that right. You'll have to listen to find out what that looks like!

There are videos demonstrating these Zoom Busters below as well, so be sure to check those out.

YOUR NOSE KNOWS

Last week, Kellye and I talked about the book Breath, by James Nestor. Because we practiced Alternate Nostril Breathing – if you remember I was a little sketchy on it – I wanted to do a bit of research. Here's what I discovered.

Right Nostril Breathing:

Speeds up circulation.

Warms the body.

Increases cortisol levels, blood pressure, and heart rate.

Activates the sympathetic nervous system (the "fight-flight-freeze" mechanism).

Increases blood flow to the left hemisphere of the brain, specifically your prefrontal cortex.

The left side of the brain is associated with logical decisions, language, and computing.

Left Nostril Breathing:

Is connected to the parasympathetic system (the "rest-and-relax" side).

Lowers blood pressure.

Cools the body.

Reduces anxiety.

Shifts blood flow to the right side of the brain.

The right hemisphere of the brain is associated with creative thoughts, the formation of mental abstractions, and the production of negative emotions.

CROSS-BODY ACTIVITIES

That cross-hemisphere concept made me think of something I used to do in my classroom. It helped my students wake up and refocus.

Because cross-body activities can activate both sides of the brain, I had students do this whenever they seemed lethargic or antsy.

The Crossbody Shuffle

Stand up.

Take your left hand, move it across your body, and grab your right earlobe.

Holding on to your earlobe, take your right hand and place it on your nose.

Check to make sure your left arm is closest to our body, with your right arm crossed over in front of it.

Lift one foot, so that you're only standing on one foot.

Rotate in a circle by hopping.

EMPOWERING STUDENTS WITH ZOOM BUSTERS

What I love about these first two Zoom Busters is that Kellye draws our attention to mind-body awareness. She really has students think about where they're holding tension. Once they can identify that, they are empowered to use the Zoom Busters they've learned when they need them.

In addition, it's empowering for students to understand the different crossbody movements that help activate different brain hemispheres. Especially if they can note the side of the brain where they most identify. Once they've done that, they'll be able to choose movements that activate the hemisphere where they feel more challenged.

ZOOM BUSTERS

This is part one of a four-part series on breathing and stretching exercises (Zoom Busters) teachers and parents can use to help students refocus and stay motivated during virtual learning.

Today, we're setting the stage and sharing how to set up yourself - and your students – up for success as you use these zoom busters.

WHAT DOES BREATHING WELL REALLY MEAN?

James Nestor's book, Breath, presents us with a new way to look at the art and power of breathing. His book is very timely because many of us focused on breathing as a result of COVID.

Nestor shares techniques known in ancient cultures and acknowledged by science and medicine. He shares strategies to maximize breath and use it to relax and fuel the body in all of the right ways.

Breath helps people with breathing issues like asthma, COPD, and emphysema. Nestor's recommendations can help people find immediate relief and long-term hope.

The book advocates nose breathing rather than mouth breathing, which may sound simple, but is super-impactful.

The discussions I had with my friend, Kellye Abernathy, about Breath began our journey to these episodes on breathing and stretching exercises for students. The book reminded us that the mind/body/brain connection is so important.

USE YOUR IMAGINATION

We all must be grounded in the reality of what virtual learning is - for everyone involved, being on a screen for hours on end can be difficult.

The environments students are in are very different than what we see on the little slice of the zoom screen. From living arrangements to siblings present, to parents working at home for their own jobs, it can be easy to picture our students having the same kind of environment and set-up that we do. But that's not always the case.

It's important to use our imaginations – and our empathy – and have grace with individuals. For:

Teachers to have grace with families – we don't always know the configuration of a student's physical environment or how many distractions are present.

Parents to have grace with teachers – they are having to do things differently and may be teaching from home themselves. With many districts offering both virtual and face-to-face options, teachers are essentially being asked to do two jobs

Use your imagination and empathy to set the scene for a positive experience. Ask yourself what it is like to walk in their shoes? Go about working together based on that.

SETTING UP ZOOM BUSTERS FOR SUCCESS

Important things to remember:

Give students time to process verbal cues.

Make sure students learn the set-up for good posture before moving on to the exercises

Monitor students via your zoom screen, and teach them to self-adjust

Suggestions:

Give students the opportunity to name poses.

