Journal Gently: Spiritual Formation for Christian Women

We all need moments when we pause to reflect. When we consider deeply what we have been feeling and experiencing. When we can ask God about the things stirring in our hearts and souls.

If you were part of the Writing with God retreat, you know that it's important for us to pay attention to the things going on around us, to pay attention to the things going on inside of us, to pay attention to where God is moving, and to stop and take notice. To linger.

And that's what I'm doing with these questions. I paid attention to something in my physical environment that is leading me to pay attention to how God is moving in my life. I am noticing and naming the things He stirs within me. And I'm talking to Him about it.

And I'm inviting you to do the same.

Kari

>> Register for Journal Gently: An 8-week program designed to help you use writing as a way to process hurt, grief, and trauma with God

http://lovedoesthat.org/journalgently

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• "So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you…" (Colossians 3:5 NLT)
• "For it is no empty word for you, but your very life." (Deuteronomy 32:47 ESV)
• Article: The Mortification of Sin

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Today, we get to talk with Bible teacher Mariel Davenport about how to tend your soul, especially during difficult seasons of grief and hardship.

You'll hear a bit of her story as we get started in our conversation together, but just know that Mariel was an atheist who was transformed by the Word of God, and she teaches women how to turn to God's Word to tend to their soul.

Now, if you listen to any of the bonus episodes, you know we often explore spiritual practices that help us draw close to the Lord when going through difficult seasons. We want to turn to Him, to trust Him, to worship Him, to receive His care and guidance and strength.

And that's one reason Mariel is on the podcast today. Her TEND method of Bible reading is simple and approachable, even when life is hard.

Today, she will describe her TEND method and then walk us through an example of what it might look like in a personal Bible study time.

My friends, we must not forget that God's Word has the power to change our lives. It has the power to restore our souls. It is living and active. It is life-giving. So even though we may not be able to do in-depth reading or study the Bible every day, we still want to make sure we are reading it and thinking about what it says.

And Mariel's method helps us do just that. So, without further adieu, allow me to introduce you to Mariel Davenport…

Kari

MEET MARIEL:

As an atheist transformed by the Word of God, Mariel Davenport knows the power of seeking God through His Word. She is passionate about equipping others to tend their soul by the Word using her TEND method, via Scripture journals, Soul Tending Conferences, and virtual Tend Gathering Bible studies.

Married for nearly 25 years and a retired homeschool mama, Mariel enjoys salsa from her garden as she pursues the Gardener who tends her soul. You are invited to tend your soul with her free booklet, Tools for Tending your Soul, accessible through her website marieldavenport.com and catch her bi-weekly podcast, Tending Your Soul, wherever you listen to podcasts. Keep tending your soul with Mariel on Instagram @marieldavenport.

CONNECT WITH MARIEL:

• Website
• Instagram
• Attend the Online Gathering in July

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Bonus episodes are designed to be a space for us to explore some spiritual practices together. And these are so important for us, whether we are the ones caring for others, or we are the ones going through a difficult season. We need to cling to the Lord, to seek Him in the midst of the hurt and the pain.

One spiritual practice is written prayers—reading prayers that others have written. I've found that this sometimes helps me find language to express something that I have been unable to express on my own. Or they reveal truths or desires within me that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

The prayer I'm going to share with you is one I wrote for Gritty Faith magazine, volume 14, which is written to share the stories of those who are in the trenches, clinging to hope found in Jesus. Jessy Paulson, the editor of the magazine, was on the podcast in episode 50 to share about her own story of grief and loss. I encourage you to listen to that when you get the chance.

Today, I'm going to pause and offer us a bit of silence, then read through the prayer, and end in silence once more. I invite you to linger with the Lord as long as He leads. After all, the prayer is about being in the silence with Him. So lean into that as much as you can, and re-enter daily life when you are ready.

Perhaps you might even stick with a word or phrase that resonates with your soul, and use that as a sort of breath prayer throughout the rest of the week.

So here is the prayer, In the Quiet.

Kari

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place." (Mark 6:31)
• Episode 50: Gritty Faith in the Midst of Grief with Prayer Artist Jessy Paulson
• Gritty Faith Magazine: http://purposegrit.com

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>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognizing God's presence in the midst of our pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

As women, we've had this metaphor held up before us. As a thermometer, we read the temperature, as it were, of the room we're in. We can tell who is having a good day, who is having a bad day, and the general atmosphere of the room—whether we're at home with our family, at church for Bible study, or at work in a meeting.

