What does it really take to build a relationship with your child that can withstand the ups and downs of growing up — and how can you do that when family life feels busy, chaotic or overwhelming? In this episode, I'm joined by developmental psychologist Dona Matthews, whose work focuses on helping parents create strong, secure relationships that carry children through whatever storms life brings. Drawing on decades of research, clinical experience and her own family life, Dona offers a compassionate reminder that resilience starts with connection — not perfection. Together, we explore what it means to truly stay connected to your child: showing up emotionally, being present in the moment, and finding small ways to communicate "I'm here, I'm with you, I'm on your side." Dona explains why prioritising your own wellbeing is not selfish but foundational, because a regulated parent is better able to attune, respond and guide. She also talks about the simple but powerful role of breath, mindfulness and self-awareness in navigating tense or tricky moments. You'll come away with a clearer understanding of how small, mindful moments help build a relationship that can truly weather any storm — and why being "crazy about your child," as Dona puts it, is one of the most protective things you can offer.

What does it really mean to give a child a secure attachment — and how can we do that if our own early experiences weren't secure? In this episode, I'm joined by psychotherapist Anne Power, who has written extensively about attachment theory and how our early experiences shape not only how we parent, but how we relate to others throughout life. Anne explains the two key attachment behaviours — caregiving and care seeking — and breaks them down into simple, practical elements that parents can notice and strengthen. Together we explore how attachment patterns are formed and passed from one generation to the next, what secure, avoidant, anxious and disorganised attachment might look like in family life, and how we can use this knowledge to nurture a secure bond. We talk about what it means to be available and responsive, how to interpret your child's signals more accurately, and how your own attachment history may influence the way you respond when they are upset. Anne also offers practical ways to reshape your patterns as an adult — from creating small moments of repair with your child to finding tools for reflection and self-compassion that make change possible. This conversation offers both compassion and clarity. You'll come away with a new understanding of how your own story influences the way you show up for your child, and what small, powerful changes you can make to help them feel safe, loved and understood.

Welcome to this special Must-Have Moments episode for ADHD Awareness Month. In this compilation, Dr Bettina Hohnen revisits highlights from four expert conversations exploring ADHD and executive function through different stages of development — from early childhood right through to young adulthood. We begin with Dr Laurie Faith, who explains what executive functions are, how they develop, and why joy and connection are essential for helping children's brains grow. Then Dr Peg Dawson shares her "perfect intervention" — a simple, sustainable way to strengthen executive skills in teenagers. Next, Linda Phillips guides us through how to support neurodivergent students as they transition to university — when independence increases but challenges may still remain. And finally, Dr Jo Steer offers practical strategies for parents waiting for an ADHD assessment, focusing on meeting a child's needs right now rather than waiting for a diagnosis. Together, these must-hear moments offer a developmental roadmap and a wealth of practical insights to help parents understand, support, and empower their children with ADHD and executive function differences. Whether your child is just starting school, preparing for exams, or beginning university life, this episode will help you see the strengths behind the struggles — and remind you that small, consistent steps make a real difference.

When your affectionate child suddenly transforms into a teenager who rolls their eyes, snaps back, or avoids you completely, it can feel painful and personal. In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Bettina Hohnen speaks with journalist, mother of four, and bestselling author Lorraine Candy about why teenagers often act like they "hate" their parents — and how understanding what's happening in their developing brains can make all the difference.

Lorraine reflects on her own experience of raising four children through adolescence, and how learning about the neuroscience of the teenage years helped her stop taking their behaviour so personally. Together, she and Bettina explore the physiological and emotional shifts that happen between 12 and 25, when the teenage brain is being taken apart and rebuilt, and why this process can leave young people overwhelmed, irritable, or quick to anger.

They also discuss the power of recognising what Lorraine calls the "rupture and repair" cycle – the inevitable conflicts that arise in family life, and the vital opportunity to reconnect and rebuild afterwards. Lorraine offers reassurance that this stage, though challenging, is both normal and necessary for teenagers to become independent, emotionally intelligent adults.

This episode is a reminder to parents that the teenage years are not about losing connection, but reshaping it.

We often use praise as a way to boost our children's confidence — but does it always have the effect we hope for? In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Dr Bettina Hohnen speaks with Dr Barry Hymer, teacher, academic and author, about why feedback may be a far more powerful parenting tool than praise.

Drawing on decades of research, Barry shares how praise, though well-intentioned, can sometimes chip away at a child's motivation and resilience. He explains the famous Stanford study showing how rewards can dampen children's intrinsic drive, and explores what happens when our words of encouragement shift from genuine feedback to subtle forms of judgement.

