Journal Gently: Spiritual Formation for Christian Women

Imagine this scenario with me. There's a lady from church who recently lost her husband. She used to teach your Sunday school class, so you have developed a relationship with her through that, even though it has been a while since you've had much of a conversation with her. God has laid it on your heart to encourage her, but you're just not sure how.

You're quiet.

You don't know what to say or how to approach her.

You don't know what she needs, and you're nervous to ask.

You don't even know if she remembers you.

You tell yourself that the ministry leaders or her friends are much better equipped to care for her in this season.

While some of those obstacles might be things we all struggle with, I bet they are especially true of introverts.

Last week, we spoke about 5 creative ways to encourage an introvert, but today, we are turning the tables a little bit and talking about how to encourage and care for others as an introvert. In other words, if you resonate with being quiet or needing time alone or not liking larger crowds of people, then what are some good ways for you to reach out to them when they are hurting?

Kari

RESOURCES:

• Courageous Care Masterclass: A 4-session audio class that walks you through the C.A.R.E. framework.

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>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

With it being fall, I know it is a natural season for change. Summer is coming to an end, kids are starting school, and some students are heading off to college. Routines are getting adjusted and Bible studies might be starting back up. The relaxed pace of summer is giving way to a more structured lifestyle, with more responsibilities—or at least different ones.

But there are other kinds of transition, too. Maybe you are starting to care for a family member who can no longer care for themselves. Maybe someone you love just moved to a nursing home. Maybe you moved to a new house, or a new city, or a new country.

Perhaps you've stepped down from a volunteer role at your church, or lost your job, or are dealing with a new health concern. Or maybe, you're just facing the fact that you are getting older and your body isn't quite what it used to be.

So here are 13 journal prompts for any season of change or transition.

Kari

>> JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR SEASONS OF CHANGE

http://lovedoesthat.org/seasonsofchange

>> SIGN UP FOR JOURNAL GENTLY

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

If you have been listening to the podcast for any length of time, it is probably no surprise to you that I am an introvert. A pretty big introvert, at that. And I know that either you relate to me, or perhaps you are an extravert but have a close friend who is an introvert, and maybe there's a lot about them that you don't quite understand.

Today, I wanted to share 5 creative ways that you can encourage an introvert in your life—whether they are going through a difficult season or if you just wanted to show them some care.

Now, please realize that even though I'm an introvert and your friend/colleague/family member is also an introvert, it doesn't mean we're exactly alike. What might be encouraging to me might be frustrating for him or her. So consider my ideas and maybe use them as a springboard to brainstorm other ideas, but prayerfully discern how you can be an encouragement to them personally.

Okay, here we go!

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• 92 Ways to Encourage and Support Others (blog article)

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>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

Several years ago, my family and I got to raise a tiny caterpillar. For weeks, we hunted down milkweed to feed it. We watched it grow. And we saw it create its little chrysalis.

We even got the blessing of watching it come out of the chrysalis, and caught most of it on video. It was such a beautiful moment.

While our little pet didn't have any major trouble, we've all heard, I'm sure, that if you try to help a struggling butterfly out of its chrysalis, its wings will never be strong enough to fly. Well, there are times when that happens for us humans, too.

When we see someone who is struggling, our first instinct is often to jump in and help, but sometimes we do this to the other person's detriment. It seems only a seasoned encourager knows when NOT to help. In other words, they know when to let the person do it for themselves.

While it appears heartless, selfish, or insensitive, it is really a deeper love than one might imagine.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." It's followed by several examples. Perhaps the most relevant verses here are: "A time to embrace and a time to turn away… A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak."

These things are all good–in their own time.

So, when is it a time to help and when is it a time to refrain from helping?

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Ecclesiastes 3
• Galatians 6:1-5
• Jay Holland article/episode: Boulders, Backpacks, and Boundaries
• Book: Being There, by Dave Furman
• Episode 43: When Helping Hurts: Establishing Boundaries When Caring for Others with Counselor Nicole Fryling

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>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

Today, I want to talk with you about something I have sensed happening both online and in real life interactions. It's something I notice because it's something I have experienced in the past. So when I saw it occurring, I knew it was something I wanted to talk about.

And that is the fear of being misunderstood.

I see it when there's an important topic we are discussing with someone else, and maybe we don't know what to say, or maybe we're talking about something, but others don't seem to get our point. They just have this confused look on their face.

And sometimes, we try to explain it in a different way, but that makes them even more confused.

And then maybe they ask some questions, but you don't know how to answer them.

And so you get frustrated because you can't seem to communicate clearly, and they get frustrated because they want to understand, but they can't. And it's just not good. We're all frustrated and we're at a standstill and maybe it even puts an obstacle between you and the other person.

Have you ever been there?

I want to share a few tips with you today about what you can try to do to minimize these situations or to help you work through them. Because while there are times you can just let it go, there are other times when you need to help the other person understand what you are saying, even if they don't agree with it.

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." (James 1:5 NLT)
• Episode 15: How to Decline Someone's Offer of Help Gracefully

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>> Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you process grief and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

As those who care for others, who seek to encourage them during difficult seasons, I know there are many times when we have to make difficult decisions.

