Is Child-Free for Me?

Listen to our lively couples’ interview with George and Anne. This couple has chosen to remain anonymous for professional reasons so, their names have been changed to honor this request. George and Anne are in their mid to late 40’s and have been together for more than two decades. They seem to share a beautiful friendship and fulfilling partnership. They are both very loving, fun and open individuals who are honest about their feelings and how they came to their decision on children. However, children play a large role in their lives with them being heavily involved in their nieces and nephew’s lives. Hear how child and early adulthood experiences shaped their views on what they want for their marriage and life together.

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials.  

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees. 

Here’s our exciting interview with Tanya Williams, businesswoman, digital marketing expert and author of the #1 rated book, “A Child Free Happily Ever After.” Tanya comes to us all the way from Brisbane, Australia. She found our podcast through an internet search and decided to contact us to make a connection based on our mutual interest in the childfree discussion. Tanya’s energy is so uplifting as she takes us on her journey through riveting storytelling and how she has manages her own expectations, relationships and the judgment received from others.  

Her positive bent on everything woman-empowerment is also inspiring and a reminder of how we need to support one another versus scrutinize and judge. Tanya shares THE perfect comeback to anyone who asks why you’re not having kids. She had us in stitches with her unflinching take on how not having kids has been right for her but she remains affirming and positive toward others who choose more traditional routes. Her quote of “womanhood does not have to equal motherhood,” will likely resonate with many of you who are listening to this episode. We thank Tanya for her work, dedication and passion to bringing the discussion of not having children to the forefront. 

If you’d like to purchase Tanya’s book, you can search “A Child Free Happily Ever After,” on Amazon.com.

Please visit Tanya’s website:

https://childfreehappilyeverafter.com.au/

Tanya has also created a program for women who are undecided about having kids called Childfree Choices 

https://childfreehappilyeverafter.com.au/childfree-events/childfree-choices-program/

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials.  

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees. 

Listen to our second couples’ interview with Sarah and Michael. They heard of our podcast via Tammy (from a previous episode) who is founder of a kids-free meet up social group that they belong to. Sarah and Michael are both involved in pharmaceuticals with Sarah being a pharmacy tech supervisor at a hospital and Michael is a pharmacist. Sarah is currently shifting careers to become a radiology technician, is back in school and notes this change wouldn’t be possible if they had kids in their lives. Both of them are 31 and have been married for less than a year. Sarah and Michael are self-proclaimed “introverts” but felt compelled to participate in our podcast because the topic is of great interest to them. We appreciate their willingness to share their story with our listeners and us.

When asked what has led them to decide they don’t want kids, it seems there wasn’t any pivotal event that definitively led them to this conclusion but rather an internal feeling that became stronger over time. Some of the practicalities of raising kids such as the awesome responsibility, finances and change of life were also noted as deterrents for going this route. And, earlier on, negotiating dating and one’s stance on this matter was discussed and how it can be tricky bringing up this topic in one’s dating relationship. However, the importance of it needing to be addressed to assess the future of a relationship was outlined in how it evolved for them and the nerves involved in having this uncomfortable talk. “Baby fever” for both Michael and Sarah was noted and the impact these waves of wanting a baby ebb and flow in their lives. Michael hypothesized that if he and Sarah didn’t have such close and meaningful relationships with kids through family and close friends he might have decided to have his own children. It seems these outlets for having children in their lives has been enough to sustain them on that front while maintaining their need for independence and creating the life they want. 

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Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

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Beth Powers is a 32-year-old, married, designer and business owner. Jill and Beth first connected when she helped design Jill’s home. After their professional relationship ended, their connection continued on a personal level and they have since become good friends. Beth seems to have a Zen-like quality about her that instantly makes you feel at ease and comfortable. This must be one of the many reasons she is gifted at her job and able to manage the expectations of both spouses in what is often such an emotional process.

