Journal Gently: Spiritual Formation for Christian Women

Today, we are going to talk about something that might seem a little unusual, and that is written spiritual direction.

A couple of months ago, I did an episode that explored spiritual direction in general, and how we use direction to listen to God together, to attune ourselves to His presence and movement in our lives. And I answered several frequently asked questions when it comes to spiritual direction, like,

• When do I need spiritual direction?
• What do you do in direction?
• What does a session look like?
• What do I look for in a spiritual director?

If you haven't listened to that yet, I invite you to go back and do that. It's episode 25 of the podcast. I'll link to it in the show notes below.

But today, I want to take it in a different direction, because I offer spiritual direction in a way that most others do not, and that is in written form. There are several reasons I do this, and I want to explore those with you today.

Kari

ARE YOU READY TO C.A.R.E. COURAGEOUSLY?

Grab the Courageous Care Masterclass at www.lovedoesthat.org/care.

RESOURCES:

• Episode 25: What is Spiritual Direction, How Do I Know If I Need It, and Other Frequently Asked Questions
• Episode 29: Using Play to Deepen Faith, Develop Relationships, and Process Grief with Spiritual Parenting Coach Joy Wendling
• Book: Winn Collier's Love Big, Be Well: Letters to a Small-Town Church

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. GET STARTED WITH SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

Interested in spiritual direction? Fill out this interest form where we can start to talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

I don't know what season you are in right now, but I do recognize that in some seasons of life, we are simply going to have more availability than we do in others. But we looked in episode 20 at how a lack of time can be an obstacle, an excuse we use to NOT reach out to others.

We said, "I don't have the time. I don't have the time to take them to their doctor's appointment. I don't have the time to cook them a meal." We saw how our busyness can prevent us from caring for others.

So today, I want to walk you through a little exercise that can be helpful when you want to encourage others, but find yourself struggling to figure out how with your schedule.

Kari

ARE YOU READY TO C.A.R.E. COURAGEOUSLY?

Grab the Courageous Care Masterclass at www.lovedoesthat.org/care.

RESOURCES:

• Episode 20: [Courageous Care Challenge] Day 2: Unavailable - I Don't Have the Time
• Article: 92 Ways to Encourage Others

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. GET STARTED WITH SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

Interested in spiritual direction? Fill out this interest form where we can start to talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

Today, I just want to have a bit of a heart-to-heart conversation with you about something that I feel so many of us get stuck by, and that is failure. And what I want to focus on today is when we think we mess up when it comes to caring for those around us.

We say the wrong thing.

We do the wrong thing.

We don't send the card like we were going to.

We give a gift card to a restaurant instead of cooking a meal at home like we wanted.

We ignore the hurt and don't do anything at all.

And we let that failure, that mistake, sneak its way into our hearts and minds. And we start telling ourselves things like, I must not be meant to do this, or God needs to find somebody else, or I just can't do anything right, I should just stop trying.

I know what it's like to beat myself up for something that I've done that didn't go as planned. I know what it's like to play mind games with the enemy. I don't always recognize what's a lie. And I get sucked into believing something that then prevents me from reaching out the next time.

Have you been there?

Kari

ARE YOU READY TO C.A.R.E. COURAGEOUSLY?

Grab the Courageous Care Masterclass at www.lovedoesthat.org/care.

BIBLE REFERENCES:

• Acts 9
• Psalm 32:5
• Psalm 38:18
• 1 John 1:9
• Deuteronomy 31:6

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

I'm starting this episode with a confession: I am a bookworm. I'm actually one of those nerds who, since 2015, has kept track of every book I've read.

Anybody else? Anybody?

There is no doubt that I have a soft spot for books. In fact, that's one of the hardest things for me to say no to, when one of my kids asks for a book. I want to encourage a love of reading and learning in them, and so we have plenty of books around our house for them to read or look at.

So, as an avid reader, I wanted to share with you three of my favorite books when it comes to encouraging and caring for others. It is my hope that, if you want to learn more, if you want to dive into a specific caregiving situation or biblical truths about encouragement, that I can point you toward a resource that will help you do that.

Because, my friends, I don't know it all. I don't pretend to. And there are so many good resources out there that can help us do this encouragement thing well. I want to share some of those with you today.

Kari

ARE YOU READY TO C.A.R.E. COURAGEOUSLY?

Grab the Courageous Care Masterclass at www.lovedoesthat.org/care.

RESOURCES:

• Book: Loving Your Friend Through Cancer by Marissa Henley
• Book: The Art of Comforting by Val Walker
• Book: Becoming a Stretcher Bearer by Michael Slater
• Podcast: Don't Mom Alone episode 235, Supporting a Friend with Cancer
• Church Mental Health Summit from Hope Made Strong (affiliate link)

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2, SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

One of my core beliefs as a children's ministries director, one that I continue to hold today, is that children already experience and know God in a deep and personal way.

