Kink Friendly

I recently ran across a post on Reddit where Dominant women were discussing their frustrations with failed Dominant/submissive and Female-Led Relationships. Basically, men were approaching Dominant Women to get their rocks off, then they ghosted them. The women are hurt, baffled, and confused over the behavior. I decided to do a show on the subject matter. Perhaps this will help, ladies. Let’s talk about it!

In relationships, sometimes the man is the one who is wrong. Sometimes, it’s the woman. However, at the end of the day, the man is the one who has likely been in control in the relationship. He calls the shots, he makes the majority of the money, is mostly responsible for the upkeep of the household, and he rations intimacy. So, when it comes to getting the woman on board with his attempts to improve the relationship – men, need to be prepared to fall on their swords. Let’s talk about it!

Women who lead in their relationships must learn to differentiate between when the male submissive is rebelling and the one who is struggling with not being able to get his bearings. We all know that men struggle with submission because of pride and ego. However, nothing is being said about men struggling with submission because they lost, confused, and vulnerable. Let’s talk about it!

It is very common for couples to try Kink Therapy without giving any serious consideration to traditional Relationship Therapy/Counseling. They will commit themselves to the mastery of all kinds of BDSM activities, in the pursuit of improving their relationship, but they will not put nearly as much energy into learning how to relate to one another as human beings. Let’s take a deep dive into the truth of why people think that relationship counseling doesn’t work.

Let’s go through one of the many messages that are sent to me as I am being labeled as a hater and a transphobe. For each person that sends me a message like this, I apologize for any pain or offense that I have caused the listener, and I invite them to an open discussion. To date, not a single one of them has taken me up on that offer. They don’t want to discuss issues. Instead, they want to agenda dump. There is a difference between hating and speaking truth. Let’s talk about this shit.

I recently tasked a male submissive-in-training with writing out his thoughts on ”submission after orgasm.” Actually, it might have actually been his idea to do this assignment. At any rate, I knew that I could trust him, and I knew that his response would be enlightening and helpful for other men. Just as with all of his other written assignments, he did not disappoint. Let’s talk about it!

Men and women are conditioned to believe that, for a man, once orgasm has been achieved that the act of love-making is over. Many times, women will want to cuddle and remain close to their partner, maybe even make attempts to keep him inside of her for as long as possible, post-orgasm. However, as far as things go for the guy, women are conditioned to believe that there is nothing else to be done. I beg to differ. Aftercare is an artform that is usually overlooked by both sexes. Let’s talk about it!

Men who are coming from BDSM (aka kink-friendly spaces) who claim that they know how a woman should lead because they, themselves, used to be dominant are problematic. Men who lead in relationships lean more toward personal sexual gratification than anything else. Their idea of being dominant in a relationship is to be domineering and to get their sexual demands met. Let’s talk about it.

What is true submission? How do you as a man know, from moment to moment, whether or not you are walking in true submission? Because, you see, submission is not something that you haphazardly apply to whatever random acts you want. Submission is a state of being that you can only access when you are aching. True goodboys know this, and true goodboys long to be in that submissive space, especially once they have been granted release and they inadvertently snap out of that space. Let’s talk about it!

Women have been discerning between “good touch” and “bad touch” since we were children. This skill is a part of what helps us to survive. However, a woman will find herself in a relationship with a man that she believes really loves her, only to feel like she is nothing more than a sexual object that is being used to get her guy off. Men, do you want to know why your female significant other might be shut down and why she does not engage with you, sexually, for lengthy periods of time? Let’s talk about it!