JCast Network

‘Snitch’ directed by Ric Roman Waugh is an action film with barely any ‘action’. At that’s the least of its problems.

The main one: It’s lead…The Rock aka Dwayne Johnson. I know your films have made quite a lot of money at the box office, but you are one ‘wooden’ actor. You had one facial expression throughout the film and delivered your dialogue monotonically. Not good at all.

Johnson can get away with it in comedy, but definitely not in a dramatic piece which this film is.

He plays a businessman, John Matthews who owns a successful trucking company, Matthews is married, has a young child and all seems right in his world. That is until…

His estranged 18 year old son, Jason (Raft Gavron) from his first marriage gets busted for receiving a package filled with MDMA. Jason is going to receive a mandatory minimum 19 year sentence in federal prison.

MORAL: Don’t be dumb enough to let your drug dealing BFF talk you into receiving illegal drugs in the mail.

Anyway after Jason turns down an offer from politically ambitious U.S. Attorney, Joanne Keeghan (Susan Sarandon) to reduce his sentence by manufacturing evidence against someone else, John begs Keeghan to let him go undercover instead and pose as a guy wanting to buy coke.

Keeghan agrees. Now all John has to do is find an ex con with connection to drug dealers. Lucky for him, he has one working for him…A man named Daniel Cruz. And lucky for us, Cruz is played by Jon Bernthal who brings an authenticity to the part, something Johnson does not.

Okay so John and Cruz hook up with coke dealer, Malik (the excellent Michael Kenneth) and do a trial run…All goes well, so John catches the eyes and ears of the head of the drug cartel, Juan Carlos (Benjamin Bratt) Now our guy is ready for the ‘big, big time’.

As I mentioned, If you’re waiting for some heavy duty action, it doesn’t come…Not until the last 15 minutes of the film. And trust me, it is not worth the wait.

Rounding out the cast is Barry Pepper, as undercover cop, Billy Cooper, Melina Kanakaredes as Sylvia, John’s first wife.

‘Snitch’ written by Waugh along with Justin Haythe opens in theatres Friday February 22.

The film received one of my lowest bagel scores…1 1/2. Check out our video for John’s score and of course, for more of us.

2012 was a great year for films.

We had an old fashioned spaghetti western that blended over the top comedy, violence and the horror of slavery from the always exceptional Quentin Tarrantino (‘Django Unchained)…

Several films based on real life events…one that took us on an edge of your seat journey involving the hunt and capture of Osama Bin Laden (;Zero Dark Thirty’) directed by Kathreen Bigelow and the other…

The rescue of 6 American hostages during the Iran 1979 revolution (‘Argo’) directed by Ben Affleck.

And speaking of history…We saw all the manipulations and political intrigue involved in passing the 13th Amendment to the Constitution to abolish slavery. Of course the film is ‘Lincoln’starring the amazing Daniel Day Lewis and directed by Steven Speilberg.

2012 was also the year of first time filmmakers…Benh Zeitlin (‘Beasts Of The Southern Wild’) which stars an endearing 8 year old girl (Quvenzhane Wallis) who manages quite effortless to steal our hearts with her brilliant performance.

‘Silver Linings Playbook’ (David O’ Russell) gave us a funny and touching look at love and mental illiness, while ‘Les Miserables’ gave us a performance by Anne Hathaway who is a sho-in for best supporting actress. Of course Hugh Jackman wasn’t too shabby as the French peasant looking for redemption.

Nine Best Picture nominations and only five best directors still perplexes me. How can you have a ‘Best Picture’ without the director being nominated as in the case of ‘Argo’ and ‘Django Unchained’.

John and I usually don’t agree about which movies get our top bagel award, but this year we did agree on our picks for Best Actor and Actress…Naomi Watts for ‘The Impossible’ and Daniel Day Lewis ‘Lincoln’ got our nods.

Even though we disagreed on Best Supporting Actor, we both felt Helen Hunt deserves the Oscar for her work ‘The Sessions’. Too bad John Hawkes her co-star got overlooked. He was amazing as the 40 something year old virgin living in an iron lung. All the guy wants to do (besides write poetry) is experience some hot sex before he dies.

Personally even though I picked ‘Django Unchained’ as my Oscar pick for ‘Best Picture’ I think ‘Argo’ will win. But we’ll have to wait till Sunday February 24, 2012 to find out.

Check out our video to see the rest of our picks and for more of our witty banter.

Bruce Willis reprises his ioconic role as police detective John McClane in ‘A Good Day To Die Hard’ directed by John Moore (‘Max Payne’) and written by Skip Woods (‘A Team’) and Jason Keller.

McClane this time around, finds himself in Moscow. Seems his estranged son, Jack (Jai Courtney) has been arrested for murder. McClane isn’t at all surprise. He believes Jack is a total screw-up.