Often, we've been encouraged to be thermostats, especially in the home. Instead of reading the temperature of the room, we're supposed to "set it" by our words and actions. And in this way, we can change the atmosphere into one of peace or fun or whatever it is we feel the room needs.

A recent article by Mary Carver, which I'll link to in the show notes, got me thinking about how each of these—a thermometer and a thermostat—is useful for caring for others, just in different ways.

Today, I wanted to explore that idea with you.

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Article: The Gift—and Superpower—of Being an Empath, by Mary Carver
• Article: I Set the Thermostat: How a Woman's Attitude Affects the Whole House, by Rebekah Fox
• "Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God…" (2 Corinthians 2:15 NLT)

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

What happens in those seasons where you feel like you don't have anyone there for you? Or when it seems like nobody cares?

When your friends move away?

When your trust has been betrayed?

When you've asked for help but haven't received it?

When you've asked for prayer and no one prays with you?

When you don't even know how to express what you're feeling inside?

What happens if you're a ministry leader and don't feel you can talk to others in your church?

What happens if what you've been through feels too shaming to share with someone else?

What happens if you've been pushing people away for the past few years, and now that you're ready to let someone in, no one is left nearby to reach out to?

There are two stories in the Bible that I want to look at today. Listen in…

Kari

BIBLE VERSES:

• 1 Samuel 30:1-6
• 1 Samuel 23:16-17
• 2 Timothy 4:16-17
• Isaiah 41:10

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Hey, my friends. Welcome back to Let's Encourage One Another. Today, we are going to talk about one of the most common things we experience when we have a friend who is hurting.

"I don't know what to say."

It is a problem we all struggle with when someone we care about is hurting. We're afraid of being the one who messes it up. We don't want to be the person they remember as saying the off-handed comment at the funeral. We don't want to push our friend away because of some careless words that slipped out of our mouths.

So when others create these lists about "say this, don't say that," we tend to cling to them like some sort of lifeline, memorizing the phrases so we can speak them the next time round.

Now, these lists are designed to help us recognize that what we mean to be encouraging might actually be received as hurtful by the other person. It can help us see things from the other perspective, help us be more intentional with our words.

But there are four problems I see with these lists, and I want to talk about them because there are some important truths that they are missing or don't take into consideration.

Kari

QUOTES + BIBLE VERSES:

• "It matters less what you say than that you say something." (Nancy Guthrie, What Grieving People Wish You Knew)
• Romans 8:28 (NLT): "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Today I am talking with fitness coach Carmen James about her journey with cancer and how she has—or has not—experienced God through it.

Perhaps you're a bit taken aback by the combination of the words "cancer" and "fitness coach." And Carmen was, too. It was never something she thought she would have to face. Yet it was something that came knocking on her door anyway.

Throughout our conversation, Carmen and I talk about things like when others worry about you because you're sick, the power of prayer and supportive relationships, practical tips on how to walk with a friend through cancer or illness, financial hardships of being sick, and making difficult decisions like whether to continue working.

What you are about to hear is open and raw. Carmen shares details about how she discovered her cancer, what thoughts went through her mind at different parts of the journey, and how she has hope even in the face of what the doctors have called incurable cancer. We did have a few minor technical issues on our call, but nothing that takes away from the content of our conversation.

If you are currently going through cancer or have a friend going through cancer, I hope Carmen's vulnerability in sharing her story lets you know that you are not alone, that you can find companionship with her and with those around you. Yet I also understand if this conversation might not be the best thing for you to listen to today. And if that's the case, I give you permission to return to it when the time is right.

As always, this is a sacred conversation, my friends. A holy moment where God shows up and lets us know that He is there—even in the pain.

Kari

MEET CARMEN:

Hi, I'm Carmen! I have 35 years of experience in the wellness and fitness industry, am the creator of 2 Fit 2 Quit and Desperately Seeking Healthy & Happy, an online lifestyle and wellness program that helps women lose the physical, mental, and emotional weight to end their relentless battle with the scale, restore their confidence, and live their BEST life. I hold certifications in wellness coaching, personal training, food psychology, and group fitness instruction, and am also a Beachbody Coach. My holistic approach to wellness and fitness creates a uniquely personalized and elevated experience for my clients. Leveraging the tools of technology, I deliver life-changing transformations to ANY client, ANY where—serving women who are desperately seeking to be healthy and happy from all over the country!

