In the episode Georgie & Engrid are discussing all things Inner Critic. We all have those judgemental voices (that are really just trying to protect us) that show up. The gals share their biggest inner critic stories, what the narratives sound like (usually mean) and ways the inner critic shows up in our lives (perfectionism anyone?). And of course they dive into where these stories came from in the first place. They ponder the question:

What does it look like to give the critical parts of yourself loving attention, instead of trying to ignore them?

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IN THIS EPISODE:

• What is an inner critic? The judgemental voice that tries to protect us
• Ways the inner critic shows up: Self sabotaging, perfectionism, people pleasing, workaholism, high-performance

What language does it use? (To Self and to Others)

• Fear
• Shame
• Judgment
• Doubt
• Self-Righteous
• Black and White Thinking
• Worry
• Catastrophizing
• Blaming
• Belittling
• High Expectations
• Pressuring

Calling a "family meeting" of all the different parts of yourself

The gals share what their inner critics sound like?

Engrid: (Biggest inner critic stories)

• Good things don't last for you.
• Feeling good is a short lived experience, you can only have that in small doses.
• Life is hard. You have to work hard for and earn your place in the world.
• You have to suffer in order to earn what you want.
• You can't fully be yourself, you have to adapt to others to be likeable / accepted.
• Making others feel comfortable is more important than making yourself feel comfortable / at ease.

Often shows up like:

• I can switch very quickly switch to being very controlling when I feel like my needs aren't being met/respected
• Recreating circumstances that reinforce these beliefs
• No one will listen to me unless I'm angry
• Hypervigilance / hyper-sensitive & aware of other people
• Waiting for the other shoe to drop when I am feeling really good.
• Seeking affirmation from people I work with (did I do enough for you? Did I do a good job?)

Georgie: (Biggest inner critic stories)

• You're not as good as you think you are
• no one actually likes you
• You'll never be as successful as you dream of

Often sounds like:

• "You're not that talented (with photography) one of these days you're going to ruin someone's shoot"
• "You'll never be as good as XYZ"
• "They probably don't really like you, they're just being nice"
• "They're just saying that to be nice, they don't really mean it" (Compliments/praise)

ENNEAGRAM:

1. "I am good or okay if I do what is right"
2. "I am good or okay if I am accepted and loved by others"

"I am good or okay if others think well of me, and I'm successful"

• "I am good or okay if I am true to myself" (inner battle under stress: wanting to fit in vs. showing everyone how unique you are)

"I am good or okay if I master something."

1. "I am good or okay if I know what is expected of me."
2. "I am good or okay if I get what I need."
3. "I am good or okay if I can impose my will and be strong and just."
4. "I am good or OK if everyone around me is right or OK."

When do Inner Critic's get the loudest?

Positive:

• In uncharted territory
• During times of growth and break through (they're the emergency break)
• Shining "too" bright

Uncomfortable:

• Awkward moments
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Failure

The gals share phases of life & experiences that brought about these critical narratives

How can we invite our inner critics to the table?

I used to think I had to "tune the negative voices out"

Now I realize that they're trying to get my attention

What does it look like to give the critical parts of yourself loving attention?