When you think about why self-care is hard, what comes to mind? Maybe not enough time, or feeling guilty, or just forgetting until you’re completely burned out. The dominant story says: if you can’t manage your self-care, you’re not disciplined enough. You’re not resilient enough. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this work.

But here’s the twist: what if these struggles aren’t actually personal failings at all? What if they’re the result of how we’ve been socialized — shaped by gender expectations and professional norms — in ways that make self-care feel unnatural, even wrong?  This really important point, and how we can counter it, is what we are diving into in this episode.

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #5: Self-care challenges are shaped by gender and professional socialization – NOT personal failings!
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: It turns self-care into a moral failing, so then we blame ourselves for struggling.
• The new view: Gender norms and professional socialization are powerful forces working against our self-care.  When we recognize this we can release the shame and reclaim our agency.
• Self-care experiments:
  • Name the script
  • Flip the praise
  • Try a micro-boundary experiment

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 5: You are a human being, not a human giver: 3 ways the self-care game is rigged for women and how you can fight back
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

How many times have you said — or thought — ‘I’d love to take better care of myself, but I just don’t have the time’? Or, ‘I’m way too tired.’ Or maybe, ‘I can’t afford it right now.’  These are probably the three biggest roadblocks therapists and other caring professionals name when it comes to self-care: time, energy, and money.  

And we get it — those are real constraints.  But here’s the thing: when we define self-care as something that requires extra time, energy, or money, we actually make it harder to sustain.  We set ourselves up for a cycle of guilt and avoidance.  So in this episode, we are here to convince you of a better way of dealing with these very real but ‘overcome-able’ constraints. 

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #4: Self-care doesn't have to cost a lot of time, energy, or money
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: We wait for 'perfect' conditions — which never occur — that instead make us feel like we are falling short
• The new view: Sustainable self-care happens by weaving it into our days
• Self-care experiments:
  • Anchor to what you already do
  • The one-minute reset
  • Reframe endings

Resources Mentioned:

• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

Here’s something that might surprise you:  some of the best self-care doesn’t feel good in the moment.  Think about it — how many times have you dreaded going for a run, having that hard conversation, or finally making the dentist appointment you’ve been putting off… only to feel so much lighter, clearer, and better afterward?

We often expect self-care to look easy and comforting, like bubble baths and spa days. But sometimes, self-care looks like sweating, crying, or facing something you’ve been avoiding. And if we expect it to feel good all the time, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment — and avoidance.  So stick with us, because in today’s episode we are going to convince you that the best self-care often doesn’t feel so good in the moment, but can have lasting positive effects.

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #3: Self-care can be uncomfortable (but worth it!)
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: We end up chasing quick and easy fixes, that don't actually sustain us, and instead deplete us in the long run
• The new view: Real self-care isn't always comfortable, but it is always worthwhile
• Self-care experiments:
  • Do the 'one thing' you've been avoiding
  • Practice micro-discomfort
  • Journal on discomfort

Resources Mentioned:

• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

When was the last time you said ‘no’ to someone? And we don’t mean a playful no, or a no with an apology attached, but a real, solid, unapologetic ‘no.’

If you’re anything like most therapists — especially women in our field — that question might make you squirm a little. Because somewhere along the way, we got the message that taking care of ourselves means we’re taking something away from someone else. That it’s indulgent. Or worse — selfish.

But what if we told you that choosing yourself isn’t selfish at all — it’s actually one of the most generous things you can do for others? That’s what we hope to convince you of in this episode.

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #2: Self-care is not selfish, and is not just about treating ourselves
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: Our worth becomes equated with how much we give to others, and how little we need
• The new view: Self-care is in fact stewardship, and resource management
• Self-care experiments:
  • Say no once
  • Protect one block of time
  • Challenge your definition of selfish

Resources Mentioned:

• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

If you’re a therapist who feels like self-care always comes last, you’re not alone. Most of us were trained—implicitly or explicitly—to treat our own needs as optional, something to squeeze in after clients, paperwork, and family demands. But what if that belief is exactly what’s draining your energy, your clarity, and even your ability to show up fully for the people you serve?

In today’s episode, we’re kicking off a new series that challenges outdated ideas about self-care and replaces them with essential upgrades. We’ll start with one of the most important shifts: recognizing that self-care isn’t extra—it’s part of the work. Because when we stop treating our well-being as optional, everything changes: our presence in sessions, our resilience, and the sustainability of our careers.

Episode Highlights:

• Self-care belief system upgrade #1: Self-care is part of our work
• Why the old view doesn't serve us: Self-care is seen as optional and exhaustion is normalized
• The new view: Self-care is a core professional competence and part of our deliverables
• Self-care experiments:
  • Create a reset/recovery ritual
  • Audit your schedule
  • Professional alignment reflection

Resources Mentioned:

• Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What if your to-do list isn’t the problem — but rather a quiet signal that one of your self-care pillars is out of balance? As therapists, we’re trained to notice these signs in others, but we often overlook the gentle nudges from within:  things like a creeping sense of resentment, a loss of joy, or a growing disconnection from the parts of ourselves that used to feel vibrant. As we kick off a new season of Putting You In Your Schedule, we’re inviting you to slow down with us and take stock — not with judgment, but with curiosity and compassion.

In this episode, we’ll walk you through a seasonal self-care check-in using our 4 C’s framework: Connection, Compassion, Courage, and Creativity. Whether or not you’ve used our self-care assessment tool before, we’ll help you pause to notice what’s working, what’s not, and where there’s room for small but meaningful shifts. Let’s begin this season with intention around the foundation that supports everything else — our own well-being.