Have students create stretching/breathing exercises based on their own extracurricular activities (athletics, dance, band, chorus, etc.) and assign them a day to lead their own Zoom Busters. Involving them may help keep the snark to a minimum – when they know they're going to eventually have their own turn, they might have more grace with the peers who are leading now.

ZOOM BUSTER POSTURE

Posture is SO important. It's where you'll start all the exercises.

Sit up straight

(Just like your Mom told you!)

Feet flat on the floor

Adaptations: flexed on stools, or on stool rungs, or even standing up. This is the foundation for sitting up straight.

Shoulders up, roll them back, drop them down Chin level to the floor

Not lifted or down, and no tech-neck pose with chin & head jutted forward. This allows for full relaxation and lung capacity to be used.

Relaxed hands ZOOM BUSTER TIP

Come up with a name to use as a verbal cue in the middle of lessons to have students reset to this posture. It can be done instantaneously and it gives them a different level of attention and focus.

MY NEW FAVORITE WORD: SONDER

Recently, a good friend shared a new word with me. Now it is my very, very favorite. It just captures the essence of an idea I've had floating in the back of my head perfectly.

This word was coined within the past decade by John Koenig who has created the dictionary of obscure sorrows. Are you ready? Here it is: sonder.

THE DEFINITION

sonder

the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

PONDERING SONDER

As I pondered, well, sonder, I thought so much about right now, and how I long for the world to embrace this idea, this skill – the ability to look outside yourself and understand that even though you're starring in your own movie, you're the extra in everyone else's story

While it's developmentally appropriate for our teens to be self-centered and overly self-conscious and self-focused, it's NOT developmentally appropriate for the grown-ups in the room.

And that means, as we navigate the craziness, and to be blunt, the heartache that is 2020, from COVID to social justice upheavals to a contentious election, I want to encourage everyone to take a step back to appreciate the sonder. To ponder the sonder.

I need that reminder myself.

THE BEAUTIFUL EFFECT OF LIVING IN SONDER

Viewing the world from a place of sonder makes it so much easier to have grace for so many. Teachers and counselors and administrators who are working to teach students in challenging circumstances. Parents who are afraid and want what's best for their kids. People who are oppressed and feel beaten down and tired. Men and women who put their lives on the line every day for the safety of our communities. Those who are working in every nook and cranny of our government, trying to steer this messy, beautiful country of ours.

I know that we're all weary of the constraints that have been placed on our lives. It's SO uncomfortable to stay in this place of uncertainty, indefinitely. For the world to be operating differently than we're used to. To fight the battle AGAINST fear and worry and FOR hope and patience every day.

That's why I'm so in love with sonder. Because it reminds me to get out of my own head and think about all the stories going on around me. To have grace with those whose stories brush up against mine.

I hope you can do the same.

BE RIGHT OR GET IT RIGHT?

Do you ever find yourself arguing with your teens over . . . nothing? Or maybe having the same kind of argument, over and over?

If that describes you, chances are, what those disagreements really about is one thing: being right.

Here's the thing: it is sooooo developmentally appropriate for teens to want to prove the adults in their lives wrong. And I don't know about you, but when someone is trying to call me out – especially my teenager! – my back goes up and start defending myself. Trying to prove that I'M right.

IT'S DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE FOR TEENS TO WANT TO BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME – BUT NOT FOR YOU

You might recognize your teen in some of the following descriptions because these are ways that developmental appropriateness manifests:

• Fighting perceived injustices
• Brutally calling out stuff that we, as adults, know to whisper
• Calling us out when our words don't match our actions

If we want to connect with teens, we have to meet them where they are, which means we have to be fully developed adults. And fully developed adults aren't as concerned with BEING right as they are GETTING IT right.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING RIGHT AND GETTING IT RIGHT

Here's the difference:

Needing to BE right:

Creates feelings of shame when you make a mistake or are "wrong"

Flips you into fight-flight-freeze when you're accused of being wrong and tries to shut down the other party

Takes personal offense when accused of being wrong

Motivates you to defend yourself, your ideas, your actions, etc.

Affects your identity when you are "wrong"

Wanting to GET IT right:

Shifts your perspective to view mistakes as learning opportunities

Opens you to having your thoughts and ideas challenged

Enables you to listen to and fairly evaluate other points of view

Asks questions when you're challenged, so you can better understand the other person's ideas, thoughts, and opinions

Separates your actions, thoughts, and ideas from your core identity

Recognizes the developmentally appropriate methods teens use to challenge us and responds to the ideas vs. the delivery

TRUTHS REVEALED

When we dig a little deeper into the need to BE right, it can reveal some surprising truths about what's going on underneath the surface. That need can be the manifestation of insecurity. Of wanting to people-please and have others think highly of you. Of a blind spot you may have.

