Knee Deep

When their overweight cousin Zuke gets snatched off the vine and held hostage on a giant catapult, Mr. Pumpkin calls on the Pumpkin Nation to help. Will their beloved zucchini end up a massive flying side dish, or will mercy flow through the veins of all pumpkins this Halloween season?

Walking among the weathered boulders of the Arizonadesert, one sees a delicate relationship they have with their center of gravity. The exact point of balance is a reminder that our core convictions are not formed by a mathematical relationship, but our own internal Rock that keep us tightly anchored when the terrain gets steep or unpredictable.

Most of the things we desire in life are completely without merit. They serve only to boost a low self-esteem, or fulfill a temporary craving, usually one with food, or as it turns out, with Fiat 500’s. So, when I saw a small green Fiat, my childhood dream of being a cartoon superhero immediately was realized. I saw a vision of myself as Avocado Man and vowed to fulfill my destiny and purchase this green oval on wheels. Now all I needed was a side of guac and a license to thrill.

A record-breaking swim, extraordinary climb and bike tourall in one day. An unsurpassable athletic event. A sports feat that would stretch the body beyond its human capabilities. They said it couldn’t be done, but with a few typos and the right connecting flights, I decided I could make it happen and still be interviewed on the six o’clock news. This is one man’s guide tothe ultimate triathlon, a heroic story of the Asterisk Athlete and his quest for a place in sports history. 

It only took a couple of chaotic knock-knock jokes withmy granddaughter to remind me that life’s best moments are never scripted. Breaking free of our perfectionism, we usher in a whole lot of beautiful messes, and random bloopers.  Welcome loyal listeners to season five of Knee Deep!

It turns out the IRS doesn't accept "the wind ate my tax returns" as a valid excuse for an extension. I watched my financial history scatter across the highway like confetti, proving once and for all that all my deductions are literally for the birds.

Every year now since our surfing friend Sammy pushed offthe shore to find his footing, his world tour has eventually brought him back to us. While he dodges the great forces of nature on his surfboard, he took a few minutes from his Into-the-Void World Tour to talk to us in this exclusiveinterview. His inspiration? It’s always a surprise, and always inspirational. Here’s Sammy, taking a breather from the big world breakers, toes in the sand and shooting the breeze with Knee Deep. Pura Vida, Man!

I always thought the function of being notified ofincoming spam was to let me know there is someone suspicious calling, but I never thought in a million years that person would be me. Sad America, it’s true, we are our own worst spam-enemy.

Noise, growth, and color…the glorious trifecta of Spring.Acceleration is in the air, and my new theory of Re-Jeffing is revving into action and gaining momentum. Is there too much of anything springy this time of year? Not on your life, or your honeysuckle vine either…

On paper, it looked like Duke had it in the hoop, but when you take the X-factor out of an equation, you get a kind of basketball madness that anyone can win at the buzzer. I was trying to make that UConn shot in my dreams, but the math wasn’t adding up and I couldn’t score to save my life.