In truth (and this isn’t a SPOILER) Jack is a CIA operative trying to protect a government whistleblower, Komarov (Sebastian Koch) from being killed.

Anyway, before father and son can hook up, they’re involved in an over the top car case through the streets of Moscow that lasts around ten minutes (It felt like ten hours)

After that’s over, the two men, spend some time yelling at each other, followed by a few moments of male bonding, as they try to protect Komarov Russian bad guys. And there’s lots of those.

There’s also lots of shoot outs, fights, a little torture and more car chases.

Get the picture…

I really wanted to love this film or at least be entertained, but unfortunately neither one of those things happened.

‘A Good Day To Die Hard’ has what you’d expect from an action film…It has action. What it doesn’t have is a good script and well defined characters.

Bruce Willis is always fun to watch, but even he couldn’t save this film from being nothing more than two hours of non stop, excessive violence, with a twist you could see coming a mile away.

It’s for those reasons I gave ‘A Good Day To Die Hard’ 21/2 bagels out of 5.

The film opens on Valentines Day, Thursday February 14, 2012. If you’re planning on having a romantic evening, this is definitely NOT the movie to see.

Check out our video to find out John’s score and for more of our witty banter.

When we meet Emily (Rooney Mara) she is picking up her husband, Martin (Channing Tatum) from prison. He was sentenced to four years for inside trading.

Once living the high life, the couple are now reduced to sharing a small apartment in a not so very fashionable New York City neighborhood.

Martin takes this all in stride. He believes that one day soon, he’ll be back on top.

Emily, on the other hand, is not doing too good. That’s especially obvious when she drives her car into a brick wall and winds up in the hospital.

After her failed suicide attempt, psychiatrist, Jonathan Banks (Jude Law) is called in to consult on Emily’s case. Desperate not to be hospitalized, Emily agrees to a regimen of therapy and antidepressants.

When the first set of pills don’t work, Banks prescribes a new medication that quiets her demons. Unfortunately, the side effects of the drug has chilling consequences for Emily, her husband and even for…Banks.

Side Effects, directed by Oscar winner Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Erin Brockovich, Sex, Lies and Videotape) and written by Scott Z. Barnes (Contagion, The Bourne Ultimatum) is what I’d call a provocative thriller filled with suspense and and twists and turns that you won’t see coming.

You really have to pay close attention to what’s going on. In other words, don’t leave to buy popcorn.

The cast,including Catherine Zeta Jones as Emily’s former shrink are all excellent and the film even manages to get satrical in regards to the harmeuctical industry and our pill popping society.

I gave ‘Side Effects’ 3 1/2 bagels out of 5. The film opens Friday, February 9, 2012 and if you’re a fan of Soderbergh and this genre, definitely see it.

Watch our video to find out John’s thoughts and his bagel score.

There are many reasons to see this quirky, independent, funny, touching, action, comedy…but the main ones are…Al Pacino and Christopher Walken. They are fantastic. Both of these fine actors give tour de force performances in their respective roles.

Al is Vall, a 60+ year old career criminal who’s just been released from prison after serving twenty-eight years, for refusing to give up one of his close criminal associates.

His BFF, Doc (Christopher Walken) picks him up at the prison and the two guys spend the next few hours, talking about their glory days, drinking, popping pills and visiting a whore house.

But that’s not all. They wind up breaking out their old pal, Hirsch (Alan Arkin).from a nursing home. From there things get even wilder. They guys steal a car and prove that despite their age, their capacity for mayhem is still very much alive and well.

It doesn’t take long before bullets start to fly, as the men make a hilariously valiant effort, to compensate for the decades of crime, drugs and sex, they’ve missed.

But it’s not all fun and games. One of these old friends is keeping a dangerous secret. Not to spoil anything, let’s just say it has to do with a very powerful, very angry, mob boss bent on revenge.

“Stand Up Guys’ which opens in theatres February 1, 2013 directed by Fisher Stevens and written by first time screenwriter, Noah Haidle is a must see for anyone who loves great acting, great dialogue and a great story.

I absolutely loved this film and gave it 41/2 bagels out of 5. Check out our video to see John’s score and for our usual off the wall banter.

Parker (Jason Statham) is a thief…One of the best around. But he’s not just a thief. He’s a thief with a code…Do what you say…If you don’t…there will be consequences.

Parker demands absolute loyalty and strict adherence to the plan from his crew. Unfortunately that’s not what he gets from fellow thieves, Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce) and Ross (Clifton Collins, Jr.)

‘Parker’ directed by Academy Award nomineeTaylor Hackford, (‘Ray’) starts out with a daring robbery at the Ohio State Fair that doesn’t go so well. Thanks to the recklessness of one of his men, someone dies.

