INANE

Warhol always said we'd get 15 minutes of fame, but now we have social media and shame's the game. Other topics include Colin Powell and click-bait headlines, how INANE can be used to sooth infants, why MLB needs to change their playoff format to seeded teams, why we love tv shows that include characters we love to hate, why phone numbers are no longer burned into our memory, a social experiment using a special custom ringtone, and the power of three simple words: I Love You.

I’m all for kids being kids, but these TikTok challenges have gotten out of control. Eating TidePods is one thing, even licking toilet seats - but the Slap Your Teacher Challenge is next level and needs to be stopped. Other topics include: Captain Kirk’s successful trip to space, getting to see the oil spill off of our coast first hand, inadvertently interrupting your friends during a sporting event, Superman’s bi-sexual son, the downfall of Jon Gruden, the imminent downfall of Kyrie Irving, and why sharing a name with Christopher Columbus must be a living hell.

Facebook had one hell of a bad week, and for one day the internet was a better place. This week’s topics include the truth behind Facebook’s algorithm and how Zuckerberg has become a modern day James Cagney, the oil spill crisis happening right off of my coast and affecting one of my favorite bike paths, Captain Kirk’s plans to actually travel to space, why I’m so horrible at economics, how being a photographer in college affected the rest of my life, the single worst dating profile in history, Owen Wilson’s nose, Casey DeSantis’ battle with breast cancer, a marriage proposal that ended in disaster, why I stopped sharing Slate’s advice column, and the importance of reading the news instead of watching it.

After purchasing Roadrunner - the Bourdain documentary - and watching it carefully, I have a better understanding of who Tony was, and what drove him to the finish line. Sad as it is, it serves as a parable for why we need to find happiness in our lives and embrace it when it happens. Other discussions include The Irishman and our obsession with the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, video examples from the iPhone 13 Pro, Oscar contending documentaries for the Fall, a crazy story about a real life incident at haunted house attraction, how much I miss scaring neighborhood kids at Halloween, Facebook shelving Instagram for Kids, and the war between Google and NBC.

This week’s episode is about hope versus reality. We want things to be a certain way. More more often than not, they’re something else. We prefer to see some things through rose colored glasses. Other topics include: NFL Sunday, the sad story of Gabby Petito and how social media has clouded our vision of real life, the Canadian election results, more Norm Macdonald memories, what Cinematic Mode on the new iPhone 13 actually looks like, people who use auto-pilot mode on their Tesla the wrong way, the single worst radio voice in the history of radio, why watching Clint Eastwood get old sucks worse than actually getting old, and more anti-vaxxer stories.

I’ve never understood the desire to book a cruise and spend two weeks on a giant ship with strangers. Something almost always goes wrong. This week, I share a horrifying experience one of my neighbors recently had. To say it was a near death experience would be an understatement. Other discussions include the passing of Norm Macdonald, Week 1 of the NFL, the best round of golf in my life, Apple’s lackluster iPhone event, an embarrassing conversation I recently overheard at a local grocery store, the bacon craze and how these crazy diets cause a lot of health problems, and the craziness of the Met Gala.

Topics include: Bee stings on the bike, Roadrunner DVD release date, cooking from instinct rather than recipes, 20th anniversary of 9/11 and how Bin Laden got off light, the return of football season and why I hate Super Bowl parties, a disgusting story involving a toilet, MTV’s Catfish, my recipe for marinated cannellini beans with Belgian endives.

Whether it’s people who overdo it with plastic surgery, or someone who spent their 15 minutes of fame when they were twelve months old, it’s sad to see people desperate for attention. Topics also include Pfizer’s approval from the FDA, a breast milk thief, how COVID changed the landscape of fine dining, the underutilization of scent dogs, the OnlyFans saga, and how reaching out to help a friend has brought clarity and peace into my life.

Extremism is poison. It’s the one thing that divides us all. When people start taking an all-or-nothing approach to just about everything, we end up with nothing. Also in this episode: The trial of Barry the Police Dog, Jack Morris and his lame attempt at impersonating Elmer Fudd, Modern Love on Amazon Prime, how a 7 year old’s white lie caused her parents divorce, childbirth and tales from the photofinishing business, why news is always bad, and my adventures in writing.

For all of you who are married, thank your lucky stars. Dating sucks. This week, I share some of my friend’s horror stories, along with a few of my own from 8 years ago. Being single was fun when we were all in our 20’s and 30’s, but it truly isn’t now. Dating apps are an abomination. Other topics include Governor Cuomo’s resignation speech and subsequent half apology, people watching at the mall, how a community meet and greet with the local police turned to violence when a dog from the K9 unit attacked a 5 year old boy, and why horrible neighbors deserve the karma that eventually comes to them.