I have a theory. I believe that part of the reason adults are so miserable is that they have stopped learning. 

There is something special about being a kid. The awe of new things, wonder and learning - I’d argue it’s what makes being a kid so special. It’s why young people are so happy and engaged and have desires to do new things.

As we get older - we lose that. We have to meet the expectations of others. We have to present ourselves in certain ways to meet the needs of the Joneses and impress other people. We evolve from learning internally to showing externally. And that sucks.

A client recently told me that his favorite part about coaching is that it helped him realize that “he likes learning.” I thought that was pretty wise and well said. After all, we never think about what we are learning day to day. And the reason for that is because we have our routines.

When we get stuck - and by stuck I can mean any kind of rut - I tend to blame it on routine. 

Routine takes away learning. It’s the same thing over and over again. That may comfort people from time to time, but it doesn’t quite help us grow. 

The fun thing to note is that learning can take many forms. It’s not just learning a new language or a new skill - it could mean learning about yourself. What could be cooler or more important than that? I mean, come on … it’s you. 

I give an example on the podcast about running. Everyone tries to run and almost everyone quits running. Because it’s miserable. But the reason people find it miserable is that nobody takes the time to “learn” how to run. They just go out and try to crush a distance and focus on how miserable they feel doing it. 

Once I learned to run, it changed my whole perspective on it. Now I use running to help me think or de-stress - and I try to go every day. 

We can identify the desire to try something new or to make a change. People do it all the time. If one more person tells me that they want to write a book, I may jump off a bridge. But I know they won’t, because they haven’t learned to write. And that takes practice. Once people learn how to do something, in their way, then they can learn how to love it. 

I talk about inner dialogue often, and the power of choice. There is an endless possibility of everything in the world because there is an endless possibility of learning - not just books, but about yourself as well. Your values, your motivations. Why you say things you do, and why you are responding to things like you do. Examining and peeling back the onion on what gets you going is a learning journey in and of itself.

So with that, I would encourage you to get out and learn something. Maybe learn about why you flipped off that guy in traffic. Maybe learn about why grapefruits are called grapefruits (it’s because they grow like grapes on trees). I can’t think of a better way to spend your time … 

Enjoy!

How we choose to spend our time is what dictates everything about our situation today and in the future, so it's refreshing to remember that yes, time is a choice.

Ah yes, the dread of speaking in public. We are going to go there again - but not in the same way as before. I love getting feedback from listeners on what they want me to cover in a podcast - and advice on how to write a speech was interestingly a hot request. So let’s do it.

I consider the speech process to have three “events” or “phases.” 

The first phase is the fear of speaking; that gut wrench when someone asks you to give an update at a Town Hall. We all know it so well - it’s well documented, there is plenty of advice, the dead horse continues to be beaten. That’s something that takes work to overcome - and look back to this episode with speech coach Tony Figliola for some tremendous tips to help you overcome the fear. 

Another phase is the actual delivery of the speech, which you want to be engaging, enthusiastic and impressive. We’ll cover that in the future.

But in between is arguably the most important phase of the speech process: actually writing it. 

Maybe there is a fourth phase - a relief when it’s finally over - but that’s for another time. Back to writing. 

I think a big, underappreciated aspect of the fear of public speaking is the fear of the unknown. And part of the unknown is that we don’t know what to say. Finding the words to communicate what emotions or feelings we want to convey can be anxiety-inducing. It takes focus, practice and true, pen-to-paper work. 

Most people focus on delivery. Enthusiasm and connecting with the audience is vital for success. But no matter how dynamic a speaker you are, without the proper words and messaging, you are going to fall flat. 

Enter this week’s podcast guest Mike Greenly. 

Mike has made words his life’s work. He joins us this week on the podcast to talk about how words have power. “They are oxygen,” says Mike. And that oxygen gives life to your presentations. 

There is a lot to consider when writing a speech: Who is the audience? What do they need to hear? What do you *want* them to hear? What’s the medium? PowerPoint or no? Where in the hell do I even begin? 

Mike takes us back to basics. The first step, and most important part of speech writing, is finding the “north star” - that main takeaway that you want to convey. Everything else can link back to that. 

There are different types of speeches and occasions that require different writing styles and  presentations. A conference of 5,000 is very different from a board presentation of seven executives. Regardless of the situation, structuring a speech is telling a story. And how do your story and words bring your audience on a journey? 

Listen to the podcast for more Mike’s tips - he has plenty of them. And reach out to him below to learn more about what he does …

Mike Greenly, speech writer extraordinaire

Website: http://www.mikegreenly.com/

His Medium article on speech writing is here.