This leads Parker very pissed off at his crew and declines their invitation to do another job. He just wants his share of the take and to be rid of them.

His gang however, has another idea. They want to pool all the money and invest it in a major jewel heist.

So when Parker refuses to give up his share, they shoot him and leave him for dead on the side of a deserted road. Lucky for Parker, a very nice couple comes along and saves his life.

Well if they didn’t, there would be a movie right?

Even though Parker isn’t fully recovered, he wants one thing and one thing only…Revenge.

No one can stop him…Not even his girlfriend, Claire (Emma Booth) or her father and Parker’s partner, Hurley (Nick Nolte),

He traces the gang to glitzy Palm Beach where he finds out, they are planning to rob $50 million dollars of jewels.

Needling to discover where the gang is hiding out, Parker poses as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a home.

And guess who’s his real estate agent? It’s Miss J Lo, who winds up being extremely helpful to Parker, thanks to her extensive knowledge of Palm Beach..

You can imagine what happens next. Afterall this is a Jason Statham movie. That’s right…lots of violence, fighting, and of course…lots and lots of…death.

‘Parker’ was written by John J. McLaughlin (‘Black Swan’ and ‘Hitchcock’) based on the novel, ‘Flashfire’ by Richard Stark aka Donald Westlake.

It’s basically mindless entertainment. There aren’t any surprises and the film gives you two hours of escapist fun…Personally I’d wait to see it on Netflix.

I gave ‘Parker’ 2 1/2 bagels out of 5. The film opens Friday January 25, 2012.

Check out our video to find out John’s score and hear more of our banter.

The broken city, in this character driven crime thriller is…New York, aka Manhattan, aka The Big Apple.

In this fictitous New York City, The not so honorable, Nicolas Hostetler (Russell Crowe) is the Mayor…He’s as charming as he is corrupt.

When the film opens, we see cop, Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) kill a rapist. According to Taggart, he had no choice…He shot in self defense.

The public is outraged when the court decides that there’s not enough evidence against Taggart to bring him to trial. But even though he beats the murder charge, Mayor Hostetler, has no choice but to ask for the policeman’s resignation.

Fast forward to seven years later.

Taggart is barely getting by as a private investigator, mainly because he never asks for money upfront and then his clients refuse to pay.

But even though the dude is broke, he does have a very beautiful girlfriend, Natalie (Natalie Martinez) who just happens to be an aspiring actress. The couple are so in love and in lust, they don’t even mind living in a broken down apartment.

So life isn’t too bad for Taggart. That is until…

The Mayor, after not seeing the cop for years, calls Taggart out of the blue and hires him to follow his beautiful wife, Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones) The Mayor, supposedly, thinks she’s having an affair.

Sounds like a fun movie? Unfortunately, not that much.

The film directed by Allen Hughes, one half of The Hughes Brothers (‘Menace 2 Society;) is something you’ve seen over and over again. The story and the characters are very familiar and not in an exciting way.

Having said that…There are a couple of interesting twists in the film.

One involves, Councilman Jack Valenti (Barry Pepper) as the newcomer who’s running against the Mayor in the upcoming election, as well as the Police Comissioner (Jeffrey Wright) who seems to dislike everybody.

As far as the acting goes, Russell Crowe is quite good. Zeta-Jones and Wahlberg do what they always do. She looks beautiful and he’s Mister Tough, Vulnerable Guy.

So if you’re curious, wait to see it when it comes to Netflix or cable.

John and I are actually in agreement and gave ‘Broken City’ which opens in theatres, Friday January 18, 2012, a low 2 bagels out of 5 score.

Check out our video for more of our silly banter.

The year…1949…The place…Los Angeles…and ruthless, sadistic, meglomaniac, Jewish gangster, Mickey Cohen (the brilliant Sean Penn) runs the show in this town.

We’re talking…drugs, guns, prostitutes, and if he had his way, every wire bet placed west of Chicago would fall under his domain.

The guy is ruthless and a total nut job, completely lacking in charm. He’s definitely, no Michael Correleone.

To get an idea how Cohen’s mind works, at some point in the film he yells to his crew of killers…”You heard of Manifest Destiny? That’s when you take what you can, when you can…And I’m gonna take it all and not just because I can, but because this is my destiny…Los Angeles is my destiny’.

Cohen is a thug. He doesn’t even know which fork to use for the salad. And the guy likes to eat out alot, So what does he do? Cohen hires an etiquette coach (Emma Stone) Of course, she also becomes his unfortunate lover.

So how do you stop a monster who has practically every politician, cop, and judge in his pocket?

