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The more conflicted I feel about life, the more danger I’m in of harming others and/or myself. The less I have mixed feelings about life, the safer I am, and the safer are those who depend on me for their own welfare. This podcast explores how to decrease our mixed feelings about power, life, money, adversity, challenges, failure and being questioned. #DavidGhiam #antifragile #mysticism

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Summary with Time Stamps:

[0:00-1:30] Many people face rejection, feeling “nobody likes me,” attracting toxic people, or struggling professionally, like not getting hired. These experiences damage self-esteem and block desired social or work relationships.

[1:30-3:00] Rejection is a signal to improve, not despair. While feeling dejected is normal, prolonged self-pity worsens the issue. We can respond with enthusiasm, using rejection as motivation to become more valuable without needing others’ permission.

[3:00-4:30] By offering value to others, we turn time into opportunity. Helping others and being rewarded reduces the pain of rejection. Embracing rejection as feedback makes us resilient, freeing us from ego-driven fear or bitterness.

[4:30-6:00] The acronym “MEET GOD” (Make Enlightenment Easy Through Gifts of Desperation) shows how adversity drives growth. Desperation prompts seeking help, and surrendering to reality is empowering. Adversity pushes us into a growth zone.

[6:00-7:30] The ego, a poor master but good servant, resists growth. Rejection reveals our lack of control over emotions or conditions. Our instinct is to master our lives, not be victims of circumstances.

[7:30-9:00] Mastery starts with accepting rejection, forgiving others and ourselves, and releasing resentment. This restores energy to embrace discomfort as growth. Gratitude for feedback, even if painful, fuels development.

[9:00-10:00] By doubling down on growth, we move from being at the mercy of rejection to authoring our lives, becoming the main character in our story.

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Candle & Bonfire: Episode – “ITWIT: Igniting Your Success”

 What fuels true success? In this smoldering episode of Candle & Bonfire, we unveil the ITWIT framework—It Takes What It Takes—a clear, actionable recipe for a vibrant, purpose-driven life. Inspired by the quote, “Distance diminishes small loves and increases big ones, like wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire,” host Big Doc Energy distills success into four key ingredients: time, energy, service to others, and a balanced money mindset. This 5-minute episode delivers specific, technical steps to assess your readiness to give what success demands, moving beyond vague ideals. Are you ready to invest time to fan your bonfire? Can you channel energy to sustain your flame? Will you serve others despite judgment? Can you approach money with clarity, not greed? We explore how to give authentically—without forcing or stealing—while embracing acceptance and rejection, letting small loves fade to amplify big ones. With a quick guided meditation and journaling prompts, this episode empowers you to build a life of impact. Perfect for dreamers seeking to ignite their purpose, join us to transform time into value, energy into action, and service into connection. Light your bonfire now!

Why Listen?

• Clear Roadmap: Master ITWIT with concrete steps to achieve success, checking boxes for clarity.
• Practical Insights: Learn to prioritize time, harness energy, serve others, and balance money.
• Inspirational Depth: Connect success to the Candle & Bonfire ethos, where big loves blaze brighter.
• Actionable Tools: Get a meditation and prompts to embody ITWIT, fueling your purpose.

Chapters

• [00:00–00:30] Igniting ITWIT
  Big Doc Energy introduces Candle & Bonfire and ITWIT, emphasizing specific answers for success.
• [00:31–01:30] Time: Your Spark
  Explore time as success’s foundation, tied to “time is money.” Do you have it? Will you give it?
• [01:31–02:30] Energy: Fueling the Flame
  Dive into energy as success’s driver, variable yet vital. How to give it wisely.
• [02:31–04:00] Service: The Heart of Fire
  Unpack service as success’s core, embracing judgment to grow big loves, per the podcast’s quote.
• [04:01–05:00] Money Mindset & Meditation
  Learn why success needs clarity, not cash, with a meditation to commit to ITWIT.

Key Points

• ITWIT Framework: Success demands time, energy, service, and a balanced money mindset. Ask: Do I have it? Will I give it?
• Time is Money: Time fuels success, convertible like energy in E=mc², fanning your bonfire.
• Energy’s Power: Energy drives action, requiring strategic giving to sustain your flame.
• Service and Courage: Serving others means accepting/rejecting, dimming small loves to amplify big ones.
• Money Balance: Success requires peace with money, not wealth, avoiding greed or theft.
• Checklist for Action: Use ITWIT to assess commitment, igniting a purposeful life.

Calls to Action

1. Subscribe & Share: Follow Candle & Bonfire on Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Share on Instagram/X with #CandleAndBonfire!
2. Consider your level of success: How do you measure it? In money? Followers? Personal fulfillment? Feeling stoked about life? Do I have time, energy, service, clarity? Will I give them?

