Inside Job

As the year comes to a close, we're taking a deliberate moment to declare victory and celebrate the wins of 2020. Yes, the year has been difficult, "unprecedented" and full of hardship, and yet, we know that each of us can find at least one thing to celebrate, no matter how small.

It's so easy to overlook, minimize or simply forget the wins we create. Most of us lack good habits around celebrating ourselves, and our biology is designed otherwise. After all, as Rick Hanson says, our brains are like Velcro for negative experiences, and Teflon for positive ones!

We're not talking about silver linings, the "at least" statements we often fall to, but honest-to-goodness wins – things that went well, plans that we saw come to fruition, simple pleasures we generated for ourselves (learning to cook something new, reconnecting with an old friend, making time for a personal project we've delayed…) and the big tasks we took on despite the changes to how we live our daily lives (finishing school, getting professional mental health help, developing an exercise routine.)

We believe in the power of noticing and celebrating the victories in our lives, and in practicing that routinely.

To hear how others are celebrating their victories, we partnered with Daily Haloha (an app that connects people around the world through responses to thought provoking questions every day) to ask participants to weigh in: "A win I had in 2020 was_____".

We received 1100 replies from around the world, ranging from the simple: "I learned to cut my own hair" to the deeply profound "I finally dealt with my depression and got professional help".

In this week's episode, we explore the responses to that question, and offer ideas of how to build a celebration practice of your own.

Also, this week, we celebrate our 40th episode of Inside Job, and crossing the threshold of 10K downloads. Join us on Instagram where we're hosting our first giveaway, to celebrate!!

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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Call it the internal saboteur, the gremlins, the inner critic, or as the great Anne Lamott calls it – KFKD, all of us have heard the internal voice of doubt, fear and discouragement that stops us from the pursuit of the thing we want. This voice keeps us small and still, and often tricks us because it proports to tell us the truth and keep us safe.

As always, we start with the inside job of noticing that the voice exists in the first place, and that while it shows up as evidence- based, it doesn't have your best interests at heart.

How we start to notice the inner critic and what do we do?

Sometimes the inner critic is revealed to us in language, often with the word "but":

• I would love to go for that job, but I don't think I have the right experience.
• I would love to go for that business idea, but I love the steadiness of my current paycheck.
• I really want to try that sport, but it would be too expensive to start.

We also have to develop the sophistication and discernment to know how sneaky the inner critic can be. Sometimes the inner critic is loud and black and white, sometimes the voice is delicate in its deception – we offer examples of both.

We talk about how personifying – giving a visual identify or even a name to our inner critic – can help us relate to his or her voice differently, reminding it that we can handle whatever we're facing. It also can spare us from wasting energy "crushing" the inner critic, so that we have the energy to chase what matters.

Finally, invite our listeners to dial down the voice of the inner critic in favor of the other voices we have internally, whether it's our inner voice of wisdom, our personal board of directors, or our future selves.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

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If we're human, we're going to have the experience of things not going as we'd planned. We did the preparation, we put in the effort, practiced and still… disappointment.

Eric and Nayla share their own disappointments in an unproductive day of recording this very podcast, and how they noticed the spiral of normal reactions immediately afterwards.

A natural instinct might be to catastrophize and personalize the circumstances to signal an unmitigated, irreversible disaster, thinking to ourselves: I can't be trusted… No one will ever hire me…something is terribly wrong with my candidacy, or worse, with me!! Part of the Inside Job is to explore the question: What Am I Making This Mean? How likely is that? What else could possibly be true?

We offer that the opportunity to turn our disappointments into learning experiences shouldn't be missed. What really happened? What would we do differently next time? What did go well? Are there messages we have to understand and integrate from this event? (Also, these setbacks are evidence if the leaders and organizations that say things like "We celebrate failures as a source of learning" really mean it, or are blowing smoke.)

Next, we propose, ask yourself: how much does this still matter to me? Do I still want the thing that didn't work out? Do I have the energy to dig deep and try again? What would it take to keep going?

Finally, we talk about the opportunity to show ourselves goodness and compassion, to treat ourselves as a beloved member of our families, rather than resorting always to working harder and faster to make things right.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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Most of our clients come to us asking: Can you help me figure out what I want?

