Is it Recess Yet? Confessions of a Former Child Prodigy

In this conversation that took place shortly before the pandemic and shelter-in-place order, award-winning writer Mai Der Vang and I discuss why failure is always a way to build resilience; the burden of excellence that many immigrants experience plus the challenges of being a female, P.O.C. writer and academic in the American literary landscape; and the devastation of the Secret War that wreaked havoc on the Hmong people and how this trauma influences her writing, as the child of Hmong immigrants.

In my candid conversation with innovative cellist and founding member of Eighth Blackbird, Nick Photinos, we discuss career transformation during the pandemic; how we attach our sense of worthiness to the things we create; and how this time of pandemic and quarantine can be best used to ask ourselves "why am I making music?"

In my conversation with audio producer, editor, consultant and teacher, Alexandra DiPalma, we discuss how podcasting can help you push past perfectionism and get your voice heard; Alex's hit podcast, Food 4 Thot, one of the first queer podcasts; and why not putting pressure on ourselves is so important in these times of quarantine and the COVID-19 pandemic.

In my conversation with pioneering cello player, singer, composer, and educator, Mike Block, we discuss how his creative frustrations within classical music led him to pursue non-classical styles; why expanding your comfort zone means you have to be willing to be uncomfortable; why it's important to play music you enjoy, even if you're not yet good at it; and the number one thing classical musicians can do to start exploring non-classical styles.

Here's another short essay, this time about ghosting, heartbreak, and ambiguous loss.

In my conversation with performer, educator, entrepreneur, and cellist of the Bayberry String Quartet, Laura Usiskin, we discuss how the Coronavirus pandemic has affected the performing arts; the Bayberry String Quartet's journey towards Bandlab virtual rehearsing and their plans to share their process with the world; and why it's important to be patient with ourselves as we grow and change.

I’ve been taking this amazing Live Lit class with the great Ian Belknap, here in Chicago and of course, the class has come to a halt, due to the Coronavirus pandemic (weird words to be typing). So, over the next few weeks, I will be sharing some of the writing I did in the class here, for your amusement in these quarantine-times.

Ian offers wonderfully rich prompts and all the pieces must be performed live and they must not exceed 5 minutes. It’s quite amazing how this crystalizes all the bullshit thoughts that normally takes up meters of paper and forces you to get to the point right quick because the clock is literally ticking. Not to mention all the trees we’re saving. The prompt for today’s piece was to tell the story of the most frustrating/maddening time you dealt with a bureaucracy (DMV, Bursar's office, traffic court, etc).

In Part Two of my conversation with physician, cellist, writer, and former child prodigy, Dr. Sarah Carter, we discuss the classical music culture's resistance to talking about vulnerability, burnout, and mental health issues; the rigid definition of success within classical music and how it stifles creativity; the terror of improvisation and the importance of practicing discomfort in order to grow; and the positive ways Sarah's classical music training serves her in her current life and career.

In my conversation with physician, cellist, writer, and former child prodigy, Dr. Sarah Carter, we discuss the "classical music machine" and how it overwhelms young people and their families; how her feelings of worthiness were tied to her ability to be "perfect" on the cello; how a major depression at the peak of her musical career led to reclaiming her identity; the pain of leaving a classical music career behind and the pushback from that community; and how medical training has taught her to let go of perfectionism and embrace the vulnerability of being human.

In my conversation with pianist, teacher, and administrator, Assaff Weisman, we discuss the importance of early teachers; the entrepreneurship required of a modern classical musician's career; and the importance of building relationships and making peace with sales and marketing.