Kids are not junior varsity Christians. They are able to communicate with God, to hear from Him, and to engage with Him in so many incredible ways. But because we are adults, we don't always see it. We don't always believe it.

What looks like child's play to us can really be a form of prayer. What looks like them using their imagination can really be them engaging with God in His Word. What looks like sitting quietly with a coloring book can actually be a form of silence and solitude.

And that's why I love this interview with Joy Wendling. Joy is a spiritual parenting coach, and she helps mamas use play with their children to engage with God and build their faith.

"But what if I don't like to play?" you ask. "What if I'm not very good at it? What do I do if I'm not very creative?"

Joy offers us some very practical steps to take when it comes to using play to talk with our kids about their faith. And let me assure you, you can do this.

Kari

MEET JOY WENDLING:

Joy Wendling is a Children's and Family Minister turned Stay-at-Home Mom to her 5 little girls. Growing up in the South, Jesus has always been a part of her life, but it wasn't until college that she came to know him as a friend and to realize that he desires a daily relationship with her. This experience started Joy's journey and passion for equipping families to take responsibility of their children's discipleship. For a time, her Family Ministry also overlapped with Christian Early Childhood Education, which is where Joy fell in love with play and its benefits for learning and well-being. Joy is now a play advocate and believes play is the best way to engage children in discipleship. Currently, Joy is encouraging mamas to point their children to Christ with play at her blog CreatedtoPlay.com and is the host of the podcast Playfully Faithful Parenting.

CONNECT WITH JOY:

• 5 Day Bible Play Challenge
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Website

RESOURCES:

• Episode 12: Caring for Hurting Kids at Your Church: 3 Powerful But Simple Things You Can Do (lovedoesthat.org/12)
• Article: How Children Process Grief and Loss Through Play

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

"When our soul is in turmoil, God does not want us to be passive. We must pray, yes. But sometimes we need to stop praying. We need to stop listening to our soul recite its fears. Then is when it's time to preach to our soul."

That quote from Jon Bloom was something I read during a Night of Prayer and Worship at church about six years ago. And it is what started my journey of learning to talk to my soul.

I know, it sounds odd. But, it is actually quite biblical. And in today's bonus episode, I want to share with you some milestones of when I've been reminded of its importance, and then explore how we can incorporate it into our own spiritual practices.

Kari

BIBLE VERSES:

• "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 43:5)
• "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." (Psalm 103:8, quoting Exodus 34:6)

RESOURCES:

• Article: "If You Feel Overwhelmed, Eat" by Jon Bloom
• Song: "O My Soul" by Rebekah Dawn and Mary Monari

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritual-direction/

I love when I am reading God's Word and He just brings to light something I haven't seen before, don't you?

A year ago, I was reading through the books of First and Second Kings, and I really lingered with the stories of Elijah and Elisha, the prophets. And I stumbled upon two stories that I had known about Elisha, but that hit me in an entirely new way. And it hit me big enough that I STILL think about it today.

Hebrews 4:12 says that God's Word is living and active, and part of that means that we can come to the same Bible passage time and again, and God will reveal new things about it, or put it in a different perspective, or speak to us in a different way.

And that's exactly what happened here. These two stories reveal the beautiful way that Elisha helps two women he crosses paths with. Specifically, there are two different questions he asked, and that's what I want us to focus on today. I think we can learn a lot from him. Especially when it comes to looking after those around us.

I didn't realize a prophet could teach me so much about care and encouragement. Are you ready to hear what his two questions are? Let's dive in.

Kari

LEARN MORE ABOUT SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

BUY A MEANINGFUL SYMPATHY GIFT

http://lovedoesthat.org/shop

BIBLE VERSES:

• "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires." (Hebrews 4:12 NLT)
• 2 Kings 4

Today, we are going to talk about a part of encouragement and care that is often overlooked—or, rather, it's often used as an excuse to NOT reaching out to those around us who are hurting.

We're talking about the cost of caring for others.

Now, I don't mean financial cost, though there are actually many times and situations where you may need to be willing to part with some money in order to care for someone else.

No, we're talking about some of the other costs involved. And really, these are sacrifices that we are going to have to be willing to make—not all the time, but when God calls us to.

Think about a friend or two of yours who is going through a difficult season right now. Maybe they are grieving the loss of a parent. Maybe they are frustrated in their work. Maybe they can't seem to get the upper hand with their depression or are growing hopeless with their chronic illness.

Friend, I want to remind you that being an encourager and caring for others is a good work. It's meaningful work. I believe you're here because you have that desire in you to help others, to be with them in the hard times so they know they are loved. So they know they matter.

But caring for others can also be a difficult work. And so, as we enter into this work, we must be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves this question: "Am I willing to pay the cost it's going to take to help these friends?"

