Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and– Whoa! Hey! Not Cool! (Featuring Nichole Rivera, on Twitter @nonsensenichole and Chase Nordengren, @ethosophical.)

Jay Frosting suffers through the February 24, 2014 issue of Us Weekly magazine because you shouldn't. Already forgotten: Biggest Loser, Kim Kardashian, Ronny Kobo, Lorde, RHOBH, Lady Gaga, North West, Jimmy Fallon, Game of Thrones.

Tons of people are stuck at the airport, so Saul and Oiva Lipscowitz figure it's time to return to their vaudeville roots and give them a show! Featuring Danny Jacobs and Seth Brown of The Understudies (www.theunderstudies.webs.com).

Jay skips past: Vanessa Hudgens, Emma Roberts, Katy Perry, John Legend, Aaron Eckhart, Kanye West, #tinywin, Robin Thicke, Johnny Depp, Jessica Simpson, Kate Hudson, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Macklemore, Jude Law, Sean Lowe, The Walking Dead, R. Kelly.

Americans for Prosperity for Americans has a rebuttal to the rebuttal to the rebuttal of Barack Obama's 2014 State of the Union address. Featuring Mike Roe (on Twitter @mikeroe) and Rebecca O'Malley (on Twitter @resilientrabbit).

Jay Frosting suffers through the February 3, 2014 issue of In Touch magazine so you don't have to. Largely ignored: Kaley Cuoco, Justin Bieber, Laura Linney, Liam Payne, Madonna, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Lawrence, Teen Mom 2, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Katy Perry.

At-risk youth in Michigan City have an opportunity to get off the streets and learn how to work retail in a rejuvenated mall run by the Noonan Group. The trouble is that the general public still isn't showing up, so they also have to be the customers? I dunno, something about vouchers and armed guards, but at least there's a video arcade.

Featuring power art-comedy couple Sara McHenry (on Twitter @yellowcardigan) and Tom McHenry (on Twitter @tommchenry). Sara makes Hey Pais and Tom makes ProofNewspaper.com and HorseMaster.

Jay managed to ignore Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, Kate Middleton, Miley Cyrus, Kellan Lutz, Jared Leto, Ryan Gosling, Emily Maynard, Party Down South, Prince William, Janele Monae, Kendall Jenner, Michelle Dockery, Kanye West, Jason Derulo, and Jenny McCarthy.

Jay Frosting suffers through the January 20, 2014 issue of Us Weekly because you shouldn't. Almost talked about: Sean Penn, Charlize Theron, Tori Spelling, mcdonalds, Clay Aiken, turnt up, Katie Holmes, Courteney Cox, Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, Liev Schreiber, Juan Pablo, The Bachelor, Cate Blanchett, Kellan Lutz.

Landon Kirksey and Scott Lowe join Jay to make up stories based on audience suggestions from our Facebook page. Thanks for "accordion," Rachael! Even though we didn't exactly... well, you'll see.