The state anthem of Virginia, which he wrote, can be heard here.

His song "Common Ground" can be heard here.

Obviously, I’m a believer in the value of coaching. I’m also a believer in the fact that there is a lot to learn from all corners of this pebble we call Earth, and each person has a unique perspective to bring to any kind of relationship. 

What makes that perspective unique is the culmination of our experiences over time. 

Alan Goldstein isn’t young, but they say with age comes wisdom. And if there is an example of a person who has had perspective changes over the years, you won’t find a better one than his. 

A self-described radicalized Vietnam Veteran, Alan is a retired dentist from the Bronx who now has a successful life coaching business.

There is a lot in that sentence for you to take in. 

Alan and I are both big on creating an inner dialogue and finding the questions you need to ask yourself to truly identify what it is that you believe. These beliefs then translate into actions.

Change is uncomfortable - we know this. But creating a healthy internal conversation is just one specific, tangible aspect of managing and responding to change in the best way you can. 

I’ve learned a lot from Alan, and I think you will, too.

Alan Goldstein

Alan's Website: http://www.coachingpractice.com/index.php

When it comes to being more productive, everyone has an opinion. 

Some people say get your work done in the morning, others get work done after lunch. Some say make a list. Others say to work in time blocks. 

The advice is far reaching, it often conflicts, and is based on opinion. Everyone’s model of productivity works for them, and then they proceed to inform you how to be like them. The issue is, not everyone is the same. 

Now, I love the tactical approach. Tips and tricks on how to operate, provided people can adjust and make them “their own,” can be very helpful. If nobody shared their learnings, then we wouldn’t learn. Simple as that. 

But moving beyond the tactical approach is finding a rhythm. And when people come to me with productivity challenges, often times they are talking about their “rhythm.” They want a system - something to get them operating at a higher level; a silver productivity bullet.

It may exist in Ithaca, NY.

In this week’s podcast, I chat with Nathan Walz, founder of Journey to Optimal Health, about light. Yes, light. 

Apparently, since I didn’t pay attention at all in my science classes growing up, light operates on a frequency that adjusts during the day. And your body responds to these frequencies as part of your circadian rhythm. Nathan chats about how tapping into your circadian rhythm (something we are all born with and is our natural way), can do wonders not just to productivity, but to mental health as well. 

I will admit, I was skeptical going in. Typically when I hear about natural things, I discount it, simply because I chalk it up to “hippy theory” or pseudo-science or imagination. 

Thing is, Nathan has the science to back this up. And it makes a lot of sense.

In the morning, as the sun is rising, light enters at frequencies and they change throughout the day. This tells your body to be tired or awake. 

We hear all the time about the dangers of technology and how it impacts our sleep. It’s because the blue light from our phones gives off the frequency of morning light - which screws up our circadian rhythm. LED lights do the same thing. And once he got rolling, I was learning about all kinds of things that affect my rhythm. 

It’s an interesting area of focus that I haven’t heard much of before chatting with him: using your circadian rhythm to be more productive. I like it, and I’m going to explore it more. 

But in the meantime, listen to the podcast and see what small changes you can make to eliminate “blue light” - from changing light bulbs to getting filtered glasses. 

Most people don’t want to hear it, but the mornings are most productive for many people, and light could play a big part in that. And while I’m not one to tell people what to do, hearing Nathan say that the idea of night owls vs. morning larks is bullshit … well that just makes me smile. 

So listen away, and tomorrow get up, watch the sun rise, and tackle the day!

Nathan's website: https://journeytooptimalhealth.com/

His Top 9 "biohacks": http://bit.ly/mitochondriac 

And his links to Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram

In a week celebrating a country's independence, let's focus on your own independence, and how your assumptions can limit your choices.

In case you haven’t heard, or if you were wondering why flags everywhere have a rainbow, June is Pride month.  It’s a celebration of the history and contributions that have been made by the LGBTQ community. And this year,

It’s no secret that our childhood experiences have massive effect on who we are as individuals. But how about the way that we treat others? This week I learned about Adverse Childhood Experiences, otherwise known as ACEs.

Today the topic is self-development. When we think of self-development, we instantly think of self-improvement or self-help. Those terms and ideas bring with them a subconscious implication that we are failing at something where we shouldn’t.

Wrapping up Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m happy to offer up my third and final installment of my Wellness, Organized series: Social Wellness. As mentioned in previous podcasts and posts - I decided to organize my thoughts on what wellness means...