Hello, world. I’m back! Well, sort of. Have an episode of My Week In Tinder that basically serves as the backdoor pilot of my new soon-to-launch podcast, Everything Is Terrible (And That’s Okay). I know this last episode (which, given my track record, is probably definitely not the last episode) is super short, so if you want to hear my voice again soon, check out the premiere of Chris Tries to Review Wine, launching Wednesday Winesday, June 20th.

Surprise! I’m back for one-night only before I drown my single-ass self in a bottle of wine. (You didn’t really think I’d let Valentine’s Day pass by without doing something, did you?) Consider this special V-Day episode a follow up to last year’s. You can read the essay featured in this episode here. Spoiler alert: everything’s still terrible and that’s still okay.

I’m Kate Densen, and this is the final episode of My Week In Tinder. You can read the essay this episode contains, “Fare Thee Well to All That,” here.

Remember: Everything’s terrible, and that’s okay.

My Week In Tinder is back after an unintentional hiatus because life. Since we last spoke, I hit online dating rock bottom (not as fun as it sounds), went on one date, am experiencing some sort of John Cusack in High Fidelity-esque existential crisis, and received some laughable messages. Also, I challenge listeners to come up with a definition for “thristmuffin.” (Don’t bother trying to Google it, there are zero results.)

If you live in New York and have no plans this Friday (May 12th), come to Chris Tries to Review Wine Live! at the PIT Loft, a variety show written and hosted by my very talented friend, and expert Trader Joe’s sommelier, Chris Barlow. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and your ticket will include a glass of wine. Oh, and I’ll be there to offer some Tinder expertise.

As always, you can reach out at [email protected]. Cheers!

Here’s a super-short outtake (it’s literally not even four minutes long) from Episode 8 in which Ariel and I discuss an important issue women (and probably some men, too) have to face (both literally and figuratively) on dating apps: unsolicited dick pics.

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My Week In Tinder? More like My Month In Tinder, amirite? There’s a 78% chance it was worth the wait, though, because this episode (the longest yet!) features my very first guest, Ariel. Highlights: the perils of being bisexual on dating apps, when “friends with benefits” works, and of course, some of the funnier messages both Ariel and I received this week.

If you’d like to be a guest or have an answer to the question, “What do people do on dates these days?,” reach out at [email protected].

Apparently, some people need clarification that I’m not a sex or relationship expert. I also ponder the difference between a kink and a fetish, share a slew of messages about food (?), as well as two follow up messages, including one that previously incited my most profane rant in the history of MWIT. Bonus points if you correctly count the number of times I say “weird” in this episode.

Share your own stories or be a guest by emailing [email protected].

“Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.” – Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I don’t have much else to say about Valentine’s Day, so I present, “A Brief History of Men I May Have Loved (And Who Didn’t Love–or Even Like–Me Back),” an essay you can also read on my blog. (I know, I know. Reading is totes 2016.)

We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled MWIT programming next week or something. If you have questions or want to be a guest or yell at me: [email protected].

Brevity is the soul of wit, so this episode isn’t even 20 minutes long. There’s a new app coming to town and I CAN’T WAIT. What happens when I actually respond to someone who just messages “hi”? Nothing good. Also, an unsolicited critique of my OKCupid profile and my response to it.

As always, feel free to reach out at [email protected].