Shifting your mindset to GET IT right gives you freedom. From shame. From the stress of perfectionism. Freedom to ask for help and guidance when there's something you don't know or understand.

But How do you make that shift? Here are some strategies I've used:

Use The Thought Model

The Thought Model will help you examine your thinking around being right.

Unintentional Thought Model

Circumstance – Someone pointed out I made a mistake/ got something wrong

Thought – when I'm wrong, people think less of me, don't respect me

Feeling - shame

Action – I lash out at my "accuser" in a personal way

Result - Connection is broken and the relationship is damaged

Intentional Thought Model

Circumstance - Someone pointed out I made a mistake/ got something wrong

Thought – I can learn something here

Feeling – curiosity

Action – I ask questions to get more information and clarity

Result – Connection is built, the relationship is strengthened

Practice getting it wrong

Visualize how you want to handle it when you get it wrong. Imagining those steps might look like:

Taking a deep breath.

Asking a question for clarity.

Agreeing with your accuser.

Apologizing, if necessary.

Journal to retrain your brain

Affirmations can feel cheesy – like Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live.

BUT – the truth is that repetition can retrain your brain.

Write down statements as if they're already true

Write them EVERY DAY

Example: I'm comfortable and at ease when I get something wrong because that means I'm learning and growing.

Using any one of these three strategies is going to bring you closer to your teens (really, closer in ALL your relationships) and will foster an atmosphere that encourages risk-taking and growth. When you normalize failure, getting something wrong, and making mistakes, you're giving everyone around you the permission to do the same.

IS YOUR CLASSROOM A PERFORMANCE OR AN EXPERIENCE?

By now, many of you have already kicked off the school year in your classrooms.

And if you're like me, one of the challenges you face every day is keeping your students engaged. I can vividly remember my first year of teaching – when I went home exhausted every. night. It took some time and some direction from more experienced teachers for me to realize I didn't have to carry all the weight in the classroom.

And if you get nothing else from our chat today, I want you to hear me on this: if you try to tap-dance and perform, you'll wear yourself out. Quickly.

WHAT KIND OF CLASSROOM DO YOU WANT TO CREATE?

Ask yourself what kind of classroom you want – an entertainment solo with an audience? Or an interactive, engaging experience? Maybe a better way to ask that question is this: when you are the student in a learning environment, which way do you learn the most? When you're an observer? Or an active participant?

We all know the answer to that. Hint: It's the active participant thing! Hands down.

THE 4 KEYS TO CREATING A CAPTIVATING CLASSROOM

If you want your students to be engaged participants, there are 4 important keys to creating that kind of captivating classroom

Create Connection

Use all your tools – your voice (volume, speed, tone, hi/low).

Be authentic – share who you are (appropriately!)

Be Consistent

Show up relentlessly.

Follow through, follow through, follow through!

Every interaction is an opportunity to build trust or break it.

Build Collaboration

Shift responsibility to students – presentations, group work, Socratic discussions.

Ideas to involve them every day: Be open to opportunities to learn from students.

Embrace the messiness.

Be willing to suck at it first, and to practice, practice, practice.

Communicate Clearly

Know your audience – what's the developmentally appropriate attention span of your aged students?

Use short, simple directions.

Use multiple modalities - email, website/platform, displayed in the classroom, paper notes, videos, audio messages, smoke signals.

Enforce it – you teach them how to respond to you.

SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

If you want a captivating classroom you need a mix of all these ingredients: connection, consistency, collaboration, and clarity. When you have these, you're setting yourself – and your students – up for an interactive, engaging learning experience.

One where you have enough time to go home and binge-watch your favorite show at the end of the day. While grading papers, of course.

If If you're feeling uncertain and overwhelmed or a little behind in setting up your classroom, be sure to check out the Start Strong in the Middle Checklist!

TEACHING FROM THE INSIDE OUT

The year ahead looks very different for everyone, from how educators are teaching to how students are attending school. In times of change, uncertainty, overwhelm, and fear tend to be the default – because we're only human.

