David Waldman pines for the Virginia fjords around this time of year and can only deny his wanderlust two more hours before this three-day weekend. 

Generalissimo Donald K. Trump will keep hosting military parades until everyone salutes. The Navy version should have better floats of course and will feature dancing Sea Cadets, escorting the beautiful new giant Ashli Babbitt balloon, along with musical guest Gloria Gaynor riding on the Robert E. Lee memorial float, brought to you by that "King of Beers", Pete Hegseth.

ICEISIS are icing themselves out. You can now spot them by looking for the "47" tattoo next to their "88".

You knew that with the Trump administration it'd be only a matter of time before there would be a Federal Boob Inspector. Speaking of Tatas, Anthony Tata, retired brigadier general, practicing racist Islamophobe, and acting Pentagon lacky, has been connected in a few ways to the internet's most notorious astrologer, Amy Tripp.

If New Jersey got rid of Alina Habba when they should have, they wouldn't be in the trouble that they are in today.

Trump cancels Kamala Harris' Secret Service detail as he'd hate to see anyone live longer than him.

Greenland is all bothered just because the US is looking into toppling their government. Trump says, Relax guy! You should see what we have planned for Alaska!

Gop Mark Alford goes to town halls to lie, thinking that his constituents understood that. Lies are bad for science, etc. so scientists etc. are moving to Blue Sky.