After an unintentional break overwhelmed by the state of the world, I’m back behind the mic. In this episode, I catch you up on life on tour — including observations about disgruntled Swedes, edgy Finns, and the time I casually suggested on Instagram that the president of Finland should father my unborn frozen eggs… only for him to follow me. So yes, dreams do come true. A Nordic fairytale, really...

There’s also breakup chat (I’m fine, obviously), a dependable rant about misogyny, and some reflections on how to keep a cool head while everything else seems to be heating up. It’s part overshare, part therapy session, part existential spiral — but ultimately, I’m alright. Chaotic, opinionated, and back as usual.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m pushed to the brink by my neighbours, who have apparently decided that 6 a.m. drilling is a human right. At what point does renovation noise become a hate crime? Asking for all of us. Honestly, jail.

Then we move on to the most shocking thing to happen in Norway since… ever: the royal family drama currently unfolding in real time. I break down what’s going on, why the entire country is watching it like a reality TV show, and what it means for an institution that’s usually allergic to scandal. A crown princess has been allegedly mentioned in the Epstein files, and her son is currently on trial facing 38 charges, including sexual assault and drug-related offences — a case that has completely dominated the national conversation.

I also explain the royal family dynamics for anyone who’s lost, and I send love where it’s deserved — a big shout-out to Märtha Louise and Durek Verrett.

I wrap up by hoping you’re well, reminding you that I’m on tour (dates on my website), and promising to see you very soon.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today’s episode, I start off where we’re all living right now: the low-grade terror of existing in a world that feels permanently on the brink. Comforting! From there, we take a hard left into something far more practical — my dog’s urinary tract infection, the indignity of trying to collect a urine sample from a very small dog, and the strange courage it takes to fully commit to that task despite the shame.

I also talk about being a guest on a podcast I absolutely should never have been on — one about being single — and why I really struggle to connect with women who are invested in traditional gender roles and the status quo. Maybe that makes me a bitch. I prefer to think it makes me honest. And funny.

We also get into body stuff: ageing, weight, self-consciousness, and the ongoing battle between being kind to yourself and telling yourself to get a grip. Your body is a vessel. It gets you from A to B. That’s it. Calm down.

And finally, I’m on tour! I’ve just released my UK tour dates — you can find them all on my website www.pernillehaaland.com

Thanks for listening. Take care of yourselves. 💛

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So… welcome. I am currently hiding from storms.

Not metaphorically — literally. The weather in Norway feels personal right now.

And honestly the global political weather isn’t great either. Isn’t it kind of cringe to still be doing colonisation in 2026? Like… read the room?!

Anyway — this episode is about hiding, and also about letting things go.

Because sometimes the momentum just isn’t there anymore. With people, with situations, with versions of yourself. And when something starts to feel heavy instead of alive, maybe that’s not a sign to push harder — maybe it’s a sign to let go.

Which is ironic, because I am amazing at holding on to procrastination.

I don’t want to write my show.

I don’t want to do the washing up.

Especially because my dishwasher is broken and I’m apparently living in the 1800s now.

So instead I’ve been watching films — I saw Sentimental Value, which is incredible — and getting ready to go on tour, which is exciting and mildly terrifying.

And I’ve been thinking about the people I love. Especially my older sister, who I adore and who keeps me grounded in the best way.

So I guess this is just a reminder to surround yourself with people you love, let go of what no longer fits, and hide from storms when you need to.

I really hope I see you soon on tour.

Take care. 💛

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So… welcome to 2026.

We are one week in and somehow already in what feels like a geopolitical thriller.

Like — this is not “New Year, New Me.”

This is “New Year, New Cold War.”

I’ll get to that. But first: Christmas was actually lovely. I had a great holiday, I hope you did too — although the contrast between “quiet Nordic winter” and “the world actively on fire” is… jarring.

On New Year’s Eve we literally had to save a 20-year-old girl who got too drunk, lost her phone, and ended up alone in the mountains in Norway. Which sounds like a Netflix true-crime series, but luckily it wasn’t. We found her, she was fine, and we did a good deed. So that felt nice.

Meanwhile the rest of the world?

Unwell.

It genuinely feels like we’re on the brink of war over… Greenland.

Which is wild, because the main export of Greenland is ice and vibes.