Episode Highlights:

• A refresher on the 4 C's model
• The 4 C's self-care assessment
• Signs that we might need to pay attention to each of our 4 C's

Self-Care Experiments:

• Assess your self-care needs in this specific season
• Share your self-care assessment with a trusted colleague or loved one
• Take some baby steps

Resources Mentioned:

• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What if the real secret to sustainable self-care isn’t about working harder—or even trying to be “better”—but simply about noticing, connecting, and giving yourself permission to take small, imperfect steps? In today’s episode, we’re taking a second look at the many self-care experiments we’ve shared throughout the year to reveal a refreshingly doable framework that can support you, not just in theory, but in real life.

As we wrap up the season and head into summer, we’re reflecting on the common threads woven through our self-care experiments— and offering you a fresh way to approach your own self-care journey. Whether you’re just tuning in or have been with us all season, you’ll leave today’s episode with a clearer, kinder path forward—and a little extra inspiration to carry you into your next season. 

Episode Highlights:

• Round-up of self-care experiments shared throughout this season
• Themes in experiments
• Notice/monitor/observe (kindly and non-judgmentally!)
• Connect with colleagues
• Challenge unhelpful beliefs with permission and imperfect action

Self-Care Experiment:

• Use the Notice-Connect-Challenge framework

Resources Mentioned:

• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

Have you ever looked at your schedule and wondered why everyone else’s needs made the cut—but yours didn’t?  In this podcast episode, we’re exploring a question we hear all the time: Why can’t I actually put myself in my schedule?!  If you resonate with this question, know that you are not alone, and, that you are not doing anything wrong.  

Please stick around as we explore what contributes to this struggle of protecting the time we want to devote to our self-care.  And most importantly, we will be sharing three practical, intentional ways to support your self-care efforts—without adding more pressure or guilt. These are simple shifts that can help you hold space for yourself, just like you do for everyone else. Let’s talk about how to stop squeezing yourself out of your calendar and start making your needs a priority again.

Episode Highlights:

• Change is hard, even for therapists
• Impact of our beliefs
• Impact of life circumstances and readiness for change
• Remember that change is a process

Self-Care Experiments:  

• Use permission liberally
• Use scaffolding liberally
• Figure out what doesn’t work for you

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 2 on Toxic Time Messages 
• Episode 11 on Self-Care Sabotage
• Episode 12 on Personal Rights 
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

What does your typical day look like?  Does it include regularly occurring breaks or do you often find yourself constantly on the go?  If you’re like most of the female mental health therapists we’ve spoken with, most of your days probably feel like you’re going non-stop, both at work and at home.  And while there can admittedly be some sense of accomplishment that comes with fitting as many things from our never ending “to-do list” into our days, it comes at a cost.  

In today’s episode we’ll talk about the concepts of energy expenditure and energy recovery and three important ways that breaks can contribute to your self-care.  And, as always, we’ll wrap up the episode with some practical self-care experiments, because taking breaks is often much harder than it seems!  So if you’re in need of some justification for yourself, or others, about why we truly need breaks, then stay tuned.

Episode Highlights:

• The importance of both energy expenditure and energy recovery
• Work and rest are partners
• We can get better at rest
• 3 benefits of taking breaks

Self-Care Experiments:  

• Monitor your energy patterns
• Add in some breaks to your schedule
• Experiment with how you spend your breaks   

Resources Mentioned:

• 2021 study by the Microsoft Human Factors Lab
• Book:  The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz 
• Book:  Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang 
• Podcast:  Episode 258 of The Lazy Genius Podcast with Kendra Adachi, about the 7 different kinds of rest 
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.

Have your sessions with clients ever incorporated the topic of assertiveness and its related benefits?  If so, then you’re likely familiar with the “Personal Bill of Rights” and how eye opening this resource can be to clients, particularly those who’ve regularly either ignored their needs or put them well below those of others. The Personal Bill of Rights can offer our clients a different way of thinking about themselves which, in turn, can help them start shifting their actions in ways that align more so with their Personal Bill of Rights.  

But have you ever thought about how incorporating a Bill of Rights might actually support your self-care?  In today’s episode we take a look at three rights, in particular, that can be particularly powerful in supporting female mental health therapists’ self-care.  So if you’re interested in finding ways to use personal rights to support your self-care, this episode is for you! 

Episode Highlights:

• What is a Personal Bill of Rights
• 3 key rights for therapists:
  • I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time
  • I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect
  • I have the right to change my mind 

Self-Care Experiments:  

• Be an objective observer
• Embrace a right and act accordingly
• Imagine a female mental health therapist bill of rights      

Resources Mentioned:

• Kristin Neff's website:  https://self-compassion.org/
• Visit our website to get your own copy of our FREE 4 C's Self-Care Assessment:  https://www.intentionaltherapist.ca

Connect with Melissa & Karen at Intentional Therapist:
[email protected]
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmelissatiessen/

Share one of your own self-care experiments via our SpeakPipe page at: https://www.speakpipe.com/intentionaltherapist

Ready to upgrade your self-care? Check out the independent study version of our course, Thrivival Skills for Therapists, and earn 3 CE credits! Because self-care is PART OF our jobs! More info at: https://intentional-therapist.newzenler.com/courses/thrivival-skills-for-therapists-independent-study

Disclaimer: This podcast seeks to be educational in purpose and is not to be used as clinical advice. Please connect with a therapist one-on-one for personalized support.