This conversation between NPR's Ailsa Chang and actor Brandon Kyle Goodman looks at authentic relationships and the performance of queerness. Goodman is Black, non-binary, and grew up in a religious household. Among humorous stories of love – and self-love – their new book You Gotta Be You: How to Embrace This Messy Life and Step Into Who You Really Are touches on dating, white privilege, and dating those with white privilege. Goodman's origin story helps readers understand what it means to fully love oneself.

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