Journal Gently: Spiritual Formation for Christian Women

What do you do when you feel like you don't have a purpose? Or maybe let me ask it this way, Do you feel like you are living life on purpose? Do you struggle to find meaning with the work you do—whether that's a traditional job, a ministry you lead, or even caring for your own family and loved ones?

I have seen, time and again, that when people feel purposeless, they struggle to have hope. They struggle to find meaning.

Have you ever felt that way? And if so, what do you do in those moments?

To help me answer those questions, I've invited Arris Charles to join me on the podcast. Arris is a Life Purpose Coach, helping women not only identify their God-given purpose but also how to live that out on a daily basis. She has so much wisdom to share here, and I've got to tell you, I learned that we have a lot in common as it relates to being encouragers and writers!

During our conversation, we cover questions like,

• How does knowing our purpose impact our daily life?
• Do we have one big purpose or lots of little ones, or what does that look like?
• How do we discover our purpose in the first place?
• What happens when you don't like what you feel God is calling you to do?
• What do we do when we're jealous of someone else's purpose, or they are jealous of ours?

Plus, she offers us some very practical examples that helps us flesh out this whole idea of purpose. Especially at the end, so be sure to listen for that.

If this episode resonates with you, be sure to grab her Purposeful Life Assessment and Reflection Guide. The link is in the show notes.

Kari

MEET ARRIS:

The founder of Live Inspired by Purpose, Arris Charles, is devoted to equipping women to step into a new extraordinary vision for their lives. As a Life Purpose Coach, natural encourager, and writer, she has "walked the talk" of pursuing purpose as she walked away from a multifaceted corporate career as a successful engineer, project manager, and corporate trainer to explore her true passions.

Even as a stay-at-home mom, she followed the dreams in her heart to serve in a non-profit ministry while also building her business as an entrepreneur. Arris specializes in helping Christian women in midlife to pursue their God-given purpose in their daily life and as their unique calling so they can live with more passion, confidence and impact.

Coaching for over 16 years, Arris walks alongside her clients with unwavering belief and constant support to help them stop settling for just going through the motions of life and live true to who they are and make the difference in the world they were born to make.

CONNECT WITH ARRIS:

• Free Resource: Purposeful Living Assessment and Reflection Guide
• Facebook
• YouTube

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CONNECT WITH KARI:

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Today, I am going to be sharing with you a session I led at the Women's Ministries Conference offered by Small Church Summits. I spoke specifically to women's ministries leaders about ministering to the gals in their church who were going through a difficult season, such as grief, depression, anxiety, or caring for an aging parent.

This is a true heart-to-heart conversation. I want so desperately to help leaders understand what it might be like for someone they know to be going through a trying time.

My friend, we as leaders struggle when we see you hurting and we want to help you, we want to come alongside of you, but we don't know how because we don't see you at church. Many times, you can't come for a good reason. And so this is my encouragement for leaders to find ways to reach out to you and support you.

If you are listening and you're not a women's ministries leader or small group leader, I still invite you into this conversation because I try my best to offer some perspective about what it might be like for someone you care about who is hurting. And I give some specific questions to ask at the end about how you can support her in this season of loss or hurt.

Kari

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Shop Now: Save 50% on all digital resources, including the Courageous Care Masterclass, now through March 31, 2022, with coupon code "oneyear"
• Episode 12: Caring for Hurting Kids at Your Church: 3 Powerful But Simple Things You Can Do
• Free Resource: Breaking Through the Fear of Reaching Out
• The Creative Little Church (Small Church Summits) with Laurie Acker

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>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

Today I want to conclude a sort of mini-series about journaling and reflection with a reflection of my own, and it's going to center around a personal retreat I took a couple of weeks ago.

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 27:8 (NLT), which says, "My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" And to me, that speaks of an invitation from God and spend time with Him, to talk with Him about what's weighing on my heart, and to hear what He might have to say back to me.

So I want to share about my retreat with you, and then I'm going to take a few moments to reflect on it with you.

But I want to do more than share about my own experience. I want to help you create a retreat experience of your own.

As someone who is going through a difficult season, or as someone who is helping someone else through their difficult season, it is so incredibly important that we take extended time with God when we can. We need to be able to press pause, sort to speak, and linger with Him. To seek Him. To share our heart with Him. And to allow Him to share His heart with us.

So let me start by walking you through my personal retreat day and offering some reflections on it, and then I'll provide you with some tips for creating a spiritual retreat of your own.

