Today is July 24.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.   
  
Take a moment and quiet yourself. Take a deep breath. Welcome God’s presence. And say, “Come Holy Spirit.”    
   
Today’s reading is from the book of Nehemiah, chapter 2.   
  

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”   
I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” The king said to me, “What is it you want?”  Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”
   

This short passage from the Old Testament story of Nehemiah is full of a wide range of emotions: sadness, curiosity, fear, courage…  Nehemiah was sad, and – as the saying goes – he was wearing his sadness on his sleeve. So much so that the king even noticed, and inquired. As you come to prayer today, can you get present to the emotions swirling inside of you?  
   
Nehemiah’s heart was saddened because something dear to him had been destroyed, and was in ruins. He longed to see the thing that had been damaged, be restored. As you listen to the passage read again…. Think about this: Is there anything in your past, or even in your present, that feels damaged or destroyed? Perhaps a friendship? A relationship with a parent? A hope you held close to your heart? Is there anything that is causing you a ‘sadness of heart’?  
 
The king’s question to Nehemiah is ‘what is it you want?’. It reminds me of the types of questions Jesus asks in the New Testament: questions that seems obvious. He asks a sick person: what do you want? And we think: Jesus, they want to get well! The king asks Nehemiah: what do you want? And it seems straightforward – I want to rebuild the thing that was lost! In our relationship with God though, there is something connecting about these patterns of questions and answers. There is a vulnerability that comes by admitting what we want. There is a courage we demonstrate in asking. Can you come before God today in vulnerability and courage, in response to God’s question: “what is it you want?” 
  
Music:  You Make Everything New - Vineyard Worship: (YouTube)