Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to distract you from the real problem, whatever that might be.

Another RIP goes out, this time to Tom Lehrer. Some of you know his math, and a few of you might know his cryptography, but many of you know many of his songs, and you owe it to yourself to know many more. Hopefully, this will be an opportunity for some sort of collaboration with Ozzy Osborne.

Scotland welcomes Donald K. Trump. They say that the K stands for Knuckle-brained fart lozenge. We say they're welcome to him. Inexplicably, the Scots keep letting him in. Donald saves on strokes by aiming for his caddy's back pocket.

Independents dislike Trump even more than they dislike Biden. Voters hate what Trump does and hate Democrats for letting him do it.

That darn Epstein! Out there, stealing Trump's glory and/or distracting from his crimes. Trump opens the borders to violent criminals and mass murderers. It isn't only that MAGA likes rapists and murderers, but it's how much they like to rape and murder that makes them so deplorable.