CONNECT WITH CARMEN:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Free Facebook Group

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Today we are going to talk about something that all of us deal with, and that is fear and anxiety.

I have to admit that there are times when I get so afraid of something that my thoughts just start going crazy. I can start thinking about all kinds of scenarios that just get me worked up even more, afraid and anxious and restless, and it just is not good.

Perhaps for you, it's worrying about a medical diagnosis, or the safety of your children, or protecting your home from natural disasters. Whatever it is, fear and anxiety can cause quite a mess in our hearts, can't they?

Our bodies get tense. Our minds race. Our breathing grows shallow. It's hard to focus and remember what is true.

What in the world can we do in that moment of fear to calm down and point our eyes to Christ?

I want to offer you a breath prayer that I use in times like this.

Kari

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Episode 63: Using Christian Spiritual Practices to Draw Closer to God with Blogger and Writer Celia Miller
• Psalm 23:4 (NLT): "…I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me…"

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>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognizing God's presence in the midst of our pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

Today, we are going to talk about a problem that so many of us struggle with—and it's actually a two-fold problem: saying no to someone's invitation to help and then also accepting no as an answer to your offer of help.

But why are we talking about this in the first place? I mean, do we really have a hard time saying no to others when we need to? When they offer something we don't really need? Are we really okay when we offer help to someone else and they decline?

Here's why I bring this up: when I go to upload my podcast episode for you to listen to, I can see the top downloaded episodes over the past month or year or even since I started the podcast. And recently, when I went to do this, I saw that the top episode had shifted.

What now takes the top place is episode 15, How to Decline Someone's Offer of Help Gracefully. I thought that was interesting and mentioned it to my husband.

But then upon further review, I saw that the third most downloaded episode is the one right before it, episode 14, How to Respond When a Friend Won't Let You Help.

And it was then I realized that we struggle with this on both sides: we have a hard time saying no to someone and we also have a hard time hearing no from someone else.

Let's explore why…

Kari

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Episode 14: How to Respond When a Friend Won't Let You Help
• Episode 15: How to Decline Someone's Offer of Help Gracefully
• Romans 1:12 (NLT): "When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours."
• Colossians 4:12 (NIV): "Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured."
• Romans 15:30 (NLT): "I urge you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to join in my struggle by praying to God for me. Do this because of your love for me, given to you by the Holy Spirit."

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Some of my favorite episodes on other podcasts are when coaches let you listen into a live session. You can hear them as they are talking with someone about an issue or problem that they want to figure out.

And I knew that this was something that I would love to incorporate on my own podcast as a spiritual director. What better way to give you a taste of what it's like than to let you listen in to a session?

But I ran into two problems. The first problem is that a spiritual direction session is a lot more personal and vulnerable than a coaching session often is. Because it deals with matters of the heart and soul. Places where we are struggling. Questions and desires we are bringing before God. Who would possibly be willing to have their spiritual direction session aired publicly for all to hear?

The second problem is that I offer written spiritual direction. So there really isn't a live session that I could just hit record on, even if I could find someone willing to share.

What I've come up with is this: a sample written spiritual direction session that I have crafted based on very real problems and how I might respond in spiritual direction.

For this, I have written both parts as a way to let you peek into what written spiritual direction might look like, realizing, of course, that personalities and writing styles come out with each person seeking direction. Some people write shorter emails, some longer. It really just depends.

My friend Teresa Huff, from the Grant Writing Simplified Podcast, has graciously agreed to read the directee's emails while I read my response as the director.

Kari

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

• Episode 25: What is Spiritual Direction, How Do I Know If I Need It, and Other Frequently Asked Questions
• Episode 33: Written Spiritual Direction: How Letters and Messages Can Create Space for God
• Episode 61: Perceiving God's Presence and Love with Spiritual Director and Author Sharon Garlough Brown
• Episode 63: Using Christian Spiritual Practices to Draw Closer to God with Blogger and Writer Celia Miller
• Learn more about Teresa Huff and the Grant Writing Simplified Podcast at teresahuff.com

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care and spiritual formation practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup