Just for fun, try this quick thought experiment.

Soccer boy meets rocker girl.

Soccer boy and rocker girl bond over classic cinema.

Soccer boy and rocker girl fall in love, playing right into the hands of the liberal democratic agenda to produce acquiescent subjects serving the needs of the state under the guise of that which is perceived as the most authentic of experiences…romantic love. (But we’re not going to talk about that).

In this week’s text, Liz and Todd work together to set up Dana Larson and Aaron Dallas, who have both recently (and loudly) professed their disinterest in love.

Along the way, we discuss why you should always remove the colon from your paper titles, assume a fig is a metaphor for a vagina, and beware of water ghosts in “I’ve Never Once Heard You Say Wow” (Sweet Valley High #68, The Love Bet).