David Waldman and Greg Dworkin begin our month talking about the end of the USA.

After 6 months of tumbling down the mountainside, our government lays in a heap at the bottom of the cliff. Who the hell was at the wheel? Gops deserve most of the blame, as this has been their destination for a generation, they're taking selfies around the debris, and are already killing any survivors they can get their hands on. Democrats have also found their rock bottom and decided to hold on to it to see how long the Gops can take it.

The second front on Donald K. Trump's war on America is his literal war on America. Yesterday, Pete Kegsbreath said that he will transform our military forces into the best frat in history: no lardos, unlimited hazing, and girls, girls, girls! Military leaders in attendance quietly smacked their gobs at the new directives, then Generalissimo Trump assured them that their troops will soon be using hippies for target practice. 

Google searches are having memory lapses, trouble forming sentences and completing thoughts when asked about Trump and dementia.

Donald gave an "Article-5-like" security guarantee to Qatar promising to send a lot of the n-word into the Middle East if they are ever in trouble. Yes, Trump's jumbo jet refurbishment is coming along nicely, why do you ask?

You know what you aren't asking about? A few things, but also JEFFREY EPSTEIN. Once Arizona Democrat Adelita Grijalva is sworn in, some of those things can be looked into. Grijalva deserves to be at work, but federal judges have determined that Sigal Chattah and Alina Habba should be unemployed.

Speaking of employment, now is the time to send some Darwin Darko's way! Contact him or us with leads!