Beth describes her evolution from automatically thinking at age 22 that she’ll have kids to more doubt regarding the issue. Her story isn’t fully told as she is not completely sure of which way she will ultimately land on the child-free topic but believes she is more on the NOT side for now. She talks about the various aspects that give her pause regarding having kids and how her career demands a large amount of time and energy that she likes having. Her husband’s stance on not wanting to have children is probably what has given her time to question the issue instead of going with the flow of what’s expected. However, there are several variables that could change and could shift her focus as nothing is firmly decided. For now, it seems she is able to suspend the whole debate due to her age and that she has some biological flexibility to possibly keep both doors open.

Show note correction: We recorded this interview last summer, and since then, Beth has started a new design firm venture: Kopfer Taylor Interiors. This transition began after we recorded. She is no longer with Wheelhouse designs as she mentions in the interview. Check out her new website https://www.kopfertaylor.com

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Join us for our exciting first couples interview! This couple is fun, successful, worldly, intelligent and grounded. Theresa Wylie is a 38-year-old who works for a software company and she is married to 35-year-old Brian, who owns a software company. They have been married for 5 years and met on the dating website okcupid.com. When they completed their profiles on this site, one of their questions asked about their desire for kids. Both of them stated they didn’t want children. This particular question seemed to be grouped with other “deal breaker” questions. And, based on a mathematical algorithm, Brian and Theresa were deemed a match. Even though the “having kids” question alone wasn’t a determining factor in their match, it certainly played a role and helped to get that issue out-of-the-way before even meeting.

Theresa comes from a large, Catholic family where procreation is assumed after marriage. She noted her parents never gave her a hard time regarding not wanting kids but also don’t seem to fully understand her decision. Since her siblings have gone on to marry and have kids, there isn’t much family pressure on her to do the same.  Brian shared that at age 18, he started thinking he didn’t want kids but also knew he wasn’t developmentally in a place to fully know if that is where he would ultimately remain. However, with time, his stance never changed.  One of the main reasons Brian and Theresa gave for not having kids is accepting they enjoy their lives as is and don’t want to have it turned upside down with having kids.  Brian admitted to some squirminess when asked about the kid question but Theresa expressed having more confidence in her answering style. One day, they both hope to live abroad for some time and continue their adventures. They are both dedicated dog parents and get a lot of pleasure from their dog, Barkley. Brian and Theresa were absolutely adorable in how they showed off pictures of Barkley just as proud parents do. It was such a pleasure to interview this couple!

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Our interview with Rick Levinson, LCSW, is special for several reasons. Rick trained both of us in the therapeutic technique of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which is something that has highly influenced our therapy practices and reinvigorated our passion for our work. Another reason this interview is a standout is because Rick has been married for several decades and has a 32-year-old son. So, he doesn’t fit the typical guest profile but he is definitely an advocate for those who have chosen the child-free life.

His child-free beliefs come from his many years of work as a social worker and the themes he has gleaned from his professional experiences.  Rick, who is in his early 60’s, also reflects on his formative years and how child-free couples in his neighborhood were viewed and the impression that made on him. His take on this issue is one you have to hear! Rick is incredibly smart, well-spoken, thoughtful and direct in his message. You’ll leave this interview with the feel goods and perhaps more enlightened on the larger issues that result from this pivotal choice. 

If you would like to learn more about EMDR, please visit:

http://www.emdria.org/?page=emdr_therapy

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Our interview with Bill is filled with so many interesting twists and turns that you’ll be on the edge of your seat. He is a thoughtful individual who has formed his opinion on the topic after much time and consideration. Bill is a 50-year-old, single (once divorced), man who works for Star Flight as an EMT-P in Austin, Texas. He is our first male interviewee and his perspective certainly brings another angle to this hotly debated topic. There appears to be several differences related to how men and women are approached about this decision and what type and degree of judgment each experiences.

Bill discussed his marriage in his 20’s and how the issue of having children served as an impasse they had to navigate. Bill eventually became so sure of his decision that he elected to have a vasectomy. However, even after this definitive intervention, he continued to have some doubts about his choice. The on going questioning of this decision is something that seems to arise for many of our guests. 

