Hey, at least the sound system was working today, when Greg Dworkin dropped by with his Raft o’ Stories!

Senate Dems are wrestling with the question of whether they should screw up, or do the right thing. Sounds easy! But it never really is, even if we think we know the right answer. (And the biggest union representing federal workers just happens to agree, too.) But time’s running out to unify behind a single, coherent position (if there is one). And the one thing nobody expected has just happened: House Republicans had unified!

Hey, by the way, have we misunderstood—or just been too credulous—in accepting the characterization of Trump as “transactional?” That might not be quite right. Or even right at all. We do know that he sucks for the economy, though. Even though we’re also not supposed to think of the “stonk” market as the economy. The thing is, Trump thinks he can move seamlessly from “I’ll fix it on Day One,” to “You knew you were signing up for pain.”

Tesla hatred is purifying hatred. Even if you don’t believe Trump actually bought one.

I have some bad news for you. The DOGE weirdos do not live their “efficiency” mission. It turns out that Elon, who claims that working nights and weekends is a “super power,” is mostly just doing what your kids are doing with their nights and weekends: playing video games. But in a very billionaire-y way, I’m sure! Not to worry, though. He’s got a high-priced consultant to help him buy big TVs to use as gaming monitors. Hope that didn’t get installed at government expense! Ha ha! (It probably did.)

Meanwhile, over at OPM, where the job is to kick everybody else out of their jobs, the agency spokesperson has been—efficiently, no doubt—moonlighting as an Instagram fashion influencer. To be fair, it’s not clear that she actually influences anybody. But the real point is that she’s doing it from the office. On your time, and your dime.

And just to give you one more thing to think worry about, if the DOGE kids actually do succeed in selling off government office buildings, what’s gonna happen to the artwork? Yes, there’s artwork! And some of it is pretty valuable! And there are a bunch of grubby billionaires with light fingers in town!