Kill All Film Majors

Welcome to the first inaugural KAFM Crap Bracket! Where we run down all the junk we saw (mostly in theaters) and decide what was the biggest waste of our time! Turns out the jokes on us, cause the true biggest waste was setting up a bunch of cameras that didn’t turn out usable, and ruining half the audio. Can you believe we’re coming up on a year? Surely we’d be better than this by now. But never expect better on the CRAP BRACKET.

On this episode of Goodwill Grab Bag, Duncan is complacent with mid 2000's mid action, like some kind of cop with a family. Meanwhile, John hates everyone but the greaseball cop threatening the first guy's family. Also, Jake Gyllenhaal shows up to offer another terrible video game movie to our altar.

On the first KAFM Christmas special we tap into the exhausted working class Christmas we all remember from our childhoods, coupled with all the World War II residual intrigue and crack smoking that comes with any good KAFM episode. So listen kids, Dad had to work late on Christmas Eve and he’s a little tired. Let him sleep awhile before we get to opening presents. Actually we should probably wait until your cousins arrive so you can open everything together. They drove a long way to be here today, you can wait a few hours. Merry Christmas.

Closing out the year with two of the highest profile misfires of 2024, Coppola and Costner return to the big screen to burn a collective 220 million dollars, and we couldn’t be happier for half of it. There’s something beautiful about a man with nothing to lose except for all of his money. We’ve got a million questions and almost no answers but one thing is for certain: Kevin Costner is never getting his wife back. I hope those Horizon sequels keep him warm at night.

Goodwill Grab Bag time! Millia Jovovofich returns from the box, teaming with Steve Zahn to create a movie more boring than Rescue Dawn ever was. Mark Whalberg also returns, bringing Jason Statham and some other dorks to stage a heist your Dad can nap through and still enjoy.

Perhaps a first for our Double Feature series- but the movies this week are both good. If you’re Duncan, you might even say they’re both GREAT. If you’re John, I’m so sorry for you.

Roland Emmerich is so good at pretending to make movies he almost tricked everybody with this one. Meanwhile, Cole Trickle is in a pickle and the only one who can save him is the AMC ad woman. John was wrong, Tony Scott is Ridley Scott's brother and yep he killed himself. But before doing that he made a dope movie where Tom Cruise goes in a circle wearing a goofy name.

Our first Halloween special makes for our first hastily thrown together holiday tradition: Trick Or Treat. We picked one detested horror flick for the trick and one celebrated horror film for the treat- then we watched them in the reverse order ruining our whole gimmick. I guess we’re calling it Treat And Trick.

Back again with the first Double Feature Sequel Edition! What a shame it had to start here. Bill Skarsgard continues his all-timer run of starring in crap. Is there a single talented Skars-child? We gotta stop watching things made for literal babies.

Goodwill Grab Bag once again curses the duo with a double dose of who could even care. Millia Jvovovvich stars as Paul WS Anderson’s original character of “Twice Naked Wife,” who can’t remember jack. Turns out that’s a meta twist cause I can’t remember these movies either. Will Alice find her memory? Will Batman make it out of Laos? And most importantly: Why is this box full of video game movies?