We might need to decide where someone we care about is going to live: in a nursing home, at their home with health care stopping in, or at our house. We might need to decide whether or not to have the surgery that may or may not work. We might need to decide if we're going to give up this aspect of our life for now so that we can provide extra support for someone we love. Or maybe even if we're going to take on extra work so they have the finances they need to cover medical costs.

Maybe we feel the need to move somewhere, or to pull our kids out of school, or to put them into public school, or to let go of a friendship, or to stop serving at church for a little while.

There are also the more everyday things like, "How can I pray for her today?" "Should I reach out to her today or give her some space?" "What can I say or do to help her?"

My friends, there are so many questions we need to bring to the Lord for discernment and guidance. And God is faithful. He will lead us to the right path for us. Because what's right for you in this season of your life may not be right for me in this season of mine. While there are some absolutes as we follow Christ—love your neighbor, take care of your family—the way we carry these out look differently. And so we must take time to discern what God is asking us to do.

As we bring these questions before Him, there are also three prayers we can offer to Him so that we can hear Him more clearly: the prayer for indifference, the prayer for wisdom, and the prayer of quiet trust. Let's look at each one more closely.

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Book: Ruth Haley Barton, Pursuing God's Will Together
• "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." (James 1:5 NLT)
• Episode 24: An Example in Spiritual Discernment and Decision Making: Going "All In" With Love Does That

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

I've got to tell you, there are some days where I really struggle to sense God's presence. Sometimes, life just feels empty and the daily tasks can overwhelm—I've got to get dishes done, and the laundry, and the kids need baths, and this needs done, and that's due tomorrow… and it's just so much. And I lose sight of God being there with me.

Now, we know it's not always about experiencing Him in some fantastical way, right? We know, based on Scripture, that He is with us, whether we can sense His presence or not.

But sometimes, I just long to know that He is near.

And one of the ways I have found to consistently put myself in God's presence is to go outside.

Jeremy Stefano wrote, "The beauty and splendor of creation stir and enrapture the heart, shaping the humble soul in wonder and gratitude."

So today, I wanted to share more about how God shows up in nature and how we can intentionally make ways to go outside and experience Him—even when life is hard.

Kari

>> REGISTER FOR JOURNAL GENTLY: An 8-week program designed to help you use writing as a way to process hurt, grief, and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

QUOTES + BIBLE VERSES:

• "The beauty and splendor of creation stir and enrapture the heart, shaping the humble soul in wonder and gratitude." (Jeremy Stefano)
• "…in dealing with birds, animals, flower and all other forms of natural life, we are perhaps, nearer to the Creator than in any other branch of science; for the natural world is the expression of God's personality in a form that is within the reach of all of us to comprehend in some measure. And is not the natural world one of the greatest proofs that there is a God?" (G. Dowton, "The Charm of Nature Study")
• "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature." (Romans 1:20 NLT)

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

You've heard me mention Journal Gently a few times on recent episodes, but I haven't really taken the time to dive deep into what it's about, what it looks like, and things like that.

I know many of you are wondering, "Should I join? Is it a good fit for me?" My hope is to provide you with some questions to help you figure out if the program is a good fit for you right now in this season you're in.

Here we go!

Kari

>> SIGN UP FOR JOURNAL GENTLY

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

Today, I want to talk about a key idea that we really need to keep in mind as we care for our hurting friends, and that is… God is the one responsible for the healing, and we are there to support God in the work He is doing.

Let me explain.

You and I don't have the power to heal people from sickness or disease. That's God's part. However, you and I can support Him in His work by doing what He has given us to do:

• taking someone to their doctor's appointments
• assisting them with the financial strain of having a chronic illness or disease
• praying for them
• sending them notes or calling them to let them know we care
• providing meals or childcare, if needed

God calls us to get involved. It's our ministry of encouragement that helps people through the hard situations. And it gives us the opportunity to point people toward Him.

Let's learn what this might look like…

Kari

>> Register for Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you use writing as a way to process hurt, grief, and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Episode 49 – Finding Your Stretcher Bearers: The People Who Can Help Carry You Through a Difficult Season
• Mark 2:1-12 – Jesus Heals a Paralyzed Man
• "He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds." (Psalm 147:3 NLT)
• Ezekiel 34 – The Good Shepherd

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

When you have a friend who is in the thick of it, who is feeling overwhelmed by all the things, who is exhausted at the thought of returning all those messages they have received from family members and friends from church… perhaps you can offer to serve as their communication liaison.

A liaison is someone who works to manage the interaction between two people or parties. In this case, as a communication liaison, you would serve as the person who receives information from your hurting friend and then shares appropriate information with others who might be asking.

As Proverbs 17:17 (CEV) says, "A friend is there to help, in any situation, and relatives are born to share our troubles."

We don't have to go through our difficult seasons alone—and neither do our friends. So today, let's take a look at how we can help our hurting friend by serving as their communication liaison.

Kari

>> Register for Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you use writing as a way to process hurt, grief, and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Episode 13 – How to Respond When Someone Asks About Your Hurting Friend
• "A friend is there to help, in any situation, and relatives are born to share our troubles." (Proverbs 17:17 CEV)
• "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find the grace to help us when we need it most." (Hebrews 4:16 NLT)

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup