Trump was back in town, by which I mean my town, for his Big Crypto-Bribery Dinner. It’s like an invasion! These people are terrorists! And they probably have the tattoos to prove it! And if they don’t, we can make them have them, in totally undoctored photos!

Anyway, the good news is, Trump took their money and screwed them. So that’s nice.

The only problem with that is, he’s also gonna take your money and screw you. And if you take him to court and win, no you didn’t.

Constitushimal scholar Kristi Noem breaks the world record for the most wrong answer ever given to the question “What is habeas corpus?”

Of course, the “real” constimatushimal scholars aren’t doing much better. Maybe you’ve been hearing about this Humphrey’s Executor thing? Well, here’s what’s up.

Can’t believe those relatively smart-ish law nerds are chucking it all… for this!

The next round of deportation outrage. Not only is it dumber and more nonsensical, but it’s yet another example of the defiance everybody was totally gonna do something about next time it happens!

Just how dumb and nonsensical is it? Imagine this: It’s, like, 500 billion nonsensical! That’s a lot of nonsensical!