We talk about what it really means to nurture a growth mindset, how parents can model resilience when things go wrong, and the small changes that make a big difference — like noticing effort, curiosity and persistence instead of simply saying "well done."

Barry also reflects on his own experiences as a father, and how learning to replace praise with thoughtful feedback helped his children grow in confidence and self-belief.

Teenagers are wired to explore the world — but for parents, that can feel terrifying. How do you let your teen take healthy risks without putting them in danger? In this episode, Dr Bettina Hohnen is joined by Professor Deborah Christie, a leading expert in adolescent health at UCL. Together, they explore the delicate balance between keeping teenagers safe and giving them the freedom they need to grow. Drawing on her extensive professional experience and her personal insights as a parent and grandparent, Deborah explains why risk-taking is not only normal but necessary, and how parents can reframe it as exploration rather than danger. Their conversation covers how to manage parental fear, keep communication open, and recognise that our own backgrounds shape the way we perceive risk. They also discuss how to balance consequences with connection, so teenagers can develop the judgment and confidence they need to become capable young adults. This discussion offers practical ways to stay steady through the ups and downs of adolescence, reminding parents that bravery, patience and perspective go a long way — and that this phase, too, will pass. Here is a link to Deborah Christie's website where she shares many useful resources for free: https://www.deborahchristieconsulting.com/

How can parents support their children to eat healthily without slipping into diet talk or passing on their own body worries? In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Dr Anna Colton — clinical psychologist and eating disorder specialist — shares what decades of experience have taught her about food, families and children's wellbeing. We talk about: - Why the language we use about food matters more than we think - How to model a balanced, relaxed approach at mealtimes - Supporting children and teens to self-regulate, rather than laying down rigid rules - Why acceptance, not body positivity, is the goal that helps children thrive Anna also shares her "one shift that changes everything": becoming aware of your own patterns around food and body image, so you have the choice not to pass them on. Listen now to hear how you can raise children with a healthy, confident relationship to eating.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr Alex Leedham to explore the idea of the "social battery" in autism — a simple but powerful way of understanding why children with autism can so easily become overwhelmed. Alex explains how everyday demands, from noisy classrooms to social chit-chat, can drain energy far more quickly for autistic children than for their peers. She introduces the idea of creating a battery-draining list and a battery-charging list - practical tools families can use to spot triggers, plan ahead, and build in restorative breaks. We talk about how parents can help children tune into their own needs, develop emotional literacy, and learn what really recharges them — whether that's quiet time with headphones, preparing in advance for transitions, or connecting with close friends over a shared interest. It's different for everyone. If you've ever wondered how to protect your autistic child's energy and prevent overwhelm, this episode offers both clarity and practical strategies you can start using straight away.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by family therapist Shadi Shahnavaz to talk about how to reach teens who won't engage — why some adolescents shut their parents out, and what parents can do to gently rebuild connection. We explore the everyday struggles families face when communication breaks down: parents feeling rejected, teens retreating into silence, and the cycle of criticism and withdrawal that leaves everyone exhausted. Shadi explains why trust is often lost on both sides, and how small, respectful shifts can make all the difference. Most importantly, Shadi offers guidance on what parents can try this week: listening without judgment, setting fair and boundaried rules, and creating everyday moments of connection that build safety and trust. From bringing a hot chocolate to their room to sharing dinner together, these small acts open the door to bigger conversations. If you've ever felt shut out by your teenager — or wondered how to reach them without pushing them further away — this episode will give you both reassurance and practical steps to bring the relationship back to life.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr Tara Porter to talk about perfectionism — what it is, why it's rising, and how it affects young people today.

We explore the cultural pressures that push children towards "never enough," from school and exams to social media and even well-meaning family expectations. Tara explains why perfectionism is such a risk factor for mental health, and how parents can recognise when opportunities tip into pressure.

Most importantly, Tara offers guidance on what parents can do differently: focusing on balance, building connection, and bringing joy back into everyday family life. From protecting time for dinner together to asking the right questions at the end of the day, this conversation is full of practical insights to help children feel safe, valued, and truly "enough."

If you've ever worried about your child putting too much pressure on themselves — or wondered how best to support them through an achievement-driven culture — this episode will give you both reassurance and realistic steps forward.

Resources and Links

Learn more about Dr Tara Porter's work and writing: https://drtaraporter.com

Read my article based on this conversation: Avoiding the Perfectionism Trap: Raising a Child Who Feels Enough

Explore more episodes of Just One Thing for Parents: https://drbettinahohnen.com/podcasts