"Hey, I've got an idea. Let's make a neo-Western crime movie with Captain Kirk and the Dude." Someone had that thought, and that someone is a GODDAMNED GENIUS.

Hey, kid! Do you love those Jason Bourne movies? Well have we got a surprise for you!

Bryan Cranston is pretty good. You probably knew that already; just thought we'd repeat it for funsies.

Who you gonna call? Kate McKinnon, that's who. For anything and everything.

Oh wow is this movie awful. Not even an attempt at witty banter here. Its badness will knock your socks off.

In which Poe Dameron and Macbeth fight... uh... I actually can't think of really anything else that James McAvoy is particularly famous for. Band of Brothers? Sure. Fassbender was in that too, you know!

Hey kids, do you like Russell Crowe? Do you like Ryan Gosling? You don't? Then get the fuck out. There's no place for you here.

Disney owns all these things now, right? You kind of wanted Luke Skywalker to show up and say "civil war? Is it a GALACTIC civil war? Meh. Not that impressive."

And then Cap says, "we have Robert Downey Junior."

Then the real war starts. Over Robert Downey Junior.

Key and Peele, the world's cutest cat, and Method Man reprising

Hey kids! Do you hate fun? Then have we got the movie for you.