Bill seems to have found a way to make children a meaningful part of his life. As a person who is fond of children but doesn’t want to have his own, Bill clearly conveys the importance children play in his life. He has taken time to foster real relationships with his friends’ kids and is fondly referred to as “Uncle Bill.” He enjoys being included in family occasions that celebrate these kids’ milestones but recognizes he can still return to his life that he enjoys with its freedoms and structure he prefers. It seems at midlife, Bill has been thinking more about his legacy and how he would like to contribute something meaningful towards future generations.

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Tammy is a 42-year-old, married woman who is a designer for a publishing company. We discovered Tammy through an on-line Meetup group she founded called “Childfree by Choice Couples.”  Since Tammy and her husband relocated from Florida to Austin, they were eager to meet other couples that have chosen to remain childfree, hence the creation of this group. At the time of our interview, Tammy reported 130 individuals had signed up for her Meetup group and they’ve held several successful events around the Austin area.

Tammy’s story mainly involves her realization of how much emotional and physical energy is involved in raising a child. This level of responsibility does not fit well with what she has envisioned for her life. Though she also references the term “selfish” in her description, it is slowly turning that language into “self-care” that seems to be the challenge. Aside from judgment from others, it seems that trying not to judge oneself is an on-going struggle for many.

To learn more about Tammy’s Meetup group and possibly join, please visit:

https://www.meetup.com/Childfree-by-Choice-Couples-Meetup/

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Take a listen to our interview with Sezin. She is a 38-year-old woman who describes herself as a “Wear Your Voice Magazine contributor, HuffPost blogger, feminist, artist, horror novelist, tattoo collector, Frida Kahlo devotee, Third Culture Kid, who lives in Lighthouse Point, Florida after a lifetime living abroad.”  Sezin is half Lithuanian-American and half Sri-Lankan and has been married to her husband for 11 years. Since she has lived abroad, she shares some interesting perspectives from around the world regarding our central question.  Sezin is well versed in environmental and political issues and what part that has played in her decision.

It seems Sezin has received aggressive scrutiny and criticism by strangers and acquaintances because she is vocal about her stance. You’ll hear how her experience contrasts with that of her husband’s and the double standard that is prevalent in our society. She is a real advocate for women who have decided their path and hopes others will also lend their support in furthering the effort to normalize this population.  Our guest is truly a Renaissance woman with smarts and a broad worldview that allow her to see things from a grander perspective. Her interview is full of interesting tidbits and facts that will have you hanging on her every word!

To learn more about Sezin Koehler, please visit her website at:

http://www.sezin.org

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.

Talk about getting to the point! Ha! Our Skype guest, Jul, is a 38-year-old, Asian-Indian, never married woman who works in the IT industry and is based in Manhattan. She grew up in Southern India and immigrated to the United States 10 years ago. Jul is fiercely independent and very open and unapologetic about her life decisions. This is especially noteworthy because of the traditional culture from which she hails. The intersection of culture and expectations are themes that weave their way throughout her story.

Jul’s frank way of stating her stance is refreshing. She seems to have not wavered at all in her choices and wishes others would see that she’s good with her life, as is. Her hope is that she will not be plagued by questions related to marriage, children and who will care for her in old age.

Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here!

Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter! 

Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or email us at [email protected]

Podcast Disclaimer:

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to be licensed mental health therapists in the state of Texas; yet, they clearly state the nature of the podcast is for entertainment, advocacy, support and information-sharing purposes and not to be used in lieu of personal mental health services. Neither host is acting in a professional capacity in this podcast and deems their role as interviewer/host being informal and not falling within the purview of activities related to their respective professional licenses. All interviewees are aware their information, identifying demographics and content will be made public and have participated on their own free will and without coercion or external influences.  All interviewees grant verbal consent to participate in this podcast.  The hosts own all contents, rights and materials. 

This podcast is available for public listening and may be shared among individuals. However, any attempt to copy or reference specific information in the podcast for use in professional endeavors, without the express approval and knowledge of the hosts, is forbidden. The hosts assume no liability for any unforeseen implications this podcast or the impact the contents might have on its listeners and interviewees.