Our position: we can help YOU explore and express what you want – the answer to that question resides in you.

Yet, we have a ton of empathy for all the reasons this question is so common: we have all internalized messages about what we can or can't have because of the other commitments in our lives, have ideas of what is or is not available to us, or have restricted views about 'how' the things we love could be part of our work.

Nayla introduces the continuum of Should/Could/Want and Must, (and that Want is the most expansive and creative of these options). Want comes from a place of desire and energy, the sustenance we call on to keep moving forward in our search for what's right for us.

Eric introduces how our internal saboteurs (the internal voices and reasons that block us from articulating and going after what we want) can wreak havoc on our emotions and must be explored and often set aside if we want to move forward.

We believe that your life is the primary source of information about what you want; chances are you are already devoting time to the things you want in your spare time and with your discretionary attention. We offer some tips about how to excavate your own life to find clues that point you towards your true wants. The search for your true career (and life) desires is a process that requires patience. And, it is a process that we can bring other people into as we design and pursue the personal research questions that get us closer and closer to expressing what we want.

Finally, we believe that our wants are fluid and evolve as we grow, so learning to be open to the process of seeking is the surest way to continue to explore the question: what do you want?

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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What's really going to change on January 1, 2021? The hype around the fresh start of a new year can have the side effect of letting us wait to take action until the calendar turns over – we think there's a better way.

If you're looking for a better outcome in any domain in your life, don't wait for an outside marker of a new start (new year, birthday, new semester). We suggest you start with small steps, now.

Sometimes we act our way into new ways of thinking, rather than waiting until our beliefs or thinking is different. Sometimes the "just do it" advice makes sense! There are lot of popular messages about gathering just a few moments of energy or courage to propel us into action (the movies We are the Millers, We Bought A Zoo and Mel Robbin's work offer a few variations on the theme) – our experience is that sometimes this idea works as an alternative to over-thinking or over-planning.

Aligning your action – even small actions – with purpose and focus offers an antidote to thoughtless and frenzied action, making sure you're working on something that matters to you and is likely to bring you closer to your goals. And the key word is 'closer'.

We also talk through how to combat the instinct to 'get it right' by considering learning rather than perfect outcomes, knowing that even our imperfect actions can serve as practice rounds to get better at whatever we're trying to take on. Finally, we offer the ideas of declaring your intentions out loud as a form of instant energy, and doing the post-action debrief to sort out how things went, and what could come next.

Starting now has the wonderful effect of building momentum in the areas of our life where we want to create change. As the great Dolly Parton says: Energy begets energy.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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In this episode, we take on the expert advice around time management and the sacredness of daily routines. Admittedly, this is an area where we are drowning in knowledge but short on wisdom.

We know that this time of year store aisles are filled with yearly planners, organizers, habit trackers, and the like. For those of us feeling a little disorganized and overwhelmed it can be tempting to believe the answer lies in somebody else's "tried and true" approach. The reality is that what works for one person rarely works for everybody else, and that's ok. The point is to find what works for you.

We talk about the pros and cons of routines, and the struggles we have with rigidity and the implied need for perfectionism. We compare and contrast daily vs. weekly routines, and share thoughts on breaking days into segments instead of minutes.

We also revisit the importance of knowing your values and your non-negotiables, and using them to define what a successful day (or week) looks like. Recognize that your values will be different than others, and those differences can lead to unique approaches for time management.

And like always, we discuss the need to be gentle with yourselves and hold yourself with grace. It's not failure if you can't live up to other people's processes. Find what works for you and be okay working your own style on your own schedule, with consciousness and discipline. As long as the results are there and you don't step on organizational norms or break bones in the process then you're probably doing something right.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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How many of us have been told to "tone it down" at work? How many of us have bought into the old cliché that, "the consummate professional is cool, measured, calm, and reserved."

We call B.S.

At the Inside Job Podcast we believe that emotions are important signals and that we can be trusted to learn to use them well. Emotions can lead individuals, and their organizations, to be more human and more effective. The work that needs to be done is to learn how to notice one's emotions, regulate the natural reaction/response mechanism, and make a wise choice about how to use emotions in the most productive way.