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Kaveh Navab is an anesthesiologist with a keen interest in high performance group dynamics. His paradigm is rooted in personal subjective experience of justice and injustice, health and toxicity. He speaks here, on the relationship of anger to the rest of our lives, its origins, and how it influences the trajectory of our physical, emotional, mental, financial and social lives. The importance of disarming the topics of anger, disapproval, judgement and a spectrum of effective and productive performance, are at the heart of healing our social wounds and confusion. Bringing humor to angering situations is the best way to actually keep our eye on the problem while maintaining our healthy level of energy which we'll need to most effectively deal with the issue. 

Are you wounded? Have you endured physical, emotional, mental, financial and social insults and offenses? We know the answer is "yes." Having expectations is human. It's totally human and healthy for us to be entitled to being treated a certain way, counting on people, and depending on others. But of course that's exactly where disappointment, anger and trauma (DAT) eventually arise from. They arise from DIS - our dependence, innocence, and safety. When we are DIS, we become DAT. But many times we get stuck in the disappointment, anger, and trauma. It becomes like a heavy cloud of pain and confusion - hypnotic and captivating, such that we can't take our eyes off the dark side of the situation. Be it physical, emotional, mental, financial or social, we want to be whole, we want to be healed. The first step is noticing the pain. Where is the injury? What needs your attention right away? Is it physical, emotional, mental, financial or social? What will life look like once it's healed? How will you be able to show up more completely and openly in your own and others' lives?

These deep questions will be 

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In this meditation, we will practice checking in with your inner child through a somatic approach, to see what needs are there and how they can be felt and met throughout the nervous system. The inner child can carry a range of emotions and needs which can change every day, and by getting in touch and tuning in with them on a regular basis, we are able to more fully connect with all parts of ourselves and thrive in our daily life.

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Welcome back to Get What You Want, the Candle and Bonfire Success System Podcast. 

This week, Dr Anahita Navab Holden and Dr Kaveh Navab team up to guide each other and you to the parts of life that are bugging us. The stress, pressure, pain and conflict that we feel is often something we don’t discuss openly - it brings the mood down and makes us feel helpless. 

However, we are changing that. We promise you that together we will find specific and logical actions that arise from the commitments we discover when we allow our honest complaints to be voiced. We know if we keep our concerns to ourselves out of embarrassment or a need for privacy, things will just stay the same. 

A pivot or departure from the status quo can be “tried on” for size. You don’t have to “buy” what we are selling - you could just “rent” it and see how it feels to try something new, and take some novel actions out for a test drive. 

Unapologetically describing how you want your life to be different is the key first step, and one that many of us don’t even feel like we deserve to vocalize. Dr Ana and Dr Kaveh are familiar with that feeling, and we ourselves are learning to stand up for ourselves and each other. We are also standing up for you, and your ability to take action to pivot into your best life - starting with the problems and conflicts you have with your current reality, conditions and results, whether physical, emotional, mental, financial or social. 

Feel the pressure. Give it a voice. No judgement. You deserve to feel better, and the first step is naming the problem. 

Check out the ebook and opportunities to connect, at 

www.candleandbonfire.com

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Enjoy this meditation exploring your cultivation of inner strength, from a place of grounding and centering yourself. When we are able to draw this energy of vitality into ourselves, our nervous systems respond and allow us to come from a place of resource and strength in navigating our daily interactions with loved ones.

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"You can have your cake and eat it too"... this is true when your cake is a process, but not when it's a physical thing. "Enjoying the processes of making money, becoming powerful, popular, influential and beloved," is what we'd consider "having our cake and eating it too," or "success without suffering," If we have to suffer or hurt anyone else to make money or become popular, that's not our definition of "as successful as we could be." But that's just us.

This is a podcast designed to help you get what you want, without taking anything away from anyone else. This may be a new concept to most - and we welcome you to join us! It is a discussion, invitation, and encouragement (gentle pressure) - it is based in neuroscience, logic, storytelling, and personal experiences of performance, competition, failure and success. It's designed for us to first recognize, and then -if we so desire- to grow our powers to pursue, attract, and create what we want across 5 domains of life, without hurting others or ourselves. In fact the secret is we can in fact succeed specifically by helping others succeed. 

The domains of life (physical, emotional, mental, financial and social) are calling out to us to help them heal and grow. Together, they make up our life, our selves, and define what we want. Our relationships with power, control, organization, understanding, clarity and graceful ease... apply to body, heart, mind, money, and relationships. That's the point of this podcast - to get what you want, and to happily pay the price. On this podcast, we are all teaming up with each other, to get what we want on purpose (not on accident). We do that by inspecting and learning from the edge of growth, and the associated discomfort and pain. 

This is the conversation. This is how healing, growth and success feels. Anti-Fragility. This is performance, but not competition. Giving, but not sacrifice. This is a reliable, honest, mature, ambitious, generative and creative path to Getting What You Want. Join in! Looking forward to our journey!