Let's count the cost together,

Kari

SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

http://lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection

BUY A MEANINGFUL SYMPATHY GIFT

http://lovedoesthat.org/shop

BIBLE VERSES + QUOTES:

• "But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?" (Luke 14:28)
• "When somebody is having a hard moment, I believe it can be especially important to reach out and show that person that his or her life is more important than any schedule…. These inconvenient minutes or hours are never given in bitterness or anger because they are tender, sweet moments, and the spirit of God has the opportunity to speak to you." (Michael Slater)

RESOURCES:

• Episode 20: [Courageous Care Challenge] Day 2: Unavailable (http://lovedoesthat.org/20)
• Episode 22: [Courageous Care Challenge] Day 4: Uncomfortable (http://lovedoesthat.org/22)
• Episode 25: What is Spiritual Direction, Do I Need It, and Other Frequently Asked Questions (http://lovedoesthat.org/25)

I don't know about you, but I always get a little anxious when visiting someone who is sick, especially when they aren't a close family member. Am I interrupting them? Are they truly up for visitors? How can I help?

This week, I have a special treat for you as I join BriAnne Bell, a registered nurse with experience working in the ER, and we have a conversation regarding encouragement and care in a health setting.

Topics flow from tips for nurses to connect with their patients while caring for them and how to prevent burnout, to how to visit your loved one in the hospital, partnering with a nurse to care for them, and turning to a nurse for help processing emotions during difficult times.

This is a shared podcast episode, so BriAnne and I are both sharing this conversation on our podcasts. If you are a nurse or are friends with one, I invite you to check out BriAnne's podcast, the Passive Income Nurse.

Are you ready? Let's dive in.

Kari

BriAnne Bell—Registered Nurse, Health, Wellness and Passive Income advocate. Host of The Passive Income Nurse Podcast—the podcast for faith-led nurses & healthcare professionals who are looking to grow outside of the hospital walls, get creative & make some money online! On her podcast she walks nurses and other healthcare professionals through different ways to make money in the online world so they can TAKE CONTROL OF THEIR SCHEDULES & THEIR LIFE, LIVE HEALTHY & STAY PASSIONATE.

CONNECT WITH BRIANNE:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Passive Income Nurse Podcast
• Free Resource: 5 Free Workouts to Do At Home

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Friend, I'd love to encourage you as you encourage others. Here are two ways to get started:

1. SHOP ENCOURAGEMENT + SYMPATHY GIFTS

These are prayerfully-crafted gifts you can share with those you love as tangible expressions of care. Let your friend know she is not alone.

www.lovedoesthat.org/shop

2. SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

Eugene Peterson wrote, "It is easier to find guides, someone to tell you what to do, than someone to be with you in a discerning, prayerful companionship as you work it out yourself. This is what spiritual direction is."

If you noticed in my introduction, I speak to my background in communication, spiritual direction, and ministry. And recently, I was asked, "What is spiritual direction? How is that different from coaching?" And so I wanted to set some time aside today to address that question, along with some other commonly asked questions.

In my own experience, I have found spiritual direction to be a great help to me in that I have someone to simply sit with me in the silence, to prayerfully listen to what is stirring in my heart, and not to have any specific agenda we are working toward. We're just… together. In God's presence. Seeking Him.

That is why I have done my own training in spiritual direction and why I incorporate it into the work I do. I know how helpful it can be to have someone sit with you in the unknowns. In the healing. In the questioning.

And so today, I'll address a few questions in-depth as a sort of introduction to spiritual direction, and then I'll answer some more in a lightning-round sort of fashion.

Let's dive in,

Kari

SCHEDULE A SPIRITUAL DIRECTION DISCERNMENT CALL

Interested in spiritual direction? Schedule a complimentary Discernment Call where we'll talk about what's weighing on your heart and identify next steps you can take to discern God's direction.

www.lovedoesthat.org/spiritualdirection/

QUOTES:

• "It is easier to find guides, someone to tell you what to do, than someone to be with you in a discerning, prayerful companionship as you work it out yourself. This is what spiritual direction is." (Eugene Peterson)
• "What exactly do spiritual directors do? The simple and most direct answer I can give is that they help others attend to God's presence and revelation and prepare to respond to him. In other words, they help people attune themselves to God." (David Brenner)
• "And, oh, how my heart needs tuning! I forget His goodness. I forget there are 'streams of mercy, never ceasing.' I forget that I'm already accepted, covered, held, known, beloved. And when I forget that I'm His cherished daughter, I start hustling for my worth. Grasping for 'good' as if I don't already have access to the Giver of every good thing… I'd never play a song with an out of tune guitar, but so often (too often) I am willing to live with a heart that is out of tune. Dissonant. Fearful. Discontent. Ashamed. All because I don't take the time to restore my heart to its rightful place, to a place of gratitude for a Love that will never leave me." (Ellie Holcomb)

RESOURCES:

• Episode 24: An Example in Spiritual Discernment and Decision Making: Going "All In" With Love Does That (http://lovedoesthat.org/24)
• Spiritual Directors International: Find a Spiritual Companion
• Transforming Center: Find a Spiritual Director