I’m very grateful Denmark has Lego — because at this point our only defense strategy is to build a wall around Greenland out of tiny plastic bricks and hope everyone respects it.

And if that fails, we’ll just ask Iceland to erupt a volcano.

Because nothing says “sovereignty” like grounding all flights for six months.

Good luck invading when the sky is just… ash.

I mean, let’s see how far anyone gets when their luxury jet can’t even land because there’s literal magma in the air.

Anyway.

Other than the impending doom, this episode is actually quite cozy.

I talk about the year ahead and what I want from it — and my main political wish is very simple:

I want politics to be boring again.

I want our leaders to be invisible.

That’s how you know they’re doing a good job.

If I recognize your face, something has gone wrong.

I also talk about my love language, which I think is… logistics.

I’m not romantic. I don’t do grand gestures. I’ll never write you a poem — but I will make sure your passport is valid and your dentist appointment is booked.

That’s love. That’s Nordic romance.

So maybe I’m not cold — maybe I’m just Nordic?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode.

Please share it, rate it, write a review — all that algorithmic witchcraft really helps.

I’m on tour, I hope I see you in a city where you live, and the full tour list is on my website: www.pernillehaaland.com

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I kick things off by wishing you happy celebrations—whatever you celebrate. Christmas, not Christmas, something else entirely… honestly, as long as you’re okay, that’s what matters.

Then things get a little weird—in a good way. I start unpacking my thoughts for 2026 and accidentally (or maybe intentionally) walk you straight into the early stages of my next show. This episode is basically me thinking out loud: outlining ideas, questioning them, wrestling with them, and showing you what the creative process actually looks like when a comedian is trying to build something new.

If you’re into comedy and curious about how jokes, themes, and shows are born, this one’s for you. And if you’re not, it’s still entertaining because I definitely reveal too much—as usual—to a level that’s mildly dangerous. Don’t worry though, I’ve got my seatbelt on. You might want to buckle yours too.

There’s a lot of ranting, a lot of honesty, and probably more transparency than is advisable. I don’t usually reveal all my secrets, but this time I kind of lay everything out—nice and tidy, just the way you like it.

As always, I’d love your feedback. DM me anytime—I genuinely love connecting with listeners. And don’t forget to like, share, subscribe, and leave a review. Good or bad, I’ll read it. I’ve got thick skin. Mama enjoys a good counterpoint.

Alright—let’s go.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m chatting all about my birthday — yep, I’m turning 37 tomorrow! I do a little debrief and reflection on what I’ve learned, the wisdom I’ve gathered, and all the things I’ve picked up while roaming around Planet Earth for 37 whole moons.

It’s a fun, cozy catch-up, and yes… I still have a cold. So please bear with me if I sound like someone is pinching my nose shut — I swear no one is. It’s just where I’m at right now, you guys.

This one’s a big birthday-special episode, and if it happens to be your birthday too, congrats! We are out here doing it, queens. I’m feeling very grateful, and I’m looking forward to everything that 2026 has in store.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today’s episode kicks off with a heartfelt, deeply spiritual rant about my eternal feud with Valencia—yes, the city in Spain. There is a backstory, and no, I’m not repeating it here; you’ll have to listen to the podcast to understand why Valencia and I are never, ever getting back together. But shout-out to the wonderful audiences in Spain—you were lovely, even if your geography betrayed me.

Then I launch into an update on my recovery, because I’ve been ill—did I mention I’d been ill?—and Christmas is looming like a giant, festive migraine. Especially in Norway, where December is basically someone turning the universe’s dimmer switch to “off.” Every time you go outside, it’s like stepping directly into the abyss. Very atmospheric. Very harrowing. Very “Nordic noir,” but without the murder mystery—unless you count my will to live.

I also reveal my glamorous recovery method, which is watching an obscene number of Julia Roberts movies. Truly, nothing gets you through long hours of illness like Julia smiling her way through situations that would emotionally level the rest of us.

And then, naturally, I detour into a passionate thesis on why Christian men are definitely gay—or at least deeply allergic to their own feelings. Which leads to a broader rant about men and emotional vulnerability: not that men struggle, but that they refuse to admit they’re struggling, as if feelings are some sort of contagious weakness. Cue another spiral. Cue another rant.

So yes. A fun, cheerful episode for the whole family.

Follow Pernille Haaland:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland

Instagram www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland

Facebook www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.