Today, David Waldman reports that the Pope is Catholic. The results of the KITM investigation into the bears of our local woods will be revealed on Monday’s show.

100% of the world’s supply of Popes is now proudly made in the USA. (Available in S, M, & L.) White Sox fan Bob Prevost is now Pope Leo XIV, a new chosen name and identity most won’t have trouble respecting. The Antichrist is laying low at the moment, but the Pope is already on the record with his biases, which to some theologians don’t ring patriotic. Anyhow, Leo now has an advantage in future Thanksgiving table family arguments.

Oops! The USS Harry S. Truman lost its third F/A-18 Super Hornet. Well, it has a pretty good idea of where they left them... Ever since Pete Hegseth decided to replace every 100 soldiers with a gorilla, things just haven’t been quite the same.

Pete can return to drowning all his troubles with fellow former Fox host Jeanine Pirro, now interim U.S. attorney in Washington, D.C. There’s got to be some ambassadorship left somewhere for Ed Martin.

Team Trump looked around and says, “Wait, are we the baddies?” Then said, “Meh” and broke for lunch. Laura Loomer wants to begin actual witch hunts. Trump Surgeon General pick Janette Nesheiwat had a troubled youth, with just a touch of patricide. Trump doesn’t know why he makes these decisions, maybe Bobby told him to. RFK Jr.’s former running mate thinks perhaps Bob’s mind is being controlled.

The FBI will be investigating Trump prosecutors for whatever they accused Trump on. The EPA will discontinue the Energy Star program, after all, who trusts what the government says anymore?