We spend a lot of time talking about what happens on the job. But what happens when the first responder comes home? The shift work, the silence, the faces that say everything without saying a word — the family feels all of it. And almost no one prepares them for it.
Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Ellen Kirschman — retired psychologist, author, and one of the foremost voices in first responder family wellness — for a candid, compassionate conversation about what it really means to love someone in uniform and what families need to survive it together.

WHAT WE COVER
Why no other job spills into home life as fast or as powerfully as first responder work
The most devastating challenge first responder families face — and why it starts before the first shift ends
Why stonewalling happens and what it costs the people on the other side of it
How to communicate when you can't talk about what you saw — and why silence is never the answer
The rules couples should establish before the big one hits — not during it
How to help young children understand when mom or dad comes home with that face
What it means when a child thinks everything bad is their fault
When it's time to seek counseling — and why you need someone who actually understands first responder culture
The spouse who over-functions and loses themselves in the process
Why some first responders bring work communication home — and what it does to the family
What connection really means — and why anything that breaks it causes lasting damage
The one truth most first responders hate hearing — and why it might save their marriage

ABOUT DR. ELLEN KIRSCHMAN
Dr. Ellen Kirschman is a retired psychologist who spent four decades counseling first responders and their families. She is the author of the landmark books I Love a Cop and I Love a Firefighter, as well as co-author of Counseling Cops: What Clinicians Need to Know. She also writes a five-book crime fiction series featuring police psychologist Dot Meyerhoff. Her career has been dedicated to supporting the wellness of those who serve — and the families who stand beside them.

RESOURCES MENTIONED
I Love a Cop by Dr. Ellen Kirschman
I Love a Firefighter by Dr. Ellen Kirschman
Counseling Cops: What Clinicians Need to Know by Dr. Ellen Kirschman

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST
Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week.
Control the breath. Control the moment.

The weight first responders carry isn't just mental — it's physical too. And for many, the two are far more connected than anyone talks about. From 425 pounds to founding a movement, from the stereotypical "fat cop" to a transformation that changed an entire department's culture, today's guests know that journey firsthand.

Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Ted Stern, founder of Fit Responder, and Sergeant Aaron Lohman of the NYPD for an honest conversation about fitness, mental health, toughness, and what it actually takes to make it to retirement in one piece.

WHAT WE COVER

●      How Aaron went from 425 pounds and depressed to becoming a voice for first responder health

●      Ted's journey from gaining 60 pounds his first two years on the job to building one of the top fitness coaching programs for first responders in the country

●      The biology of stress — and why getting fit and healthy changes how your body handles pressure

●      Why the stigma around mental health isn't about what the department will think — it's about what your peer next to you will say

●      The misconceptions about toughness, and why admitting you need help is actually the tougher path

●      What depression actually looks like in first responder culture — and why it rarely looks like sadness

●      Why crash diets and all-or-nothing thinking fail first responders — and what sustainable habits look like instead

●      The "Oprah effect" and why most quick fixes don't survive shift work

●      What leaders can do to make wellness part of the culture instead of a side bonus

●      Why living the example matters more than any wellness policy on paper

●      What gives both guests hope about the future of fitness and mental health in public safety

ABOUT TED STERN
 Ted Stern is a former law enforcement officer with over a decade of experience and a fitness coach for first responders with more than 15 years in the field. In 2017, Ted and his wife Emily founded Fit Responder, one of the top fitness coaching programs for first responders in the United States.

ABOUT SERGEANT AARON LOHMAN
 Sergeant Aaron Lohman has served with the NYPD for more than 19 years, with experience in gang enforcement, anti-crime, and narcotics. He now works in health and wellness, helping officers improve their physical and mental health through resilience training, fitness, and nutrition.

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST
 Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week.

Control the breath. Control the moment.

What does it really take to build trust — not just between officers and communities, but within the organizations themselves? And what does courage actually look like for today's first responders when the hardest battles aren't always physical?

Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Kyle Dobson — Assistant Professor of Public Policy and Psychology at the Frank Batten School of Leadership and Public Policy at the University of Virginia — for a candid, research-grounded conversation about the human side of public safety, what organizations get wrong about trust, and why officer well-being isn't separate from community safety — it's the foundation of it.

WHAT WE COVER

• What drew a researcher into the world of public safety — and why lived experience in the field matters
• What the public doesn't see in officer interactions and why the nuance gets lost in the headlines
• How body-worn cameras changed the conversation around transparency — and where we still fall short
• What organizations actually need to do to build trust with their own employees — not just the community
• Why listening tours only work if leaders show they were actually listening
• The science behind why self-regulation matters for both officers and the communities they serve
• What happens when an officer goes from the worst call of the year straight into a routine traffic stop — and why that transition is everything
• Why we need to rethink how we deploy first responders and build in space to process before the next call
• What courage actually looks like today — and why running into danger is only half the picture
• The low-status courage no one talks about — speaking up when the culture pushes back
• How departments can normalize conversations about wellness without weakening accountability or readiness
• What gives a researcher who studies this every day genuine hope about the future of first responder culture

ABOUT DR. KYLE DOBSON Dr. Kyle Dobson is Assistant Professor of Public Policy and Psychology at the Frank Batten School of Leadership and Public Policy at the University of Virginia. His work focuses on public safety organizations and how people connect across differences in intense, high-pressure environments. Through collaborations with agencies across the country, Dr. Dobson works to improve both the effectiveness and the humanity of organizations responsible for protecting others.

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week.

Control the breath. Control the moment.

What anchors you when everything around you feels uncertain? For leaders in law enforcement and public safety, self-regulation is often framed as a mental or physical skill — but today's conversation goes deeper. 

Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Niles R. Wilson — retired Deputy Police Director with 27 years at the Newark Police Department and Senior Pastor of Greater Cornerstone Baptist Church in East Orange, New Jersey — for an honest, grounded conversation about the intersection of spirituality, self-regulation, and leadership under pressure. 

WHAT WE COVER 

• Why self-regulation isn't just mental or physical — and what's missing from the conversation 
• How spirituality becomes a compass for morality, ethics, and decision-making under pressure 
• Why so many first responders are spiritual but feel shamed into silence about it 
• The three principles Dr. Wilson lives by — capacity, sincerity, and ability 
• How morning prayer, meditation, and breathwork translate directly into high-stakes leadership moments 
• Why the academy teaches officers how to shoot but not how to breathe — and what needs to change 
• What leaders can do to respect and support the spiritual lives of the people they lead 
• The honest truth about faith-driven leadership — and what it actually looks like in practice 

ABOUT DR. NILES R. WILSON Dr. Niles R. Wilson brings a rare combination of executive law enforcement experience and pastoral leadership. After a distinguished 27-year career with the Newark Police Department — serving as Deputy Police Director, Acting Deputy Chief, Chief of Staff, Precinct Commander, and Commander of the Professional Standards Bureau — Dr. Wilson has faithfully served as Senior Pastor of Greater Cornerstone Baptist Church in East Orange, New Jersey since 1996. He is a graduate of the FBI National Academy, a past president of the United Clergy of the Oranges, and an active member of multiple civic and law enforcement organizations. 

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. 

Control the breath. Control the moment. 

Most people don't realize they've lost themselves until something feels off. Maybe it's burnout. Maybe it's success that doesn't feel fulfilling. Maybe it's a quiet sense that something along the way just stopped meaning anything — and that you stopped listening to yourself. 

Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with two powerhouse voices — Dr. Keyshawn Hickman and Kevin MacDonald — for an honest, unfiltered conversation about identity, loss, rock bottom, and what it actually takes to find your way back to yourself after a career in law enforcement. 

WHAT WE COVER 

• Why the journey back to yourself isn't poetic — it's an archaeological dig through everything you buried 
• How compartmentalization saves you on the job and quietly destroys you at home 
• Why first responders put their identity into things with an expiration date — and what that costs them at retirement 
• The silence avoidance that keeps so many officers from ever sitting with themselves 
• What rock bottom actually looks like — and why it's where the strongest foundations are built 
• Why "fine," "good," and "okay" are lies — and what it means to really ask someone how they're doing 
• How to help your family understand what you've been carrying — and why showing them matters more than telling them 
• Grace — what it actually means and why it changes everything 
• The power of breath and why most people are breathing wrong 
• How a single breathing session changed everything for Dr. Hickman — twice 
• What it means to finally take off the body armor you didn't even know you were wearing 

ABOUT DR. KEYSHAWN HICKMAN Dr. Keyshawn Hickman spent 21 years with the NYPD, rising from patrol officer to lieutenant and commanding the Information Technology Bureau investigation team. He now serves as Program Director of the Law Enforcement Executive Leadership graduate program at Seton Hall University, where he shapes the next generation of public safety leaders. He is a U.S. Department of State Fulbright Specialist and nationally recognized educator and cybercrime analyst. 

ABOUT KEVIN MacDONALD Kevin MacDonald is a retired New Jersey police officer, bestselling author, and host of The Suffering Podcast. A nationally recognized voice in trauma, recovery, and mental health, Kevin rebuilt his life after surviving his own post-traumatic stress and multiple suicide attempts following an on-duty shooting incident in 2014. His mission is to destigmatize mental health in law enforcement and empower survivors to find their way through. 

RESOURCES MENTIONED 

• Man, You're Crazy by Kevin MacDonald 
• The Suffering Podcast 

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. 

Control the breath. Control the moment. 

Is self-regulation just a personal skill — or is it something organizations are responsible for shaping, teaching, and sustaining? In high-pressure environments, the ability to pause, regulate, and respond instead of react isn't just helpful. It's essential. And yet most organizations expect people to perform under pressure without ever teaching them how. 

Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Gregory Mack — retired NYPD Detective Specialist, licensed psychologist, and one of the rare professionals who has lived on both sides of that equation — for a frank, evidence-based conversation about what self-regulation actually looks like in practice, who is responsible for it, and what it costs when no one takes ownership. 

WHAT WE COVER 

• What self-regulation actually means as an operational competency — not just a buzzword 
• How stress shows up in leadership, decision-making, and team dynamics when regulation breaks down 
• Why self-regulation is not just a personal responsibility — and what organizations get wrong by treating it that way 
• The unintentional ways organizations dysregulate the very people they depend on 
• What it actually looks like when an organization gets it right — and why it's rarer than it should be 
• The danger of leaders who model "I got screwed, so you will too" — and what that costs the next generation 
• How to train officers to regulate in the moment, not just in theory 
• The "tag team" approach to partner self-awareness and de-escalation on scene 
• A deep dive into Enhanced Trauma-Informed Policing (ETIP) — the framework Dr. Mack co-authored with Dr. Monica Booker that finally turns the lens inward 
• Why so many officers say they have an anger problem — and what's actually going on 
• One thing every organization and every individual can start doing today 

ABOUT DR. GREGORY MACK Dr. Gregory Mack began his law enforcement career 39 years ago with the New York City Police Department, retiring at the rank of Detective Specialist while simultaneously serving as a police psychologist. He received multiple accommodations including a unit citation for his response to the September 11th terrorist attacks. He currently serves as Administrative Psychologist and Deputy Director in the NYPD's Medical Division, is an adjunct professor in the Criminal Justice and Security program at Pace University, and is the founding member of the Institute for Trauma-Informed Public Safety and Education, Inc. A New York State licensed psychologist, Dr. Mack maintains a thriving clinical and forensic consultancy practice in Westchester County. 

RESOURCES MENTIONED 

• Enhanced Trauma-Informed Policing (ETIP) — co-authored by Dr. Gregory Mack and Dr. Monica Booker https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41355078/ 

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. 

Control the breath. Control the moment. 

Welcome to Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee — a leadership podcast built for first responders and public safety professionals who make high-stakes decisions under pressure, and carry the weight of those decisions long after the radio goes quiet.

We're asking a question many of us think about but rarely say out loud — are the kids all right? For those in law enforcement, public safety, and the military, the honest answer is often no. Not just new recruits, but tenured officers and the next generation of public safety professionals stepping into organizations shaped by constant readiness, high expectations, and cumulative stress.

In this episode, Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with **Kevin MacDonald** — street cop, survivor, and co-author of *Man, You're Crazy* — for a raw, honest conversation about what the job does to people, what leaders can do differently, and why vulnerability may be the most powerful leadership tool we've been ignoring.

WHAT WE COVER:

- How leadership behavior, policy, training, and unspoken cultural norms shape officer well-being long before burnout, discipline, or attrition show up
- The generational curses in policing — and why today's officers are still paying for decisions made 30 and 40 years ago
- Why cops are trained to shut down emotions to function on the job — and what that costs them at home
- The difference between impressing people with your victories and actually connecting through vulnerability
- Why police suicide among retirees is at record rates — and the simple mantra that can save a life
- What forward-thinking leaders are doing differently to strengthen the mind the same way we strengthen the body
- The honest truth about why the kids aren't all right — and what it takes to change that

ABOUT KEVIN MacDONALD
Kevin MacDonald is a retired law enforcement officer, speaker, and co-author of Man, You're Crazy — a book that draws on his lived experience to challenge organizations to confront stigma, rethink what strength really means, and take responsibility for how the job shapes the people doing it. With 13 years of sobriety and a career defined by hard-won vulnerability, Kevin travels the country as a conversation starter for law enforcement organizations ready to do things differently.

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST
Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week.

Control the breath. Control the moment

Welcome to Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee — a leadership podcast built for first responders and public safety professionals who make high-stakes decisions under pressure, and carry the weight of those decisions long after the radio goes quiet.

We're starting where it all begins — with the nervous system. When stress is chronic and recovery never comes, something shifts. Judgment narrows. Emotional regulation erodes. And the leaders we need most begin to disappear — into their offices, into their rank, or into patterns they inherited from generations before them.

For this episode, Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kirschman — who has spent over four decades working directly with first responders across every career stage — and Chief Jack Cawley of Castle Rock, Colorado — a veteran police chief who has navigated the realities of command under pressure while building a department culture rooted in emotional intelligence and people-centered leadership.

WHAT WE COVER

Why command presence is a nervous system skill — not a rank or a title
What chronic stress without recovery actually does to a leader's decision-making and emotional regulation
How dysregulation shows up operationally — in discipline, culture, and the people you're supposed to be leading
Why capable leaders lose the ability to self-regulate — and what happens when they can't
How to hold people accountable with compassion instead of fear, threat, or rank
The generational leadership cycle in policing — and what it takes to break it
Why the academy and field training programs are where culture and self-image are first formed
The honest truth about why self-regulation still isn't treated with the same urgency as firearms and defensive tactics

ABOUT DR. ELLEN KIRSCHMAN
Dr. Ellen Kirschman is a clinical psychologist who has spent over four decades working directly with first responders, helping them understand how cumulative stress, trauma, and survival wiring shape decision-making, identity, and career longevity. She is the author of I Love a Cop and Counseling Cops: What Clinicians Need to Know — foundational works that have helped normalize conversations about stress, family impact, and the sustainability of a career in public safety.

ABOUT CHIEF JACK CAWLEY
Chief Jack Cawley is a veteran police chief serving Castle Rock, Colorado. A leader who has navigated the realities of command under sustained pressure, Chief Cawley has built his department's culture around emotional intelligence, people-centered accountability, and intentional leadership development. In 2018, he was presented with the Igniter of the Year Award by New York Times bestselling author and leadership thinker Simon Sinek.

ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST
Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home.
New episodes drop every other week.
Notice the state you're leading from

Welcome to the very first episode of Just Breathe with Dr. L Kesse — a leadership podcast built for first responders and public safety professionals who make high-stakes decisions under pressure, and carry the weight of those decisions long after the call ends.

We're starting where it all begins — with the body.
When stress hits, your body moves first. Heart rate spikes. Breath shortens. Vision narrows. And by the time conscious thought catches up — the moment has already passed.

For our debut episode, Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with psychologist and stress physiology expert Dr. Laurence Miller to unpack what's actually happening inside a first responder's body during high-stakes decisions — and what leaders, supervisors, and officers can do about it.

WHAT WE COVER
Why breath is a tactical tool — not meditation
The science behind why officers mis-perceive what they see and hear under stress
How to run after-action reviews that account for stress physiology
What good leadership actually looks like when pressure is coming from every direction
Why de-escalation is a performance skill — not a substitute for force
The honest truth about resiliency and what newer officers are pushing back on

ABOUT DR. LAURENCE MILLER
Dr. LAURENCE Miller is a psychologist who has spent decades working with law enforcement, first responders, and military personnel operating in high-pressure environments. He specializes in stress physiology, performance under pressure, and psychological resilience in real-world operations — bridging science and the street for agencies nationwide.

ABOUT The Just Breathe Podcast
Just Breathe with Dr. L Kesse is a leadership podcast for first responders and public safety professionals. Hosted by Dr. Tracie L. Keesee, each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision.

New episodes drop every other Week.
Control the breath. Control the moment.

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