A lot of us can feel shocked or shell shocked after leaving AA or 12 step. Today we're going to unpack what shell shock is, how it applies to leaving AA, post cult trauma and post cult symptoms that people may experience according to cult expert Margaret Singer's work in her book Cults in Our Midst.

Of course this isn't medical advice and if you need support, find a professional who can help support you.

Timestamps:

00:00 Feeling Shocked After Leaving AA Intro

04:44 What is Shell Shock?

09:24 How Shell Shock Applies to Leaving AA

15:35 Post Cult Trauma

33:25 Post Cult Systems

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Timestamps

00:00 AA Shutdown Playbook Intro

03:10 1 - Make It Personal Immediately

06:28 2 - Assume Motive You Can't Know

10:09 3 - Invoke Slogans As Sacred Truth

15:48 4 - Announce Sober Time

19:46 5 - Reduce AA to the Big Book

22:33 6 - Ignore Harm Entirely

27:48 7 - Turn Anecdotes Into Universal Laws

33:20 8 - Claim Superiority Through Suffering

35:08 9 - Label Dissent As Denial

37:46 10 - Declare Never A "Real Alcoholic"

40:22 11 - Truth Claims Without Data, Evidence, Citation

42:46 12 - End With Righteousness

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Today we are exploring AA's "It Works If You Work It" mythology.

We'll bring in thoughts and research from experts (you know I like to read a little from deprogramming books on these pods!), Burnie aka Tara Grace from Burn The Stigma will share her perspective, I'll share mine (it's me, Kirsten, Sobriety Bestie). Then we crowd source for comments to see what everyone else thinks.

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Happy New Year!! Woot woot 2026.

Today we're exploring "New Freedom and New Happiness" from the AA promises and what that looks like in deprogramming.

I'll share my version of "The Promises" for leaving AA. Then we'll crowd source other people's thoughts and ideas about The Promises when they were in AA and what their creating now that they've left.

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Rene joins us today to share about how AA became a self prophecy leading him to be in and out of the rooms for twenty years.

Rene's IG

Rene's TikTok

Timestamps:

00:00 In + Out of AA For 20 Years

05:50 Going to AA Knowing It's A Cult

17:25 Leaving AA Cult Within A Cult

20:48 South Florida Pill Mills

23:18 AA Ideology Created A Negative Cycle

32:08 AA is a Self Fulfilling Prophecy

36:50 Changing the Recovery Narrative

44:39 The Big Book Mythology

49:11 How He Actually Got Better

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

🌀 Deprogram AA Course (free your mind at your own pace)

Let’s get f*cking free

Today we are exploring AA's powerless idea and pickle mythology.

You know how in AA they say "once a cucumber becomes a pickle, there's no going back." Meaning once you "cross a line" with drinking and become an "alcoholic" there is no becoming a normal drinker again. But modern science debunks this.

We'll bring in thoughts and research from experts (you know I like to read a little from deprogramming books on these pods!), Burnie aka Tara Grace from Burn The Stigma will share her perspective, I'll share mine (it's me, Kirsten, Sobriety Bestie). Then we crowd source for comments to see what everyone else thinks.

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

🧰 Escape Kit (resources to Deprogram AA)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Join us for a fun Holiday episode as Carrie (Carrie's Substack) and I sing about the 12 days of leaving Alcoholics Anonymous.

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, Book Club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free.

Join us for a fun Holiday inspired episode as Carrie (Carrie's Substack) and I share the gifts of leaving AA from our perspective.

Timestamps:

00:00 Gifts of Leaving AA Intro

01:13 The Gifts When Starting AA or Love Bombing?

01:55 Gift Newcomer Conversation

06:50 Growing Up in AA Cult + Leaving

11:40 Deprogramming AA is The Gift That Keeps Giving

16:27 Gift When First Leaving AA

19:30 Gift Months After Leaving AA

23:16 GIft One Year After Leaving AA

25:40 Gifts of Current Deprogramming Journey

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, Book Club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free.

Today we are exploring the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of 12 step rehab treatment centers.

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

🧰 Escape Kit (resources to Deprogram AA)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

Let’s get f*cking free

Today we're unpacking spiritual bypassing, the use of spirituality or spiritual practices to override our feelings. We'll cover what spiritual bypassing can look like inside 12 step, how our brains are often trained to spiritual bypass via our sponsors, the meetings and the literature and what spiritual bypassing can be like on our deprogramming AA journey.

This audio is from today's livestream on Sobriety Bestie YouTube from our weekly show "Tea With Bestie." Feel free to join us live on Thursdays at 9am Pacific / 5 pm UK.

Resources for deconstructing AA:

👉 Deprogram Lounge (community, Zooms, book club, Escape Kit + more)

📚 Deprogram Book List (my fave deprogram, cult recovery and critical thinking books)

🌀 Deprogram AA Course (free your mind at your own pace)

Let’s get f*cking free