Rarely will that ever involve a throat punch, to Eric's dismay.

Nayla highlights the dangers of suppressing our emotions and dehumanizing ourselves at work (plus, all that suppression is exhausting!). Instead, we need to learn how to understand what we're feeling – and why – and choose to dial up and dial down our emotional responses to match the moment.

Eric talks about how the philosophies of Stoicism and Mindfulness are misunderstood and misapplied. Rather than using these tools to disguise or eliminate emotions, we talk about how to use them to recognize what's triggering our emotions and make conscious choices about how to respond, regulate and react.

We believe that we are at our best as humans when we embrace all of the richness and complexities or our existence – including our emotions. Feelings are going to happen and they're incredible sources of information. The key is to learn how to manage and use your emotions, rather than letting them use you – which is at the heart of the Inside Job.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

Have you received the gift of feedback? Eric and Nayla are big believers in the power of feedback to help us understand how we're perceived by others, what we're doing well, and what we can do differently at work. This week, in line with our November theme, we're exploring how we get better at trusting ourselves to make sense of feedback that comes our way.

First, we offer that we must trust ourselves to think feedback through before reacting or responding. It is not a fact that every piece of feedback we get is accurate, or truthful, or must be acted upon. It's our responsibility to pause, breathe and reflect on the messages we get about our performance before we dive into action.

Eric suggests that processing the internal feedback about our performance can be as useful as processing the external feedback we get from others. Listening to our own body's cues is one way to do this.

We offer suggestions about looking for patterns and trends in feedback, using the idea of 'resonance' to explore whether feedback lines up with our self-knowledge or other things we've heard. Is this comment in line with what we know to be true for us? Does it reveal a blind spot? Or might it tell us something about the other party's agenda?

This helps us decide how to filter and make choices about our 'personal curriculum' as Nayla calls it – we can only focus so much attention on so many things at once – what are you choosing to pay attention to, learn from and take action on?

We offer a pathway of how to express appreciation for feedback, think it through (alone or with others), and decide (trust yourself!) how to move forward.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

November's podcast theme is how we learn to trust ourselves more than the "experts". In this week's episode we introduce the topic of "expert" advice and talk about why we are so drawn to their voices – often unreasonably so.

We talk about why we listen to what they have to say, and why it's hard to make sense of all of the external voices. Nayla asks us to remember that it is the full time job of most experts to advocate for, and perpetuate, a particular state of life, and that it can be enough to pull a few ideas that work to meet our deepest needs. Eric highlights why it's both normal and dangerous for us to curate the voices of many to create a standard for ourselves that is impossible to attain.

The point we arrive at is that each of us the expert of our own lives. It's important to dig deep internally and do what's right for you. Pick one place to start. Choose what works for you. And most importantly, listen to the internal voices telling you what you really need more than the external voices telling you what you should need.

And true to form we mock what the Dalai Lama would be like as a father and highlight the advice of Matt Damon's character in the movie, "The Martian". Oh and Eric sings. Which he should never be allowed to do in public again. Ever.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.

Welcome to the collective exhaustion. The biggest cliché of our time is how hard 2020 has been. And yet, that cliché turns out to be true.

How many times have we said: all things considered, we're fine!! This week, Nayla and Eric are done pretending it's all fine.

Sometimes, we just need to vent. Let it out. (We sure do, for nearly ten minutes).

Then, we start to explore some ideas to move ourselves forward.

• We talk about taking one step or action at a time. Maybe it's a walk outside, defrosting the chicken for dinner, or tackling a quick task from a tall pile to create just a little bit of momentum.
• We also talk about how important it is to celebrate even small victories. A virtual high five, an extra few minutes outside, (or a handful of Pringles for Eric) can all bring more light to the hard days.
• Finally we talk about how important human connection is these days – perhaps more than ever. The work may be personal, as Parker Palmer says, but it doesn't have to be private.

Inside Job is brought to you by Nayla Bahri and Eric Johnson.

To learn more about us and our work, visit www.insidejobthepodcast.com or email us at [email protected].

To learn more about the ideas and resources discussed in this episode, check out our show notes.

Let's connect!

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We'd love to hear from you.