YOUR TEACHING ENERGY MATTERS

Are those kinds of thoughts ones that serve you?

Because if you've ever stood in front of kids, you know your energy matters in any kind of classroom

So the question is, when is your energy certain, calm, and confident?

In the last episode, I talked about designing an ecosystem for yourself – the external side of cultivating that kind of energy.

The Internal Affairs of Teaching

Today, I'm going to talk about the internals – because teaching happens from the inside out. And while "fake it til you make it" might work for a while, that kind of effort is exhausting, and let's be real. Kids and dogs are pros at sniffing out a faker.

So, how do you create an internal sense of certainty, calm, and confidence? Because whether you're instructing students face-to-face or virtually, your energy MATTERS.

CULTIVATE YOUR TEACHING ENERGY You Do You (Be yourself!)

Know Your Personality – what are your challenges? Your strengths? * You can check out links to personality tests in the Referenced in this Episode section below*

Know Your Triggers – what sends you into fight-flight-or-freeze mode, especially when you are teaching?

Know Your Learning Style – how do you best learn? How does that influence your instruction?

Beware of Bias – are you teachable? Are you open to recognizing any blind spots you have when it comes to different areas of bias? *Check out the Referenced in this Episode Section below for links to bias self-evaluations*

Define your Deeper Purpose

Why are you here? Why did you choose teaching?

What's the one thing you want students to walk away with at the end of the year?

How do you want them to FEEL in your classroom?

Master your Mindset

Do you have a growth or a fixed mindset?

Is learning a two-way street in your classroom? Are you not only teaching but also being taught?

There's no losing, only learning.

Can this be a "no pressure" year for you? Can you take advantage of no state testing this year (if that applies to you)?

Schedule Self-Care

Schedule, schedule, schedule – put it on your calendar

Be mindful in the little things (tea, a good book, a walk)

Be intentional about feeling all your feels and processing them outside your classroom

Set work boundaries - no more 7-day work weeks

Ironing all these out will create the kind of energy you want your students to "catch" from you. When kids feel your certainty and calm, they'll be able to relax – subconsciously – and get about the business of learning.

FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE

Reach out for help.

Have tons of grace for yourself – when you can share that with kids, it gives them permission too.

A DIFFERENT ECOSYSTEM

School is quickly approaching, and everyone I know is prepping for the year to start. I've been thinking a lot about how different the school ecosystem is going to look for everyone: teachers, students, and parents.

Right now, during the COVID crisis, it seems like uncertainty, overwhelm, fear are our defaults. But when it comes to teachers standing in front of their students, energy matters in any kind of classroom.

My question is this: when is your energy certain, calm, and confident? When you can have that kind of energy, it's going to positively affect your classroom.

There are a ton of different factors that impact what kind of energy you have, but for now, I'm going to talk about the externals.

WHAT KIND OF ECOSYSTEM HAVE YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF?

For me, I know when I've set up my ecosystem to support me, I'm much more likely to have a calm, confident energy. I use the word ecosystem because environment isn't expansive enough to cover what I'm talking about. Environment is part of it, but so are things like your systems, your expectations, your schedule and routine.

WHERE TO FOCUS

Here are four different areas you can focus on, so that your ecosystem generates an energy of certainty, calm, and confidence.

Organize your environment

• This will look different for everyone – and that's great for students
• Seating arrangement
• Décor/bulletin boards/etc.
• Supplies

Create expectations

• Behavior expectations
• Positive/negative consequences
• Student jobs/roles – adjust for virtual vs. face to face
  • Involvement can = buy-in
  • Attendance
  • Passing out papers
  • Timekeeper

Decide on Systems

• Turning in work
• Grading
• Returning work
• Responding to school's internal expectations
• Managing paperwork
• Managing systems

Construct a Schedule

• If you fail to plan, you plan to fail
• Create your schedule & stick to it
• Confidence = keeping your word to yourself
• Gamify things
• Takes a while but will eventually become automated

Environment, Expectations, Systems, and Schedule – if you can set yourself up in each of these areas (your ecosystem) you will show up with your students confident and ready to roll.

FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE

Your confidence is important because that energy translates to your students subconsciously. Your low-level anxiety = theirs.

Don't re-create the wheel – talk to colleagues, see what works for them, and adapt their ideas to what works for you.

Creating your ecosystem is going to take some time and careful thought, especially if you're new.

Reach out for help!