In Therapy with Alex Howard

If you've been following Hayley's journey in recent months, you'll no doubt have resonated with some of the feelings and experiences that Hayley shared. This week, I explore some of the key themes from Hayley's journey (I also answer some of your questions) and invite you to reflect more deeply on some of these themes, as well as learn some ways to work with them more directly.

This week, I talk a little bit about how In Therapy first started, how we find our participants and what sort of process people go through to be selected for the series.

Hayley and I catch up after a two-month break for her "final" session. Hayley reflects on her therapeutic journey, specifically what she's learnt about herself and how her relationships have changed. We also discuss the next steps Hayley will take to ensure she keeps moving forward in her healing journey.

Is it ever too late for a clean slate? Often, the stories we tell ourselves stem from childhood and, although they might have served us at the time, they aren't always suitable for life as an adult. In this week's session, Hayley and I explore whether it's possible to rewrite our story.

When we've experienced traumas in childhood, the conclusion that we often draw is that we must have been weak; but often the opposite is true. The very fact that we survived the experience, and managed to develop the coping strategies to function in the world, is a sign of how strong we are. Unlocking and owning this strength is often the key to building our future the way we want it.

The foundations of how we relate to ourselves and those around us is almost entirely established in childhood. In this week's session, Hayley and I begin to explore how she was related to as a child, and what effect this has had on her life. Ultimately, to heal the traumas of the past, we need to listen that younger us, and give them the boundaries, safety and love that they needed.

A common misconception is that anger is a "bad" emotion. But in its purest form, anger is our life force energy rising up and standing up for our boundaries, along with the power behind us stepping forward for the things that matter most to us in life. We need our anger and to unlock its potential for living our best life. This is just some of what Hayley and I get into in this week's episode…

One of the challenges when we've experienced trauma is that we learn to focus on what is wrong about ourselves and the world around us. As a result, we not only ignore only our inherent sense of goodness, but also our achievements and accomplishments in life. By shifting our focus to celebrate and embody the best of ourselves, we are learning to invite more of this into our lives.

So much of our energy in life goes into what other people think about us. But, we can never know what people truly think, and ultimately it doesn't matter. What matters is what we think of ourselves. In this week's episode, Alex and Hayley work on cultivating an accurate and loving self-image.

One of the impacts of childhood trauma is that we can feel overly merged with and responsible for those around us. Creating healthy boundaries is a critical step towards liberating ourselves from the past and creating life on our own terms. This is some of what Hayley and I get into in this week's episode...