Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?

It's the 80's babies!! Strap yourselves in for a high-octane coked-up Reaganomic laser show of an ep. The always radical Jenny Murray is here with us to talk about her fave film, Working Girl. It's about a girl who works. Not in the sense that she is functional, although she is that too, boy howdy. She's "working" as in she has gainful employment. She has an occupation. That's what this movie means by working. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Just listen to us talk about the movie. There's also skiing. We're gonna talk about Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (which is not actually called "Extreme Home Makeover"), Chris De Burgh's wife, and we get the opinion of one upset cat. You're gonna love it. So, in conclusion, the 80s were cool but was it a better time period than 65 million years ago and is Working Girl better than Jurassic Park? I guess that's not so much of a conclusion as it is a question. That's really more introductory territory if you ask me. Oh well. Here's a podcast.

Teenagers! Slang words! Fashion! Murder? That's what we'll be talking talking about this month as the incomparable Brett Bates takes the hot seat to talk about a movie near and dear to his heart: Clueless! Along the way James drags the podcast down by talking about Ernst Lubitsch, we play a round of Franklin or Bash, and the loudest plane in podcast history makes a surprise appearance. Who would make a better runway model, Alicia Silverstone or a velociraptor? Also, is Clueless better than Jurassic Park? Get up on outta here, ya goof! That's a thing they say in the movie right??

Golden statues!! Golden statues!!! Golden statues!!!!!!!!!!

Boy did we get drunk during this episode! Like a couple of young ruffians. Speaking of, have you heard of that movie West Side Story? Yeah like the play musical but also it's a movie musical. That happens sometimes. Deal with it. Anyway we invited our good friend Kara De Jesus to the program to tell us what she thinks of it and that's what this episode is. Also we get real sidetracked into topics such as the origins of aspirin, Johnny Appleseed, and of course the Immortal Bard. Is "the immortal bread" anything yet? If not I call dibs! So that's what you'll get out of this episode. But if you don't understand what this podcast is by now and you still need hand holding, well don't look at me. I ain't the partner that brought you to this dance. I'm just here to throw cans. BIG CANS. ...but is West Side Story better than Ol' JP?

It's the most wonderful time of the year! When we thank the Overlord this dumb year is almost through. But before we recede into our Winter cocoons, we've got one more podcast. And who better than to ring out 2016 than our good friend Jenny "Jurassic" Park!! She's bringing her favorite movie (holiday-themed or otherwise) starring The Queen herself (snowflake-shaped asterisk: not the movie "The Queen"), Queen Latifah..... the movie is call Last Holiday. That last sentence isn't grammatically correct. Deal with it. Just like we all dealt with this year. Ugh. Anyway. Laughs are shared amongst friends just like one would expect in this wonderous season. But behind every laugh is a dark secret. And behind every discussion of a movie, there's a discussion of airplane etiquette, proper etiquette for honorifics, and auto-erotic robots?????? Are we talking about Westworld? No. Do you want to? You probably do. You're on the internet right? Or are you the internet? Are we all the internet? Oh god I've discovered the Matrix. They're coming for me now but is Last Holiday better than Jurassic Park?

Happy Hollandaise.

Well I forgot to say his name while I was introducing him, but you know Matt Glasser is this episode's guest. You can read the episode's title. I don't need to tell you. But Matt Glasser is here to talk about the life-changing Miami Vice!! There's a lot of boat talk in this episode, so if that's something you're not into, get on a train or whatever makes you happy. We'll also talk about the perks of being an adult and Matt throws his Tom Hanks into our stable of classic celebrity impressions. And then we'll ask the obvious question: What if you put a T-Rex on a boat? Oh wait, they already did that in JP2... It did not go well for anybody. Oh well here's an episode of Is It Better Than Jurassic Park?. Enjoy it with a live grenade.

Ahoy-hoy! It's our 20th episode AND our 1 year anniversary, so we brought our A game to this episode. (Well B, maybe B minus...) Boats connoisseur Sky Friedlander is back with to get into the water with Spielberg's JAWS! It's sink or swim time for old JP, as we examine the head, the tail, the whole damn thing! That's a quote from Jaws. Have you seen Jaws. You should see Jaws, it's pretty good. Is it better than Jurassic Park? Well we talk about that in the podcast. It's kind of the premise of the whole podcast. Actually we mostly get sidetracked through a whole range of topics, like selling teeth to keep yourself flush with crackers, holiday-ruining movies, the musical Starlight Express, and pretty much every piece of media that isn't Jaws. Eventually we get back to business and ask the question: Is It Better Than Jurassic Park? I know I already said that once in this episode description, but so what? Is it better than Jurassic Park. There. I did it again. That's fine. I can do what I want. I'm the one that's in control here!!

Right? 

This episode is brought to you by Salty Joe's Clam Party. Clam up at Joe's!

Hey we're back! We got caught by the Kremlin or something else spy-related but now we're not anymore so here's another episode. James and Scott welcome professional swell guy Michael Chin to the podcast to discuss a movie from his youth. And guess what? It's Mission: Impossible! If you can't hear it in his voice, James can't stop smiling during this ep because he finally gets to talk about Tom Cruise without any of us rolling our eyes constantly. (We get it James...) There's also some talk of Michael's fear of elevators, Scott surfs the web, and you'll hear a healthy heaping of hat hate. Tom Cruise probably can't outrun a velociraptor ("veloci-" is right in the name. That means fast!!!), but is Mission: Impossible better than Jurassic Park? This podcast will self-distruct in 100-a billion years.

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I really hate that man! The podcast's one true villain, Scott Volz returns to the podcast to discuss the first movie he thought of probably--1995's monumental flop Waterworld! He joins an exasperated James and Scott for a discussion of the Jurassic Park sequel The Lost World and then sidetracks them through conversations about mutated spiders, the best boat jokes, and the greatest movie about ghosts on a ship, Ghost Ship! Waterworld is a terrible movie. But is it more terrible than The Lost World: Jurassic Park?

Is that what we're doing now? Seeing what's worse? Is this a race to the bottom? This podcast used to stand for something. Something good. And now... Now I just don't know anymore. This podcast is supposed to be about being better. The word "better" is in the title. Scott Volz, you ruined that. I think I hate you. Anyway, enjoy a podcast. [slow fade to black]

Open up this episode like Patrice opens up packages that aren't hers. On a warm, siren-filled night in Brooklyn, we put on some Sexual Chocolate and ceremoniously discussed the Eddie Murphy classic Coming To America with special guest Milly Tamarez! It's a wild ride full of plugs for Crazy Ex Girlfriend (give us money!), the Samsung S5 (give us money!!), and the hit podcast Is It Better Than Jurassic Park? (so broke). Plus we get a bonus review of Spotlight from Milly and James says "Oh man, I love putting on makeup." What does he mean by that? Why are you asking me and not just listening to the episode? Are you really that unsure of the premise that you have to examine to episode description for clues? Or are you just pretending to not know what a podcast is so you don't have to engage with me, Dad! Anyway enjoy this...

All Milly's plugs and links:

-Deadass (http://deadass.tv)

-Dark Down Deep Down Dark (https://theannoyancenewyork.com/events/event/dark-down-deep-down-dark/)

-Boogie Manja (http://www.boogiemanja.com) every Fri at the PIT Loft (https://thepit-nyc.com/event/2016-07-29-boogie-manja)

-And look for upcoming dates for Pyzza Tyme every month at Evil Olive Pizza Bar in Williamsburg!