Just Trying To Help

Mattering is a core human need but we don't talk enough about why mattering matters. This week, I'm peeling back the therapy curtain to bring you the questions I ask my clients when I get the sense that they feel like they don't matter.

A note about confronting our most challenging moments, the courage that comes from facing what’s in front of us, and the importance of turning towards instead of turning away.

Disappointment, dissatisfaction, and life regrets. Examining the brain's tendency to wander and long for a different reality. Navigating the struggle of wishing things were different than they are.

Rising rates of loneliness, unprecedented rates of separation and divorce, a drastic decline in friendships. We need to keep talking about social connection, how to stay in relationships, and how to strengthen our collective social health.

Many of us feel like we aren't good enough when we aren't doing enough. The state of constant chase keeps us chronically pursuing goals without ever feeling a sense of accomplishment. There's another way.

Unraveling the control paradox— how we manage our fear of not having control by trying to gain more of it. How to release our need to be in control of outcomes and let go of our tendency to control others.

Keeping up with appearances is far from enjoyable. It’s exhausting to pretend like everything is fine all the time. It’s annoying to constantly perform as the person who has it all figured out. It’s frustrating to feel like we have to conform to achieve a sense of belonging. The burden of maintaining a facade of unwavering positivity, even when our true emotions and experiences don't align, can weigh heavily on us. Here's what we can do instead.

Read the full article here: Keeping up with appearances by Jake Ernst on Substack

This week, I'm talking about our tendency to take on other people's emotions. This can happen at work, in relationships, and with our close family members. At its extreme, this is a pattern known as emotional enmeshment. In this episode, I talk about how to build emotional autonomy, reclaim our own emotional identity, and curb our tendency to take on the emotions of everyone around us.

Read the full article here: Absorbing everyone else's emotions by Jake Ernst on Substack

Lately, I've thinking about how common it is to believe that busy is better. This week, I'm talking about how to break free from being busy and how to shift from chaos to calm. It's hard to let go of our need to be busy and drop the identity of "the busy bee". For many, it's just not easy to find stillness and take off the busy badge.

Read the full article here: Breaking free from being busy by Jake Ernst on Substack

"Everyone seems to have it all figured out!" "Why can everyone do it but me?" Moving beyond picture-perfect and resisting the performance of wellness. Shattering the illusion of effortless wellbeing.

Read the full article here: The illusion of effortless wellbeing by Jake Ernst on Substack