Greg Dworkin helps launch us into the weekend, with a rapid-fire roundup that somehow made a detour to Madison Square Garden.

There’s a new terrible Surgeon General nominee in town (who may or may not be into the raw milk thing), the old one having been chucked over on Laura Loomer’s say-so! But there won’t be much new baby gear in town, thanks to those tariffs. Any port in a storm, they say. But not in a trade war. And certainly not if it’s on the Gulf of Mexico.

Speaking of which, I don’t know if any other countries are going to listen to us about that renaming project. But I know they’re not listening to us on the anti-DEI project. Why would they?

Why, exactly, is Elon Musk hoovering up so much government data? It’s irresponsible not to speculate!

North Carolina’s long regional nightmare is over. Incredibly, a Trumper appears to be listening to a judge! But maybe that’s because he wanted to be a judge.

Trump’s memecoin is a huge corruption scandal. Which (necessarily) means that its benefits skew entirely toward his wealthiest boosters. (Well, except one of them!) Especially the foreign ones. Strongly-worded letter to follow?

In the House, Trump’s “one big, beautiful bill” doesn’t look so attractive anymore. But that’s life with a razor-thin majority, I guess.

Trump and courts still just don’t really mix. His DOJ gets its ass handed to it in a key immigration case, with another egregious case—deportations to Libya!—likely next on the track.

The kids are alright. But they’ve elected an anti-pope! They may still be alright, but this DOGE kid isn’t.