Kari

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Episode 54: 4 Simple Ways to Start (or Keep) Journaling
• Episode 55: Reflection and Journaling as a Lifelong Practice with Business Strategist Elizabeth McCravy
• Caroline Williams Yoga: "Day 1: 30 Days of Yoga video"
• Kelly Minter's Bible Study on 2 Corinthians: "All Things New"
• Book: "The Well-Watered Woman" by Gretchen Saffles
• Shop: Tear Bottle
• Devotional from Celia Miller: "You Are Beloved"
• Shop: Retreat Guide: "When God Says No"

QUOTES AND BIBLE VERSES:

• "My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'" (Psalm 27:8 NLT)
• "Retreat in the context of the spiritual life is an extended time apart for the purpose of being with God and giving God our full and undivided attention; it is, as Emilie Griffin puts it, 'a generous commitment to our friendship with God.'" (Ruth Haley Barton)

This week, we are going to dive deeper into our conversation about journaling and reflection as I talk with business strategist and podcast host Elizabeth McCravy.

As I have listened to Elizabeth's podcast episodes, I have seen how she so naturally incorporates reflection and journaling into her everyday life, both personally and for her business. It is just something that she does so well. And so I asked her if she would be willing to talk more with us about that.

We got to talk about the big picture of why we journal, plus dig into the nitty gritty of what it actually looks like on a daily or weekly basis. I love how Elizabeth dispels some of the myths we have about journaling.

Plus, Elizabeth was gracious enough to share about her experience reflecting and journaling when it came to two major events in her life: the birth of her son and the loss of her dad.

I've said this before, but you guys know how incredibly difficult it can be to talk about those hard places in our lives. And so many of my guests have been so open and vulnerable about their experiences, and Elizabeth is no different. This is a sacred conversation and I know you won't take it lightly. Please be sure to take the time to thank her for her willingness to share.

There are so many incredible truths packed into our conversation. Be sure to grab some paper and a pen so you can write them down. Are you ready? Here is my conversation with Elizabeth…

Kari

MEET ELIZABETH:

Elizabeth McCravy believes that smart strategy combined with plenty of personality leads to a thriving business. As a web designer, podcast host, and business coach, she spends her days designing gorgeous, strategic website templates from her home in Nashville and shares all her business strategy tips and tricks on her show – the Breakthrough Brand Podcast. She's helped over 700 business owners highlight their value and show off their skills through her library of beautifully designed and easily customizable website templates, and she's on a mission to help every entrepreneur create a strategic, personality-filled website. Elizabeth is a Showit Top Designer and a go-to resource for the online business community. When she's not teaching or designing, you can find her bingeing Law and Order: SVU, putting her certified yoga-teacher skills to work, or nose-deep in the latest mystery novel.

CONNECT WITH ELIZABETH:

• Website
• Instagram
• Podcast: Breakthrough Brand Podcast
• Podcast Episode 23: Morning Journal Prompts to Start Your Day with Intention
• Shop Website Templates

CONNECT WITH KARI:

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

For those of us who are drawn to journaling, whether we are new to it or have been at it for years, there are still some obstacles and questions that come up.

• I don't have time to journal.
• I don't know what to write about.
• Writing by hand is hard for me. Is there a way to journal where I don't have write it out by hand?
• I started journaling, but it's hard for me to make it a regular practice.
• What if I don't want anyone else to read it?

So today, while I can't dive into everything there is to know about journaling and how you can practice it, I want to dive into those first two obstacles: I don't have time to journal and I don't know what to write about.

To do that, I am going to offer you four simple ways to start, or keep, journaling. My hope is that you'll see there are literally dozens of ways to incorporate journaling into your life, and some really don't take that much time. You can fit them into the tiny spaces of your day, even with a 3-to-5-minute break, or even tack it on to something you are already doing.

Let's dive in,

Kari

>> Written Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Scribe Bible Study and Workshop (Scripture writing)
• Free Grief Journal Prompts
• Journaling Workshop: 3 Ways to Encounter God on the Pages of Your Journal
• Emily P. Freeman, The Next Right Thing Guided Journal
• The Daily Kairos Journal
• Episode 4: Spiritual Practices to Help You Learn to Hear God's Voice

QUOTES AND BIBLE VERSES:

• "We don't learn from our experiences. We learn from our reflection upon our experiences." (Trevor Hudson)
• "Be thankful in all circumstances…" (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT)
• "It is good to give thanks to the Lord." (Psalm 92:1 NLT)

This is another bonus episode, where we tend to focus on spiritual practices and faith. And in today's episode, I am sharing a message I gave a couple of weeks ago at my church.

As you can see from the title, this focuses on Ezekiel's vision of the Valley of Dry Bones, and it piggybacks on what we are learning in the Soul Care Group this month. We are looking at this passage and we are exploring the SOAP Bible study method, breath prayers, and art journaling. If you want to join us there, you can sign up at lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup.

