Killed By Porn

Wow, what a show! Boredom is banned, fun gets reckless. Girls come over, guys jump off bridges.Cowboys get welfare, hallucinations set it. A J.G. Ballard novel is given a soundtrack, more pills are popped, someone leaves Kill City, California sinks a little.

If you still haven’t figured out how to get the GaragePunk Podcast playlists, Just know you’re at least a step above the people who still don’t even know what a podcast is. If it confuses you, don’t think of it as a podcast, think of it as a mixtape; a digital mixtape with one side. This episode in particular is not only one sided, but one half of one boundary. Confused? Time to start listening…

Purveyors of fine filth rejoice, the new episode of Killed By Porn is here! Much like the album Dark Side of the Moon is said to synch with the film The Wizard of Oz to create an interesting effect, this podcast synchs with the album itself with an outstanding result! To achieve this effect do the following…

Start Dark Side of the Moon.

Turn it all the way down.

Play this podcast very loud.

This April has zeros and ones doing more of what you’d least expect: committing rock & roll sin on another episode of Killed By Porn. This edition contains a lineup of tooth-achingly sweet power pop gems to complement the Spring air. Some harder punk tracks to complement the napalm in your soul during the cool nights. And a few other odd pleasures to lull you through the shame of blacking out on the warm streets. Swallow that mouthful of blood and play this one over and over again.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to get ready for Spring. Buying new clothes, getting a classy new haircut, and trying to appeal to the opposite sex is the wrong way. What alternatives are there? Getting some cool sunglasses, throwing your Winter coat into a wood chipper, using your high school chemistry kit to make Spanish Fly, starting to drink heavily so mosquitos stay away from you, and crashing your car for the insurance money so you can buy a jetski. That, and listening habitually to Killed By Porn, is the right way.

If you gave up porn for Lent, you’re about to ring the register on a whole year of sin. And if you can’t handle that, you’d better nail your own hands to a plank of wood, because once you hit that podcast button there’s no turning back. Not only is this episode a slew of dirty rock and roll tunes, it also contains a ceremonial voodoo singalong designed to curse a certain vandal of the art world. We’ll see you in hell.

This podcast could make your day… today! But, don’t play it at your school; it could get you suspended. It’s not safe to play at work, or in front of young kids, or in front of any uptight Christians. Even your rugged, nasty whore friends may be offended. Moreover, the only safe way to listen to this one is through headphones, drunk, and lying on your dirty linoleum floor while no one else is around; but it will make your day… today.

After smoking Cuban cigars in Panama, hitting swingers clubs in Argentina, and narrowly escaping a kidnapping charge in Columbia, Duke Eastwood is back in the dirty desert wasteland of Denver, Colorado to bring you another not-ready-for-primetime podcast. Not all podcasts have a happy ending; listen for this one’s safe word.

Duke’s currently on safari, filming a slasher movie or something in some far-off, exotic country and neglected to submit an intro description for this show, but listen to it anyway. Ya know ya wanna…

Like being left alone with your dad’s creepy best friend… here’s Killed By Porn, episode number 7. Duke’s got enough alcohol to kill a rhinocerous, and enough wild-ass rock’n’roll to wipe out an entire civilization of squares. Check it out for yourself… [Squares and rhinos beware!]