David Waldman returns to the KITM helm following our three-day national holiday traditionally known as “President Bone Spurs’ Suckers and Losers Day”, or at least that is the tradition from this point on.

Donald K. Trump is going to teach Russia who’s the man here. Russia hates when it’s Trump’s time of the month. MAGA hates when mom and dad fight. Trump wants to wear the pants with Europe, but it’s kind of embarrassing when they keep dropping around his ankles. Europe doesn’t have to consent only because Trump feels the need to confirm his masculinity.

Trump doesn’t let all of that manliness get in the way of his caring empathy. Who else would have seen it in their heart to pardon a sheriff for felony bribery, the tax cheat whose mom dropped a million at Mar-a-Lago, or the guys who conspired to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer, but our Donald? Trump absolutely does not care about the deficit though, which is just some fake number that he didn’t pull out of his ass.

Having a king running the country sounds like a good idea if you can vote for them and they don’t really run the country. Trump wants to be king but doesn’t mind if the courts want to pretend that he isn’t. The courts need to get some guns in case all this pretending gets out of hand.