This was a really meaningful passage for me as I entered into it, and I know it will be for you, too. I leave in the pauses and the time of reflection at the end because I want you to experience it with us. I will end with a prayer, so you'll know then that it's over.

Let's dive in.

Kari

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Ezekiel 37:1-14
• Song: Dry Bones

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOD GOES SILENT?

As an introvert, silence is your strength. You cherish quiet moments. Time alone replenishes your soul like nothing else can.

But what happens when God goes silent? When you raise your questions of grief and hurt and doubt—and He doesn't answer?

Dear one, what if your very quietness has positioned you to experience the presence of God in a totally new way?

What if in these seasons of silence, God is actually speaking to you louder than He has ever spoken to you before?

If you ready to press into God in this season of silence, I invite you to fill out the form at lovedoesthat.org/apply. I use a modern-day letter writing style of spiritual direction perfect for Christian women drawn to quiet spaces and written words.

Throughout our correspondence, I will compassionately listen to your story, gently ask questions that point you to God, and help you discover personal spiritual practices that invite you to stay close to Him. Start now at lovedoesthat.org/apply.

Today, I have the pleasure of introducing you to certified coach and author Rayna Neises. Rayna is my go-to resource when it comes to those who are in a season of caregiving.

What is caregiving? It's simply a season of caring for someone else. For some of you, this means caring for a child with special needs, for others it means taking care of someone who is chronically ill or after they have surgery and need someone helping to take care of them. In Rayna's case, it was caring for her dad after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

I feel like so many of us miss opportunities to love our friends well through this season of caring for a loved one. Because so much of their time is taken up by caring for an aging parent or another loved one, it's easy for us to let feelings of jealousy or bitterness get in the way. We miss our time with them, sure. We miss the way they used to serve at church. It makes sense. But friends, do you have any idea what they are going through? How much their life might have changed?

I am so excited for Rayna to share more of her story with us, and you guys, she packs in so many practical stories and examples… so much wisdom. So whether you are a friend of someone in a caregiving season, or if you are the one caring for someone else right now, you will learn so much from my conversation with her.

Let's dive in to my conversation with Rayna Neises.

Kari

MEET RAYNA:

Rayna Neises author of No Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season, ICF certified coach, PAC Trainer, the host of "A Season of Caring" podcast, and speaker who is passionate about supporting daughters and sons in a season of caring with their aging parents.

Rayna lost both of her parents to Alzheimer's disease twenty years apart. After her season of caring for her dad through his journey, she founded A Season of Caring Coaching where she offers regret-free resources, encouragement, and support aimed at preventing family caregivers from aimlessly wandering through this important season of life.

Rayna lives on a farm in southeast Kansas with her husband, Ron, and small pack of adorable dogs. She is the baby of her family, but most would never guess that. She is a former teacher and enjoys crafts of all kinds and spending time with her grandkids most of all.

CONNECT WITH RAYNA:

• Website – go here for information on her book, podcast, support groups, and coaching services
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Resource: Tips for Finding Peace in a Full Life
• Caring Quiz

CONNECT WITH KARI:

>> Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

These past few days, there has been a lot of talk in my world about music. Music as one way to worship God. Music we miss hearing on the radio. How we all like different types and styles of music.

People also talk about how they use music to set their mood for whatever activity they are doing, so if they need a power hour at work, maybe they use energetic and upbeat music to keep their energy up and moving at a quick pace. Or if they are reading quietly, they might have soft piano music playing in the background.

But we can also use music when we are in seasons of hurt. Today, we are going to dive into the power of music and the role it can play when we are going through difficult times—whether we are grieving, struggling with depression, caring for someone else, parenting littles, having problems in our marriage, dealing with anxiety or fear, or any host of things. I'll also walk you through some things when it comes to creating your own playlist of songs to listen to when you are hurting.

Let's dive in,

Kari

>> Spiritual Direction: Recognize God's presence in your pain

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Article: Six Ways Story Helps with Grief (from the Huntsman Cancer Institute)
• Bonus Episode: Talking to Your Soul

QUOTES AND BIBLE VERSES:

• "Let us find a good musician to play the harp whenever the tormenting spirit troubles you. He will play soothing music, and you will soon be well again…. And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away (1 Samuel 16:16, 23 NLT)

A couple of weeks ago, in episode 49, we talked about finding your stretcher bearers, those people who can carry you through difficult and challenging seasons like illness, grief, and depression.

But how do you choose who to go to for help? Who do you choose as your stretcher bearers?

Today, I want to narrow in on finding those safe people we can trust and depend on. What makes them safe? How do we discern who is safe and who is not?

While there is no definitive answer, I want to suggest some guidelines that will help us pray through who to turn to when we are hurting.

