David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and Thursday, together again. Nothing else seems to be right in the world, but that makes sense.

Sorry Hispanics! Trump Tower Grill has permanently removed the delicious taco bowl off its menu. Trump doesn’t want to hear the words “TACO”, nor “chicken”, ever again. He’d prefer you say that he was traitorously devaluing stocks to enrich insiders than to hurt him so. Trump’s tariffs have been halted by the “Court of International Trade”, which turns out to be an actual thing. America’s trading partners cautiously creep out into the sunlight to see if it’s safe. Tariffs might subside, but the damage is permanent. As with Trump 1.0, it’s hard to imagine the disaster if these people were competent.

House Gop Rep. Mike Flood explains that he’s just too stupid to be blamed for this mess.

Tariffs aren’t the only thing that Trump always chickens out on. Donald’s squealing louder about Harvard, because he’s starting to be backed up.

Elon Musk, who doesn't work at DOGE, is leaving DOGE, which doesn't exist, therefore, he’s not really going anywhere. Still, wherever Elon goes, federal money will follow. Elon will go down in history as… well, he won’t because he fired all of the historians.

Trump wants his henchman Emil Bove, the only guy “alive” who looks more like Stephen Miller than Stephen Miller, to be a federal judge in order to enable him to hench better. Miller presently has several reasons for his long face, one being his wife allegedly running off to “Master Race” with Elon Musk. An ugly future for this world, indeed.

Trump ratfucker Ed Martin’s new job is weaponizing the DOJ weaponization probes, while also brainstorming new MAGA underworld members to pardon. He’s almost run out of Republican congressmen to spring, but that’s because Trump has been shutting down investigations before they can become indictments.  

Todd Chrisley walks out of prison showing off his “prison bod”, but that isn’t the bod that got him pardoned.

Woke Okies plan to opt-out of having their kids take part in the state’s White-Christian nationalist school curriculum or to even look at the superintendent.