TACO Tuesday! David Waldman gets us this far, at least.

Donald K. Trump wants to run the country and the world but needs to maintain his golf game. Donald juggles his many momentous obligations by, well, golfing. Also, Trump has his iPhone, which anyone, anywhere in the world can call anytime they want to hear a “Wha, huh?’ directly from the most powerful man on Earth... if he’s not text messaging.

This system worked perfectly while Elon was around. Musk has since moved on, but did pass on the gift of incel focus to his old pal Stephen Miller, who is now putting all of his newfound extra spare time into his job. It’s Stephen Miller vs. Harvard, only one will be left standing, unless of course, TACO.

Actor Jonathan Joss was killed in a San Antonio shooting. Police see no evidence of a hate crime, other than Joss’ complaints of constant verbal harassment, his house being burnt to the ground, and his dog being beheaded... After all, you don’t need much of a reason to shoot someone in Texas.

Then there’s Texas' former solicitor general, who really knows how to put the “ass” in “asteroid” … or maybe vice versa.

Over in Idaho, Trump USDA nominee Michael Boren built himself a cabin on National Forest land, then diverted a stream and put in an airstrip just like a pioneer.