As you listen, I invite you to consider which characteristics are most important to you. Also, are there any that I didn't include that you want to be sure to add to your own list?

Kari

>> Soul Care Group: Monthly email with soul care practices

http://lovedoesthat.org/soulcaregroup

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Episode 49: Finding Your Stretcher Bearers: The People Who Can Help Carry You Through a Difficult Season
• Episode 7: 5 Things to Say When You Don't Know What to Say with Laura Howe
• Episode 11: How to Ask for Help When You Need It
• Free Guide: How to Ask for Help When You Need It

QUOTES AND BIBLE VERSES:

• "Over and over again, I am struck by the transforming significance and profound simplicity of the ministry of listening." (Jean Stairs, Listening for the Soul)
• "A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence." (Proverbs 11:13, NLT)

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOD GOES SILENT?

As an introvert, silence is your strength. You cherish quiet moments. Time alone replenishes your soul like nothing else can.

But what happens when God goes silent? When you raise your questions of grief and hurt and doubt—and He doesn't answer?

Dear one, what if your very quietness has positioned you to experience the presence of God in a totally new way?

What if in these seasons of silence, God is actually speaking to you louder than He has ever spoken to you before?

If you ready to press into God in this season of silence, I invite you to fill out the form at lovedoesthat.org/apply. I use a modern-day letter writing style of spiritual direction perfect for Christian women drawn to quiet spaces and written words.

Throughout our correspondence, I will compassionately listen to your story, gently ask questions that point you to God, and help you discover personal spiritual practices that invite you to stay close to Him. Start now at lovedoesthat.org/apply.

"Grief isn't something you get over; it is something you learn to accept. In order to heal, we need to get uncomfortable. We need to make space for our grief by spending time in the quiet, by leaning on a community of people who truly get it, and by doing things that soothe our soul."

Those words come from an email sent from Jessy Paulson on the fourth anniversary of her sister's death as she shared four things she learned about grief. And in today's episode, Jessy and I sit down and dive deeper into some of these things.

I know that so many of you are carrying grief around with you, whether the loss has been recent or was experienced years ago. And I know many of you are loving someone right now who is grieving a loss of their own, and you're trying to find ways to care for them and love them through.

I feel like Jessy's story and experience will resonate with so many of you. We talk about things like grieving out loud, grieving while parenting, using art as a way to pray, and how grief impacted her experience of God.

My friends, this is a sacred and tender conversation. I imagine you know how difficult it can be to share those places in your story where you carry grief and wounds and pain, and I always start each interview letting my guest know that if I ask a question that is too hard to talk about, too personal, just to let me know and we'll move on. Some things aren't meant to be shared yet. And that's okay.

And Jessy was so incredibly open and gracious in sharing a bit of her heart and soul with us, and I know you won't take that lightly. So I invite you to reach out to her following the episode and let her know how much you appreciate her. Can you do that for me?

Jessy and I met through an organization called Painted Prayers, where we both became trained to lead others in praying through art. She will share more of her work and ministry throughout our conversation, but for now, let's go ahead and dive in and I'll let her introduce herself.

Kari

MEET JESSY PAULSON:

Jessy Paulson is a small-town South Dakotan who shares her life with her husband Kyle and their three kids, Aleigha, Charley, and Conrad. Jessy is the prayer artist behind the j.hazel.paulson Prayer Art & Jewelry, the owner of the online retail store Purpose + Grit, and the founder of Gritty Faith Magazine. You'll often find Jessy with paint on her clothes and coffee in her cup, tackling one of her many projects, 15 minutes at a time.

CONNECT WITH JESSY:

• Purpose + Grit Shop
• Download a free copy of Gritty Faith Magazine
• Facebook
• Facebook Group
• Email

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Book: Faith Over Fear: Walking Angie Home
• Episode 40: Meaningful Gifts for Those Who are Hurting: 4 Shops That Help You Show Love and Care
• Painted Prayers Inc.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOD GOES SILENT?

As an introvert, silence is your strength. You cherish quiet moments. Time alone replenishes your soul like nothing else can.

But what happens when God goes silent? When you raise your questions of grief and hurt and doubt—and He doesn't answer?

Dear one, what if your very quietness has positioned you to experience the presence of God in a totally new way?

What if in these seasons of silence, God is actually speaking to you louder than He has ever spoken to you before?

If you ready to press into God in this season of silence, I invite you to fill out the form at lovedoesthat.org/apply. I use a modern-day letter writing style of spiritual direction perfect for Christian women drawn to quiet spaces and written words.

Throughout our correspondence, I will compassionately listen to your story, gently ask questions that point you to God, and help you discover personal spiritual practices that invite you to stay close to Him. Start now at lovedoesthat.org/apply.