Just One Thing for Parents with Dr Bettina Hohnen

This is an episode for any parent whose children are ‘demand avoidant’ (i.e. resist being told what to do). Actually all kids have a drive for autonomy particularly as they get older, but some kids (often those on the autism spectrum) are highly avoidant of any request or demand by an adult and this can cause huge family problems.

Responding to a listener's request, Bettina interviewed Linda Murphy with a big focus on the concept of declarative language. Linda explains what declarative language is and how it encourages young people to cooperate more effectively. She discusses the numerous benefits of this communication style for children's development and how it strengthens the parent-child relationship.

Tune in to hear as Bettina and Linda explore this powerful approach to communication.

In this episode, Jo Steer joins us to discuss actionable steps parents can take while awaiting an ADHD assessment for their child.

We highlight the importance of adopting a needs-based approach, focusing on each child’s unique strengths and challenges. Parents can access valuable resources from organizations like the ADHD Foundation (https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/) and ADDISS (http://www.addiss.co.uk/) without needing a formal diagnosis. We cover key strategies for identifying and addressing struggles such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and emotional regulation.

Jo says that while medication can be helpful, it’s always advised to combine that with behavioural intervention - making small adjustments to the child’s environment that can really help. One key bit of advice is to talk to your child’s teacher to get them onboard to help. We touch on how ADHD can present differently in girls, often leading to underdiagnosis due to less visible hyperactivity.

Understanding the individual nature of ADHD and tailoring strategies to meet each child's specific needs is crucial during the waiting period.

This week I was joined by Courtney Adamo who is the mother of five children ranging in age from 7 to 19 years of age. Courtney has created courses and provides resources for parents including a great programme for parents of tweens and teens that I contributed to when I wrote The incredible teenage brain.

I asked her the question ‘What’s just one think you’ve learned about parenting so many children”. She emphasises how each child requires personalized strategies due to their distinct temperaments, needs and developmental stage. Effective communication with one child may not work with another, so we have to tune into what they need from us. She also encourages parents to view parenting as a journey of self-discovery, reflecting on personal triggers and growth opportunities presented by each child.

Courtney is so warm and engaging in how she discusses her children and I know all parents will learn something from listening to her.

In today's episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Bettina had the pleasure of talking to Callum Brown, founder of Be More Me. Callum assists young people post education to find a career pathway. With A level results just released in the UK this week, young adults and their parents are likely to have this topic on their mind. And it’s often a stressful journey for everyone.

How do parents guide their kids to make the right choices? What distinguishes Callum is his holistic approach to this topic. He talks about the importance of helping young people discover their true selves, enabling authentic and fulfilling career choices. He offers valuable advice for parents on nurturing their children's self-reflection and motivation, along with practical tips to help young individuals take the first steps towards their career goals.

Join us to learn more about Callum's insightful methods and discover how to confidently navigate this critical transition.

In this episode - the third in this mini-series about technology - we delve deeper into the relationship between technology and young people, emphasizing the importance of children’s ages when managing their use of social media and phones. Beth Kerr, a teacher by profession and consultant on wellbeing learning and digital habits, joins us. We discuss how understanding the science of the teenage brain and using that knowledge enables adults to protect and guide teenagers.

Beth highlights that developing skills, such as managing impulses and resisting the temptation of phone notifications, takes time. We also tackle the recent movement led by Jonathon Haidt, advocating for a ban on mobile phones for under-16s. We debate whether such a ban is sensible and feasible, with Beth providing a critical analysis of Haidt's research. She argues that his solutions, while well-intentioned, are overly simplistic, impractical, and fail to consider the individual needs of young people.

This episode is essential listening for parents and teachers, who are navigating the complex world of social media, phones, and teenagers.

In this episode, we dive into strategies for parents to support their children's use of AI in learning. Our guest, Daniel Emmerson, who recently published a comprehensive guide on integrating AI into school life, shares his expertise. We discuss the benefits and potential downsides of AI in education and emphasize the importance of exploring AI together with your kids rather than restricting it out of fear. Daniel provides valuable resources and websites for families to explore. He advocates for families to develop a comprehensive plan for AI use, similar to internet and phone guidelines, to ensure it aligns with educational goals. Packed with examples and practical insights, this episode offers a roadmap for successfully navigating AI with children at home. Below are links to some of the resources he recommends: 

Mid Journey AI: https://midjourney.co/generator

Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

Goodnotes research on generative AI in schools: https://www.goodnotes.com/research/generative-ai-in-schools

In this episode, we explore the best strategies for managing teenagers' social media use with insights from expert Dr Marc Tibber. He advises parents to stay curious and foster open conversations, avoiding punitive measures that can drive teens to hide their usage. Instead, focus on understanding how they use social media and its effects on their lives. Try to focus on the quality and purpose of social media use rather than just screen time, and recognize that it can foster connections and offer opportunities for young people that are really positive.

He advises parents to discuss the impact of social media on sleep and lifestyle with their teen and to remember, that parent’s own behavior serves as a model for their child, so we must be mindful of our actions. Also, understand that the impact of social media on mental health varies; address issues of social comparisons and support your teen in developing self-awareness and reflection skills.

Tune in as Marc provides a thoughtful and nuanced perspective on navigating social media's impact on teenagers.

In this episode, we delve into the implications of the phrase parents often use: "I just want you to be happy." While well-intentioned, this can inadvertently pressure children and young people to constantly seek happiness, which is elusive, especially for teenagers with raw emotions. Instead, Christine Dunkley suggests encouraging kids to find activities that feel worthwhile and rewarding, helping them act their way out of negative emotions.

This approach fosters self-awareness and shifts the focus from merely feeling to doing something meaningful. We discuss how teenage years are a time for emotional exploration and how parents should maintain a balance by acknowledging emotions without amplifying them.

Parents, take heart—it's okay to model changing your mind and showing adaptability. Join us for this insightful discussion on nurturing a healthy emotional landscape for your children.

In this episode, Dr Laurie Faith begins by breaking down the concept of executive functions, using relatable analogies to demystify these essential but often misunderstood brain-based skills. She delves into actionable strategies for parents to help strengthen their young children's executive function skills, emphasizing that early childhood is a critical period for this development.

Laurie's key advice is for parents to be fully present and engaged with their children. This means putting away phones and immersing in a variety of experiences together to nurture their child's growing mind.

Tune in for invaluable insights and practical tips to support your child's cognitive development from an early age.

I was joined by Sue Knowles who is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of many books including "My Anxiety Handbook," a highly recommended resource for parents of anxious children. In this episode, we dive into the critical topic of parental emotional regulation and its impact on children's well-being. We'll explore the concept of 'emotional contagion' and how important it is for parents to be aware of how their own emotional reactions impact their child.

Listeners will gain practical strategies for self-regulation and learn why addressing their own emotional needs is essential in effectively supporting their children through the ups and downs of family life. Tune in for an informative discussion filled with valuable insights and advice for parents.