Avoiding sex? Feeling the "ick" when your partner initiates? Going to bed at 8pm to dodge intimacy? You probably think you have low libido. But what if that's not what's actually happening?

In this vulnerable episode, I share my own story of years spent in what I call "the messy middle"—that phase where you've stopped having sex you don't want, but you haven't figured out what you DO want yet. From the outside, it looked like my libido vanished. But what was really happening? My body was setting boundaries after years of performing intimacy.

I walk you through the three phases: passive withdrawal (where most people get stuck), learning to own your voice and have the hard conversation, and discovering your authentic pleasure. I also share the specific fears that keep people stuck—"What if talking about this makes it worse?"—and what actually helps you move forward.

Note: This pattern happens most for women due to socialization, but it affects anyone who's learned to perform sexually rather than connect authentically.

If you're in the messy middle, this episode will help you understand why—and what comes next.

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(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

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