Luckily Chief Of Police, Parker (Nick Nolte) has come up with a plan. He recruits ex War hero/LAPD Sgt. John O’Mara, (Josh Brolin) to put together a secret squad to bring Cohen down.

It doesn’t take long for O’Mara to assemble the best of the best…Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling) who just happens to be in love with Cohen’s girl…Electronics wiz, Conwell Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi)…Sharp shooter, Max Kennard (Robert Patrick) and his side-kick, Navidad Ramirez (Michael Pena) and Officer Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie) who patrols the streets of South Central.

O’Mara’s motto: ‘We’re not solving a case here. We’re going to war’. And it’s guerilla style war. Their unofficial name is…The Gangster Squad’.

‘Gangster Squad’ is directed by Ruben Fleischer (‘Zombieland’) and written by Will Beal based on the book Gangster Squad by Paul Lieberman and it has all the ingredients you’d expect in this kind of film…

Over the top violence, fully developed characters, a bit of humor, buddy relationships and of course, a few love stories.

As for the production itself, production designer Maher Ahmad and editors Alan Baumgarten and James Herbert, as well as, Academy Award costume designer Mary Zophres, have done a brilliant job in recreating the Los Angeles of 1949.

From the sets, to the elegant night clubs, to the art deco buildings as well as the fabulous cars (why don’t automobiles look like that anymore?) everything is authentic and transports us to the glamorous Golden Age of 1949.

‘The Gangster Squad’ gives us a glimpse into Los Angeles when it was still the wild wild west and Burbank was just over the river.

The supporting cast including Mireille Enos (‘The Killing’) as Connie O’Mara, John’s pregnant and super understanding wife are all excellent.

I really enjoyed this film and gave ‘Gangster Squad’ which opens in theatres, January 11, 2013, four bagles out of five.

2012 was a great year for films…Studio films as well as indies all scored big.

From the exquisite writing, directing, special effects, I found myself laughing hysterically from a foul mouth, oversex, pot smoking bear, to a bunch of folks freaking out at the prospect of turning 40.

We had cutting edge perfromances from Matthew McConghey (‘Killer Joe’ & ‘The Paper Boy), Nicole Kidman (‘The Paper Boy’), John Hawkes and Helen Hunt (‘The Sessions’) as well as Daniel Day Lewis (‘Lincoln’) Anthony Hopkins (Hitchcock) and the whole cast of ‘Django Unchained’.

As usual, John and I didn’t always agree especially in the case of my number 1 and number 2 pick…’Django Unchained’ (#1) and ‘Lincoln’ (#2), but there were some films that surprisingly we were in accord…’The Intouchables’ ‘The Perks Of Being A Wallflower’, ‘Silver Linings Playbook’, ‘Killer Joe’, and ‘Life Of Pi…(of course in different order)

One thing is for sure, all the films on our list received at least 4 bagels out of 5 from both of us…And they transported us to some really magical places. The films we picked inspired us, made us laugh, shocked us, informed us and for the most part, definitely touched our hearts and minds. And that’s what a good film should always do.

So check out our video for more of our silly banter, and heres to a New Year that hopefully will have lots and lots of ‘5 bagel films’. It’s always more fun to like something than to hate it.

>‘This is 40’ or as Debbie (Leslie Mann) likes to say…38…Yep, she lies about her age…even to her gynecologist.

Debbie and Pete (Paul Rudd) her husband are turning 40, but Deb just won’t admit it…Can’t admit it…

Judd Apatow’s new film ‘This Is 40’ is a followup to ‘Knocked Up’. If you’ve been wondering what happened to those two main characters in that film, here’s your chance to find out.

Debbie and Pete are happily maried with two girls, Sadie (Maude Apatow) and Iris (Charlotte Apatow) The family lives in a beautiful, lavish house that they can barely afford.

Pete’s indie label isn’t doing very well and his next big launch of Graham Parker And The Rumor’s comeback record, doesn’t look too promising.

Plus someone has stolen $13,000 from Leslie’s Lula Lemon type store. It’s either her top salesperson, Desi (Megan Fox) or her pet employee, Jodi (Charlene Yi).

On top of all this, Pete’s father, (the wonderful smarmy, narcissitic, Albert Brooks) is constantly borrowing money him…money Pete doesn’t have, but he just can’t say ‘no’ to his daddy.

Oh did I mention that Debbie, also has a father (John Litgow) but he couldn’t care less about her? All his affections are for his younger, picture perfect NEW family.

‘This Is 40’ is an emotionally insightful, hysterically funny film. It touches on issues everyone can relate to…sex, family, marriage, parents, kids, growing old, and life in general and it does it with Apatow’s brilliant, spot on dialogue.

‘This Is 40’ opens in theatres, Friday, December 21, 2012…a perfect film for the holidays.