From the man who introduced self love, and even “love itself,” to the beauty and fashion industries, David Kibbe, comes a scale which can determine the very essence of a person using the scientific measurements of “bones big, bones small.” The Kibbe Body Type test came about during the self-help era of the 1980s, but has found new life online, as people rush to sort themselves into arbitrary physical categories. Is Kibbe water for lost souls wandering through the late capitalist desert, or simply a mirage, revealing how little we trust ourselves today? Tangents include: Mrs. Incredible’s Kibbe body type, Marlon Brando smashing every eligible bachelor in Hollywood, and the worst episode of Sex and the City. 

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